Damaged Souls

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by SassySpy, Dec 16, 2007.

  1. SassySpy

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    I have been mostly absent here for awhile, work, lovelife, and weather has kept me busy- but I still love you all I just have to organize my time better!:smile:

    anyway, I've also watched more films lately- and of course, the news. I find myself crying...A LOTAnd I wonder how many of you think about all the 'damaged souls' in our society?
    I see clips of 20 year old videos, happy kids, laughing goofing off so carefree;I see in my mind, myself as a child... full of laughter and hope and no thought of anything other than the greatness of 'today'. At least, that's how childhood usually begins...fast forward to youngsters on shooting rampages, rapists, pedophiles, and the oh so very many adults abused/molested as children who are forever sentenced to consequences of the experience. The ones who DON'T actually lose their sanity and commit one of these senseless crimes.
    I guess its just so damned sad, and I wish there were a way to stop it. A way to keep that happy child within us forever somehow, not be damaged and traumatized and lose our innocence so early, too early. I watch this stuff and wonder where does it end? where does the chain finally break, and stop another generation of damaged souls from being developed?
    Do you think it can ever happen? Aren't there so many damaged souls currently, who are aware of the pain, and want to let it stop with them?

    :sigh:

    Thanks for being 'my place' to vent my thoughts. I appreciate you. :kiss:
     
  2. Principessa

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    I have been concerned about these 'damaged souls' or 'walking wounded' in our society for years now. :frown1:

    I first became aware of just how wide spread the problem was in a previous career as outreach educator for a small museum. My territory was everything west of the Berkshire Mountains to the Pacific Ocean. My geography challenged boss called this the west and mid-west territories. :tongue::rolleyes: I taught plastics engineering and polymer chemistry to grades 2-12.

    Conservatives like to say we have lost a generation to drugs but thats not entirely true. We have lost two generations to permissive and submissve parents who are so busy chasing the almighty dollar they have forgotten how to parent their children.

    IMHO, If you fail as a parent nothing else you do matters. I don't care if you win the Nobel Peace Prize, have more money than Bill Gates, more cars than Jay Leno, and a home more organized and perfectly outfitted than Martha Stewart. If you rear a child who lacks basic human decency and the capacity to exhibit lovingkindness to others you have failed as a parent and you have failed society as a whole.
     
  3. SpeedoGuy

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    In threads like this I try to avoid simply giving advice and urging that it be followed so I'll put it like this:

    When I decided to stop regularly watching TV, particularly TV news, and become more selective about the quality of the films I view, I found my outlook on life becoming brighter and happier. There was a real change. That's not to say I'm indifferent to, or ignorant of, social problems but I found there was a point where I was feeling so bad about the many ills of this world that I had to unplug and draw back to regroup. For sheer self-preservation I had to stop wallowing in the celebration of crime, disaster, conflict, voyeurism, and other human pathologies that comprise pop TV culture.
     
  4. Principessa

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    SpeedoGuy brings up an excellet point. I get most of my news from internet news sites. I rarely if ever watch the tv news, though I do watch the weather, but I also get weather updates sent to my cell via AOL. Okay, I'm a geek, I like to know whats going on weatherwise :redface:.

     
  5. whatireallywant

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    I am one of the "damaged souls".

    Now, I'm not about to go on any shooting rampages, and I was not abused by my parents, or anything like that. My parents did the best they could, the only problems they really had with raising me had to do with their own health problems (my mom nearly died when I was 8 years old, and for many years after that she had chronic illness both physical and emotional).

    However, I was bullied by nearly EVERY other kid in my class in school, and by some of the teachers as well. And most of the other adults (including my relatives in extended family) would have taken THEIR side against me. Why? Because I did not conform to "tradtional sex roles". That was not the only reason I was bullied though. I entered first grade being the smallest kid in my class (I was 3'9" and weighed 35 lbs. at age 6), and (honestly not bragging here but just trying to illustrate) the most intelligent kid in my class.

    The bullying continued all through elementary school and high school, college, and my first few jobs. Only after I moved to a big city did it stop.

    I have trouble with jobs and relationships. I have only had one long-term relationship lasting over a year. I have only had one steady job, and have been fired from 6 jobs, three of these within the last 18 months. Part of this though is the corporate culture here - one of my friends here started his own business after being fired 4 times in one year, and I wouldn't consider him to be one of the "wounded souls".

    It will definitely end here. I do not have the emotional/mental ability to raise children, and knew this early on. I had a tubal ligation in 1996.
     
  6. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    It is very easy for us to diagnose or even put the blame at the feet of the parents. Sometimes it is the luck of the draw for parents. Many of the young men and women who have committed these crimes suffered from mental illness. Perhaps one this we could do is remove the "Snake pit" stigma from treatment of Mental illness. Yes there are things we can do to not exacerbate the onset of diabetes, heart disease etc. but often it is hte luck of the draw. It may be in the family history Similarly chemical imbalances run in families also. DO we ostrasize someone because they have great aunt Lulu in the family ? NO, but we should stop putting our heads under the sand when we see the early signs of disorders . Parents should be worked with not to see their child or spouse or sibling as a shameful secret but someone who can be helped and treated through therapy and medication. NO one wants to be depressed. Schizophrenic, Bi polar, etc. But for the Grace of God goes any one of us. Many of us may suffer from forms of these disorders as we speak.
     
  7. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    It is very easy for us to diagnose or even put the blame at the feet of the parents. Sometimes it is the luck of the draw for parents. Many of the young men and women who have committed these crimes suffered from mental illness. Perhaps one thing we could do is to remove the "Snake pit" stigma from treatment of Mental illness. Yes there are things we can do to not exacerbate the onset of diabetes, heart disease etc. but often it is hte luck of the draw. It may be in the family history Similarly chemical imbalances run in families also. DO we ostrasize someone because they have great aunt Lulu in the family ? NO, but we should stop putting our heads under the sand when we see the early signs of disorders . Parents should be worked with not to see their child or spouse or sibling as a shameful secret but someone who can be helped and treated through therapy and medication. NO one wants to be depressed. Schizophrenic, Bi polar, etc. But for the Grace of God goes any one of us. Many of us may suffer from forms of these disorders as we speak.
     
  8. viking1

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    I know, SassySpy, I am a damaged soul. I cry a lot too...
     
  9. SassySpy

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    you all made excellent points, including Naughty, believing hers so important it needed said twice! :tongue: (J/K, I know how that happens!)
    Yes, I have researched and found certainly an increase of aberrant behaviours in the decades since the 'nuclear family' became the exception rather than the norm. and you are right as well about avoiding watching these things- often overblown and dramatized for shock value... there's a lot more I DON'T read or watch, but I know its happening cos I also deal with it daily.
    I don't at all place blame actually, with anyone. Society as a whole could do well with some education and compassion, but I don't blame people for their fear and anger either.then I am just blaming someone for their ignorance. I just wish we could stop it, though I know it will not happen certainly in my lifetime- I hope I can leave this life knowing I did not perpetuate and carry on the pains/traumas I endured.
    Yes, dear Naughty, the guy shuffling down the street who is teased and ridiculed by strangers as he tries to quiet the voices in his head is as much a victim and a damaged soul as one who has been traumatized in other ways. Education of the masses couldn't hurt. That said, there is improvement in some areas.
    As a teen, when I first worked with people with disabilities, they were chained to posts in dayrooms, restrained as punishment, left to sleep in their own excrement, and many other horrific accepted practices. Today they have their own homes, and jobs, and human rights and are (usually) treated respectfully. Those changes were brought about by education, and changes in laws.
    okay, off the :soapbox: just needed a good venting today. Thanks for listening- and responding.:smile:

     
  10. unabear09

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    damaged soul here as well... i have gotten to the point (for my own sanity and mental well being) where i can hardly watch the national/international news any more. it just absolutely tares me up to see all of the violence and hatred in the world today. the ones that i feel truely sorry for are the kids that have grown up not knowing what a great planet this one can be. i am 25, and in my short life i can remember that there has always been bad/sad times in the world, but since (forgive me for mentioning this as i overall think that this reference is overused and abused) 9/11 things just seem to be rapidly spiraling down.

    i feel for the kids (lets say born between about 1996-present) these days because they dont know what it is like to not have to fear everything. growing up in the 80's-90's i never had the fears that these kids have. i never was afraid of being kidnapped, murdered, tortured, or raped. unfortunately i was a victim of abuse that ranged from psychological to sexual (see my thread searching for answers/meanings for further details http://www.lpsg.org/70546-searching-for-answers-meanings.html) from members of my own family (hence the damaged/wounded soul).

    i have gotten to the point that i cry (or just tear up) just about on a daily basis for the people of the world today. and as strange as it may sound, i also cry when i see the good in the world, the good deeds, kindness of strangers, etc. its a shame that i do so, for these good acts should be common place, and not rare occurances (or at least they should be reported by the media more often). unfortunately, we live in a world where negativity reigns and that is all we hear and see.

    i pray that things are going to change, and we, as citizens of the world, can one day love and appreciate each other not for our similarities, but for our many differences, and learn to live together in relative peace and harmony. una
     
  11. ZOS23xy

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    I see a number of you are trying to stay up to date with the news and what's going on in the world but not paying attention to your inner worth, and have become victims to "Information overload". Philip K. Dick described it in one of his books as "information sickness" in which a piece of news just upsets you to no good end.

    I try to meditate for about 45 minutes to an hour each day in order to keep my head straight. I care about the world as much as the previous posters have mentioned, but my sanity and my family come first. I do good deeds, recycle, feed my dogs, check in on my parents and write on this forum.
     
  12. Bbucko

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    Part of the healing process involves loving oneself because, not just in spite of, one's flaws.

    Sometimes the best one can hope for (speaking from experience here) is a gentle acceptance that the past shapes the present and future and live the best, most ethical life possible with the tools we possess, not those we might wish for but haven't the resources to develop.
     
  13. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I think about it all the time. That's why I'm going into Social Work. I can't just stand by any longer.
     
  14. Osiris

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    The broken souls are why I became a Knight of Columbus in the first place. Not out of faith, but because I want to help people heal.
     
  15. earllogjam

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    I think there are plenty of kids who are alienated and made to suffer in school. We all know them. It's the wierd kid who eats his lunch alone reading his book to cover his hurt and lonliness, the girl who is morbidly fat that is teased by all the other kids, the shy boy who is always the last to be chosen for the kickball team, the kid with the speech impediment that gets laughed at and never gets called to read out loud in class - all the ones other kids and teachers label as loosers. Is it really a suprise that most of these Colombine kids have a similar profile?

    Everbody needs to be loved and belong. It is a basic human need like water and food. Hatred is the by product of not getting those needs met, feeling wronged. It is either internalized or externalized, both are disasterous.

    What is the answer? I was unfortunately one of those misfit kids and my answer was having very loving neighbors that helped raise me because my parents were working much of the time. From a very early age during my rough school days they accepted me and loved me as one of their own and that made all the difference.
     
  16. D_Joseba_Guntertwat

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    I'm not sure what you mean by 'damaged soul'. Are you talking about the kids who have become criminals as they have got older? Or the people sitting at home watching sensationalist 24 hour news all day getting depressed?

    There's a lot of crap in the world, but you shouldn't feel bad about it. If you think about it too much, it would drive you crazy. There's a lot of goodness in the world too, why not focus on that instead?

    Remember, you only live once. And then you die, and that's the end. So cheer up before it's too late :D
     
  17. str82fcuk

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    the best way to stop bad things from happening is to stop pretending they don't happen
    kudos to you op
     
  18. whatireallywant

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    Yeah... I was one of the "misfits" too (see my post earlier). Probably my parents were the ones who kept me from doing something like the Columbine kids - I had the violent fantasies of revenge on the other kids, sometimes EXTREMELY graphic in nature, but did not act on them. However, my parents both had repeated illnesses (certainly not their fault) that sometimes interfered. My mom especially had her own emotional problems as well as physical illness (she nearly died when I was 8 years old). My neighbors were my grandparents, who treated my mom as less than their full children (my mom's father and stepmother, neither of whom raised her - she was raised by her grandparents), and were very religious right before you even really heard that term, and very sexist and so were on the side of the community against me. I lived out in the country, and there were no other neighbors I really ever came in contact with, and my parents were "keep to themselves" types, so they never really had friends over or anything like that.

    I'm improving now, living in a city has helped me a lot, and especially living in a city now with a more social culture than the city I lived in before (and even THAT city was better than when I lived in the country/small town). I still have a problem with shyness and have never really learned to "make conversation" like other people do. Plus I still have some rather unconventional views that I live in fear that people will hate me for. So mostly I just keep my mouth shut. THEN people complain about how quiet I am!

    I do best in social situations with a specific activity, such as hiking or team sports - however, I'm a much slower hiker than the other people I know, and never played much team sports growing up (those were considered "just for boys", although I always wanted to play), so never really developed any ability there. I like to play, but I don't like being griped at for being slow, not as good, etc.
     
  19. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Shit has haunted humanity since forever. It's human nature to remember times more fondly than they ever were and I hate to clue you but at no time anywhere has childhood ever meant to have been happy and carefree. Sure some people just get lucky but the vast majority don't. There have always been child molesters but to talk about it was not acceptable. You just lived with it. There have always been bullies, there have always been gangs, there have always been abusive parents. Imagine being a girl of 13 married off to an old man because your parents wanted a good match. Imagine being a 10 year old boy apprenticed to a man who buggered you under the stairs. Imagine looking out the window of your hovel to see thugs kill your parents and then take you hostage to be sold into slavery.

    NEVER has childhood meant to have been easy. It's a myth just like the myth of happy people like we see on TV. We're programmed by media to feel there's a deficit in our lives so we go out and buy products sold by advertisers. News is meant to get us so agitated and fearful that we become more compliant, letting fear subdue our logic and reason, so we follow "leaders" the media foists on us like Dr. Phil, Rush Limbaugh, and Oprah; precisely the same techniques used by Goebbels and every other totalitarian regime. Once CNN proved that TV news could be profitable if it was made to be dramatic then every news outlet in the US ditched their Murrow/Cronkite news format and told people that the only thing to fear is what they show them on TV. As a result we're a nation of paranoiacs who fear our neighbors, fear other nations, fear everything outside our little pod of information society which, ironically, only makes us crave more of the fear to verify we are justified in those fears. We're becoming a bunker society because we're too uneducated by our shitty school system and absentee parents to trust our own judgment.
     
  20. earllogjam

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    Hey, I've watched the Brady Bunch and listen to Bill O'Reilley. I know what's going on. Hell why bother thinking for myself when I can just be spoon fed the truth. :rolleyes:

    Well said Jason.
     
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