Dads

[TexanStar]

What's one thing you always wish your dad had done for you but didn't OR what's one thing your dad did for you that was awesome enough to mention?

 

[MickeyLee]

He completely accepted my queer ass from the get go. When I wanted boy toys I got bb guns and action figures. When I told him I liked girls he asked to meet my girlfriend. My Dad is, like, 8th generation hillbilly mountain boy. Not the type you'd think would be so open and loving to a tomboy turned baby dyke.

He also never said boo about me being a vegetarian. The man was born with a hunting rifle in this hands and rocked camo diapers.

He taught me how to wrench on rides. He kept his old trucks on the road when other people would have bought a new ride. He taught me self-reliance and pride with each session of home auto repair.

I love my Pops.

ETA: He also took the time to teach me the basics and more of most construction trades. More of his taking pride of what is yours and hard work.

And.. I know, thread hogging, he taught me how to weld. I have used this skill in my art career.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

My dad literally kicked someone's ass for me because the guy was making me uncomfortable.

He didn't ask any questions, he just confirmed which guy it was and knocked him the fuck down. Kicked the guys ass, picked him up and drive him home.

I fear nothing when my dad is around. I have no question whatsoever that he would give his life for me. He's the sweetest, most sensitive man you'll ever meet, but fuck with him and he'll end world's.

I fucking love my dad.

He's never left me hanging. I've never been remotely disappointed in his fatherhood.

 

[Enid]

I admire a lot of things about my father. He guided me, taught me to be self-reliant and to use my brain. He taught me not to see the inconsequential differences between people that others freak out about. He took me camping and fostered my bibliophilia.

One of my favorite memories from my younger years is that when I took a world religion class and had to write a paper on an unfamiliar religion, he happily took me to a Hindu temple for a 5 am meditation/chanting session and then subsequent service & meal. In fact I think that was when he was first starting to suffer from colitis issues, and he took me anyway though he was uncomfortable.

Another fond memory is going to Roswell NM and visiting the International UFO museum. He made friends with some conspiracy nut who was also visiting and we had a very interesting meal at a local diner.

It's all the road trips and camping and rock & mineral hunting and bookshops and concerts he took me to (he took me to see LL Cool J and Beastie Boys amongst other fun concerts) that I really treasure, along with the values of intelligence, acceptance, love.

And though he's a Barry Goldwater conservative and I'm a Bernie Sanders liberal, we still laugh all the time and enjoy each other's company. Even when he's telling me where he keeps his gold and his guns and urging me to keep emergency space food in my pantry, I still love the old nutjob.

 

[LaFemme]

My dad and I had a very complicated relationship. It wasn’t good for a very long time. But as I grew older I really got to know him, understand him, appreciate him. I forgave him for a lot, even though he wasn’t capable of asking for it.

And when the chips were down, he was always there for me. Always. I miss him. He was my safety net. I don’t have that anymore. But, yeah, he was always there for me.

 

[EllieP]

The one thing my Dad didn't do that I wanted him to do was to make me a real ranch hand. Mum had a lot to say about that. She was determined to turn me into a "young lady." I don't know where I'd be today if I stayed on the ranch, but that was my dream.

He never kicked anybody's ass for me, but he not only gave me permission but urged me to do it. I knew he had my back if I needed him.

Dad actually tried to do too much for me. I was a single mom, and he so wanted me to move back in permanently. I found out he was padding my checking account, and we had it out. As it were they were giving me child care for free. I was determined to make it on my own.

Oh, I get my stubbornness from him as well.

Mum was the religious nut. Dad was a people man. He trusted a lot of people and knew who could and couldn't be trusted.

I think I get my good genes from him. He's going to be 77 this year, but he looks like he's in his early 50s. Handsome as hell! Think Sam Elliot without the mustache. Yep.

 

[deleted924715]

I suppose I wish he had been more present. Don't get me wrong he lived with us, he paid the utility bills, but that was pretty much it. We were so much closer to our mum. Plus we are very similar and clashed a lot.

I had friends who were "daddy's girl" and if they wanted anything they would always ask their dad first because they knew he wouldn't say no. I was in no way, shape or form a daddy's girl. I love him very much and our relationship is better now, but I've never asked him for anything and never would.

 

[MickeyLee]

My dad taught me to love music. Almost every memory I have of him comes with a soundtrack.

He made sure I played the fiddle as well as I played the violin. And, yes, big difference between the two.

He gave me my sense of humor. My Dad turned a joke out and could always come up with a punchline. Even when the situation was more tragedy than comedy.

 

[LaFemme]

My dad taught me to love music. Almost every memory I have of him comes with a soundtrack.

He made sure I played the fiddle as well as I played the violin. And, yes, big difference between the two.

He gave me my sense of humor. My Dad turned a joke out and could always come up with a punchline. Even when the situation was more tragedy than comedy.

I’m a lot like my dad. He was really funny, and I guess so am I; he was a great public speaker and so am I. He was a real fighter, never satisfied with the status quo, and neither am I. Both of us have a real dark side, something that needs to be battled constantly. We talked about that when I got older. We both have a strong sense of loyalty to family and both of us can be hurt by family so deeply.

I guess that’s why he had my back all the time. He really understood me in a way no one else did. That’s a real gift he gave me. I don’t think anyone has ever gotten me since he died.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

My dad recently turned 80.
He was an aerospace engineer who designed a heavily used fighter jet, and is now working on a theory in physics. He’s in the math to prove it stage. And he’s living with Parkinson’s. He taught fighter pilots in the mid and late 60s as an Air Force captain.

He’s the reason our family reveres education and hard work.
Even as I took the path of “not a STEM career”, he supported my goals. When journalism gave way to medical massage and owning my own business, he stayed supportive.

I have memories of swabbing dope on fabric to refurbish an airplane wing...at 4.
I learned how to change oil, on cars and motorcycles (his midlifeKawasaki).
I learned to fly.
He taught me to drive. Yes, I learned to drive from a fighter pilot trainer.
I am a grandma behind the wheel and have excellent defensive driving skills.
“Cheaters never prosper” and “quitters never win.”

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

You ladies reminded me, my dad is also the most talented guitar player I've ever seen in my life. Not "just saying that", if it wouldn't be a completely stupid thing to do I would totally post video proof. He taught himself.

When he's gone, I will feel him with every song, I will always be able to be with him in his music. He'll live on through that shit for a few generations.

 

[Betty_Cocker]

Reading through the responses really gives me warm fuzzies for everyone and I see a lot of similarities in our dads. My growing up years were difficult at best, but he taught me tons:

He taught me how to change oil in a car and how to change a tire.
He taught me how to throw a softball, pitch it in a bucket, and when I was on track at school, he would get out in the yard and coach me. (he was a good coach.)
He "let" met mow the grass with him (old school days... push type mower.)
He never hit a guy but I knew if one ever hit me, he was dead meat.
He ran a few guys off before they could knock on the door. (Looking back now, that was a good thing.)
He taught me a lot of values: Hard work, pride in a job well done (without bragging), and "winners never quit, and quitter's never win"

I guess the main thing he did for me was to make sure I knew (through it all, and there was a lot of "all of that") that I was loved. .

He is a tough old bird, mellowing in his old age. And like TNJ's dad, he also taught himself how to play guitar....he used to play and mom used to sing. He'll be around for generations to come even after he's long gone.

 

[286798]

My dad taught me many, many skills. To observe from a distance before making a judgement, the desire to work hard behind the scenes, and ability to stay calm in a crisis. I'm thankful that he taught me to not let my gender stop me from doing whatever I wanted to do, but to do it in a "oh, you think I can't? Ok, then... Just watch" way, not a "equal opportunity laws say you HAVE to" way. Again, that work hard behind the scenes thing. Although I am social and outgoing (I get that from my mom), I'm much like him. Neither one of us get to wrapped around the axle about much. Most things aren't worth the energy of getting upset. But if you cross me after getting fair warning or if hurt someone I love, I'll burn your fucking house down (so to speak). It doesn't happen often, but when someone sees that side of me, they usually say "Where the hell did that come from?" He's the same way.

For all you dads reading this... I wish my dad told me he loved me verbally a bit more when I was young. I always KNEW, but I didn't hear it often. He's made up for it as an adult, but I wish I had that reassurance (not just an assumption). I think it's made me a bit reserved in saying it as an adult. In most of my relationships, the guy has said it first. I think in some cases, that it becomes a challenge to get me to say it. They do whatever they need to do to get me to say it back and even the playing field... not out of the desire to be genuine and further the relationship. Not always, but sometimes... often enough to notice the trend. I'm sure it happens when the genders are reversed, but still. A man's ego can be a fragile thing.

 

[Taya]

Back in the days when we moved here, we were having a hard time setting up the house and adapting to life, though we had help from people from work. And I kept whining about it when my dad called, everyday. Once I told him that I wished he were here and he just continued the routine conversation.
The doorbell rang in the evening, I opened it and he was right there with a screwdriver in his hand. I can still remember my legs shaking visibly and I just jumped on him without a word.
There are too many things to mention where he did something almost ilpossible just because I wanted, but that one is so special because it was at a moment when I felt so helpless being so far away.