I have recently been wishing that my sex partner will be my boyfriend again. I have always loved him and he tells me he loves me in e-mails. This is the most pathetic relationship I have ever had. We don't have a normal relationship. I used to be in the hospital or going to the doctor or working and it was hard to get to see him. I tried to break it off altogether and I was sooo miserable. I have a terrible crush on him. So now I am actively wishing for him to fall in love with me for real. I feel that I met him as a result of witchcraft and I am not putting offerings out to the Goddess to try to win him because I believe that is black magic and strictly forbidden - so I just wish for him to be mine. I didn't put any spell on a particular person ,only asked for someone to be fascinated with. I wouldn't directly try to influence him using offerings or anything else . That's what I mean by black magic. I think I am going to have to find a Pagan forum. People around here have no idea of the meaning of consorts or anything Pagan. Maybe I should try to find someone sexually compatible and into the things I like. Does that really happen? I have always been so cynical about men. If you cannot understand what the point is please ask. If you have no constructive advise on how to organize the way I write then skip it. I am not here to be bashed. Unfortunately most people can't give much advise on relationships. They are such a mystery. Prior to this relationship if the guy didn't treat me the way I want I dropped him.I tried that with this one and it has dragged on for a year and a half.