Not long ago did I write a thread about the best sex that you will or can't ever experience. I wish I could make this short but it's a long story and I really apologize for that. Not sure if I should have posted in Women Issues or Relationships. My bf and I are swingers. About 4 months ago, I played with a gentleman who was massive... 11x7. The first time, I played with him, I was tied up and blindfolded and not allowed to touch, hear, or see him. We had sex for 4 hours. I was the best sex for him ever because this gentleman had dated women for months and even after 3 months, some of those women could only take 2-6 inches of his cock and that was after hours of foreplay. And some of those women could only handle his cock for 20 minutes to a hour. With me, within the hour, I took 6 inches of his cock and by hour 3, I took 8-9 inches of him, and still wanted more ! This fella and I played again about two weeks later. I was once again blindfolded and not allowed to touch. We only played for a hour because he had family emergency come up. But needless to say, a hour was not enough and left me wanting more. This is where the problem comes in... the sex was very much so affected between my bf and me. Because my expectations of sex had been raised by my playmate, sex was not the same between my bf and I. The sex between my bf and I changed. I still was tight, but did not easily get as wet and it took more to get me aroused. Before my playmate entered the picture, I got so soaking and dripping wet with my bf and then it just took a lot for me to get really wet. I wasn't as vocal and I kept thinking about my playmate. What didn't help with the situation was that the playmate said that because I was the best sex ever, he had fallen for me and wanted to date me. Also while I love my boyfriend, I had also somewhat fallen for my playmate. Needless to say, everyone's judgment was sexually clouded and nobody was thinking right except with their little head or box. My bf told me he didn't want me playing with the playmate anymore given that the playmate and I had only played twice. My bf found the playmate to be a threat as my playmate is very attractive, has a nice fit body and well...quite endowed. He told the playmate he didn't want him talking to me anymore. However, while I am not going to get sympathy for this at all... my playmate and I could not stop talking to each other because of this deep strong sexual attraction/ tension / chemistry that we have for each other. We tried not talking but we just found ourselves talking again on MSN. As I mentioned, the bf and I are swingers. There is this philosophy... Swinging is about meeting new people, and gaining new experiences then moving on. You don't stick around to see what will or might have been. You don't look back and wonder. However, there is just this fatal strong animalistic sexual attraction / chemistry / tension that my playmate and I share and we just feel that we have unfinished business. For the first two months, it was really tough for my bf and me. We had to really work at it, and when it came to sex, we had to reach into our bag of tricks and really communicate with each other. My bf basically made it clear that he would leave me if I went and had sex with my playmate again. The last two months, the sex has been great with my boyfriend. My bf has been pumping and gone from 7 inches in length to 7'3 (to 7'5 on a good day) and he has been noticably getting thicker in girth. (Proof that pumping does work) Now and then my boyfriend will use one of the replica cock that my playmate made for me. The toy is 11x7 and is quite fun to play with. Anyway, last week my bf used the toy on me and he loved the reactions I made to the big toy cock. I became louder and vocal. I was gushing and cumming like crazy and my skin became flushed. Two days ago, my boyfriend said he changed his mind about me and my playmate and said that we could play. He said he doesn't like it at all but said I could play. This is where I am confused... where does my bf go from saying no you can't play to now you can play? Believe me when he said that I could play, you would think I was jumping up and down and ready to break down my playmate's door. Instead, I became hesitant and somewhat suspicious about this. My bf said "You're a big girl. If you go have sex with him, it will change everything between you and I." Meaning that if I have sex with my playmate, the sex could ruin whatever future sex I have with my bf (or any other man) So.... what do I do? I can not deny this incredible raw animalistic sexual attraction / chemistry / tension that I share with my playmate. My playmate said likely that if he has sex with me, it could ruin sex for him with other women... However, I absolutely LOVE my boyfriend. We plan on moving in together at the end of the summer. If I have sex with my playmate, am I setting up myself for something worse than before? Should I just tell myself forget it and always wonder about the best sex I could ever have?