Dating A Pilot

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by hoon8719, Mar 21, 2011.

  1. hoon8719

    hoon8719 Member

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    I'm seeing someone lately. He is the greatest guy I have ever dated, but he is a pilot and is gone 4 days a week. Even though he calls me a lot and tries to make me feel comfortable with his job, I still find myself sad a lot when he is gone. I am 25, he is 30, and I dont know if I should stay in the relationship because It is also hard because I never know who he is with or the hotels he is at. I'm worried our relationship is more likely to fail becasue of his job. I don't want to stay with him another 2 or 3 years only to end up in a break-up. I wanted to know if anyone has any advice or personal experience with this?
     
  2. canuck_pa

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    Sounds like a trust issue. Do you have reason not to trust him? Or is it your own insecurities?
     
  3. irox19

    irox19 New Member

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    Doesn't sound worth the heartache.
     
  4. hoon8719

    hoon8719 Member

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    my ex cheated on me, after that I'm kinda hard to trust with.. and my bf's job is like away always.
     
  5. Sharpone

    Sharpone New Member

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    Personally I would enjoy the break from someone being there constantly and I am more likely to appreciate the time I have with someone when they are with me.

    I'm guessing, but there might be two issues here. Firstly, I haven't known a married/partnered couple where one person hasn't 'cheated' on the other. I think this is a reality in life that people don't like to face and tend to create the illusion for denial purposes. It's understandable because most people base their relationships on fidelity, but it is an illusion none the less. An open discussion about protection and emotional involvement might help clear the air.

    Secondly, are you comfortable living without a relationship? Life is so much easier when you have a partner to share it with. However, things are so unstable here and can change in a flash. My general feeling is that it is most important to be independent and enjoy a relationship rather than be dependent and worry about whether it will last or not. Or worse yet, stay in a bad relationship just to be in a relationship.

    IT might also help to hear from a pilot or steward/stewardess as to what really happens on those overnight stays...if anything.
     
  6. hoon8719

    hoon8719 Member

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    Thanks dude =)
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    You can't judge this guy by how someone else cheated on you. He has a job that takes him away from you; plain and simple you have trust and insecurity issues.
    If he is trying to help you feel comfortable with his job and his absences then you need to work on your issues about trust and abandonment by learning to trust him and then yourself. Did you ever consider that he might have similar feelings about you when he is away? Talk to him about it.
    My partner and I spent the first year of our relationship living in different cities and saw each other about 10 times over that period. We made up for the lost time when we were together. After we moved in together we spent most of the next two years with me in town about 10-12 days a month. Currently we spend about half of our time in different cities. It's not easy but for the right person you learn to make allowances to make things work when you are together and when you are apart.
    I know it's difficult so good luck sorting it out with him.
     
  8. iron_mike

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    With an ass like that bro...I dont think you have to worry about him straying. Id be looking forward to hitting that all the time. Where in NY may I ask? im upstate in Albany.
     
  9. fun30013

    fun30013 Member

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    My Partner is an airline pilot and we have been together for over 10 years. The first thing is total trust. We have 100% trust so the issue of his travel has never been one for us.

    Keep in mind that as he builds seniority he will be able to hold a better schedule(s) then he does as a junior. The airline industry is all about seniority! At the moment and God knows it is subject to change monthly. My Partner leaves on Monday and returns the following Saturday and then is off for a week.

    Maybe because we know no other lifestyle we are very okay with this. Like another poster stated the "break" is very nice - so we appreciate the time we spend together when he is off a week. I know when he is on vacation I am very ready for him to go back to work so I can have some "me" time.

    I too have been hurt in the past by infidelity, but when you have a good match and you know you have a good thing - you nor he will do anything to jeopardize your relationship.

    The bottom line is trust - you have to trust him and he has to trust you. Please don't throw away what could be a life partner because of experiences in the past. It is not fair to him nor you. If he wants to be with you - you have to trust him till you have a reason not too.

    Good luck to you!
     
    #9 fun30013, Mar 24, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2011
  10. hoon8719

    hoon8719 Member

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    I'm in New York City.
     
  11. hoon8719

    hoon8719 Member

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    Thank you so much for help ;) I'll try like that way. thanks again! hug!
     
  12. hoon8719

    hoon8719 Member

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    Thanks ;)
     
  13. arthur

    arthur New Member

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    Glad you asked this. I am currenlty dating a senior member of cabin crew. And thanks to his cheating ex boyfriends he is asking the same questions of me. What am I doing while he is away? Any relationship is about trust and communication. Got to meet each other half way.
     
  14. D_Harry Bacque

    D_Harry Bacque New Member

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    Your ex sounds like a real asshole =)
     
  15. stustu

    stustu Active Member

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    All relationships are challenging- Plain & Simple. But, if you have a wonderful time together and believe in your future together life can be great. I was in a relationship for 10 years, alone for 10 years and now celebrating 10 years with my BF(husband - married in California)

    Each exprience has made me better - sometimes hurt - but always better.
    Monogamy is a gift I give myself first and my partner second. I know I am true - that's enough! But I also trust him to give himself the same gift.
     
  16. hoon8719

    hoon8719 Member

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    haha I guess ;P
     
  17. D_Sal_Manilla

    D_Sal_Manilla Account Disabled

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    OMG! Lucky. this sounds so romantic! i say stay with him if you haven't split yet.

    ugh. I'm jealous. like i said this sounds so romantic.

    waiting for your man at the airport.
    mile high club.
    and other shenanigans like that.
     
  18. martin60018

    martin60018 Member

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    would it really matter if he had some fun on the side? as long as he comes home to you
    all men are dogs!
     
  19. D_Sal_Manilla

    D_Sal_Manilla Account Disabled

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    your horrible. he wants a relationship not a fuck buddy and he ex cheated on him... so i doubt that he would be open to the idea.
     
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