Date or Hanging Out

[nychild]

Recently I went to the movies with a friend of mine. i asked her out to the movies and dinner and never mentioned the word date or the term hanging out. She paid for the movie cause she jumped me in line. I paid for dinner and picked her up and dropped her off. All we did was flirt with each other the whole time. And when she wasn't flirting it seemed like she was quizzing me or testing me with what if type questions. Now my question is what does that make this night? Is it a date or hanging out? I'm confused about this one .. Is there a difference I should know about?

 

[canuck_pa]

Sounds to me like you were hanging out, but if you ask her out again it could be a date.

 

[nychild]

Oh I forgot to add that at the end of the night she invited me out on Saturday to meet her friends. The meeting was in a bar and I don't drink so i did my best to mingle. Before the night was over she was feeling on my arm and paying me compliments about how I looked.

I'm kinda on the ropes about where this is going because i've been down this road with her before and she insisted that we were just friends. But this doesn't seem like just friends, and now we are supposed to go out again and i'm not sure about how I should approach it. Input Please

 

[deleted405852]

I've been there bud, just ask her.
I go out to lunch and dinner with girl friends of mine and sometimes I have to ask what we're doing, and you'd be surprised the number of times I thought we were just hanging out and they'd say, "I thought we were having a lunch date" or "I'm having fun, I needed this date". Sometime you may think of it as one thing and it means something more (or maybe less) to them.

 

[luvmycock]

wow, talk about story of my life! the same thing happened to me. this girl and I hung out a few times (movies, bar, dinner) and we are just kind of stuck in this funky place. I think we were just hanging out because I expressed my feelings for her but they were not reciprocated. (fucking sucks) but anyway I would ask her how she feels about you truly and find out if they were dates or if you guys were just hanging out.

best of luck

 

[Wish-4-8]

The best way to answer this is to know what you want out of this. This part is unclear. See, it doesnt matter what you call it. The two of you went out. She is comfy with you, period. Alcohol in the system will loosen her up and make her more frisky. That is what you saw.

You mentioned something about going down this road ending in a friends thing. Think about what you do when you hang out with a guy friend. Who pays for what and is it ever an issue?

So, my conclusion is that this really is nothing more than hanging out, because you already had that conversation. And hanging out with a girl liquored up, well, see that for what that is.

 

[JustAverage]

Haha, that was like reading one night of my biography. Same exact thing happened to me months ago. No defining words used, lots of flirting, she jumped me in line to pay for one thing after I'd paid for another. The only difference if we hooked up one night previously. As of now, we remain just friends again. I still don't know exactly what that night was, but I think it's the follow up that matters.

 

[TheRob]

I had a similar deal go down with a female friend
I figured it was a date she said it was a 'hangout' I had never heard hangout used as a description, just a gamelplan
I was trying to figure out why it was one thing and not the other, she tried to explain it to me but really most of her explination was the phrase "ya know what I mean" which I didn't cus if I did I wouldn't have been getting an explination from her so it didn't really get us anywhere
I had a good time tho

 

[lopo2000]

Do you get a romantic vibe from this girl? If you do, then there is a chance she's expecting it to be a date. If she's treating you like she's treating other friends, it's more likely to be a hang out kind of thing. I hope this helps.

 

[nychild]

Thanks for the input everyone. A lot has happened since I started this thread.

i called her and asked her out on Monday. We were supposed to go to get some frozen yogurt and go for a walk on Wednesday. but she had a conflict with grad classes so we decided on another day. Since then we have flirted via text.. well up until about 6 today. She basically asked me if i like her ( not in those exact words.. she likes to speak in riddles). So I figured WTF and said ya i like u, I find u attractive and i'm interested.. LOL no answer

 

[Wish-4-8]

Because she is playing games. You should have turned it around and said, "I like you as a friend, i like hanging out with you. Why, do you mean something else?"

See, that shoots the game right back at her.

 

[luvmycock]

Thanks for the input everyone. A lot has happened since I started this thread.

i called her and asked her out on Monday. We were supposed to go to get some frozen yogurt and go for a walk on Wednesday. but she had a conflict with grad classes so we decided on another day. Since then we have flirted via text.. well up until about 6 today. She basically asked me if i like her ( not in those exact words.. she likes to speak in riddles). So I figured WTF and said ya i like u, I find u attractive and i'm interested.. LOL no answer

DAMN it's like you are in my shoes! The same happened to me.

 

[nychild]

Well thanks for the help everyone. I talked to her and told her how I felt. We had a long convo and she gave me some bull about not getting involved with friends because she had a bad experience in the past. So I just left it as is, if she just wants to be friends then whatever. I know I'm not a super model but I'm not gonna beg someone for a date. She honestly seemed confused about the whole thing like she didn't know what to say. But I don't feel bad about the outcome.. I was so terrified about the idea of rejection and now are bring turned away it just kinda like ok no biggie.

 

[TheRob]

most women do like to speak in riddles

 

[someotherguy]

What's important is that you told her how you felt. It's better to lay it all out and see what happens instead of always asking yourself, "what if?".