Dating Against Your Type, Yes or No?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Fiona_Farvel, Nov 3, 2008.

  1. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Trying to figure out how influential "type" is in dating choices.

    I like...

    Physically: Dark hair. A hairy chest. Deep, sexy voice. *Dimples* (I have no idea why--hate I have them, love when men do. I literally melt when a cute guy with dimples smiles. :08:). A big guy.

    Other: Accent (especially Southern U.S. and French), Uniforms (Police, EMT/ Paramedic, Military--I met each of my uniform wearing exs while they were on duty. :smile:). Good conversationalist.


    Last five guys I've been romantic with--not including random humps. :wink:

    All dark hair, brown or hazel eyes
    1 EMT, 1 Cop, 1 Marine, (each on duty when we met) 1 Attorney and 1 Other (but extremely smart.)
    All hairy chests
    All deep voices
    3 had dimples
    All accented (Staten Island, Upstate NY, Mass/GA/CA hybrid, NJ, Greek)
    All really intelligent and knowledgeable

    Obviously, I enjoy dating people with certain characteristics. However, in trying to make changes, I've gone out on a few dates recently, and realized that if the guy doesn't fit my type, there's almost no attraction on my end. :confused:

    Is it possible to date against type?

     
  2. Principessa

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    Yes, but only if you want to and are open to new things. Physically, my current beau is a bit different from the last few guys I have been with and I was still very attracted to him. I guess his being cute, funny, sexy, intelligent, a cowboy, etc. over rode my previously imagined type.
     
  3. D_Chocho_Lippz

    D_Chocho_Lippz Account Disabled

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    If you know what you like and what turns you on, why try to go against what you already have discovered?
     
  4. D_Chocho_Lippz

    D_Chocho_Lippz Account Disabled

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    Oh and it sounds like I am not your type. :biggrin1:

    Dark Hair: Yes
    Hairy Chest: Not at all
    Deep Voice: Yes, very
    Dimples: Nope.
    Accent: I had a midwestern/country accent, but it only slips out once in a while. How about a minor occasional speech impediment? :tongue:
    Intelligent: I'd like to think so...
    Big Body: Not at all
     
  5. blar

    blar New Member

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    sure it is sometimes someone pops out of nowhere and sweeps you off your feet


    this changes your propective on things


    I love it when this happens to me :eek:
     
  6. invisibleman

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    Oh, dayum. I guess we had better stay away from each other. We would be "UFC MMA Matrix running up walls fightin'" beyotches, eh? :wink::smile: I will give you the ones with the dimples if you trade me the ones with cleft chins, okay? :smile: Deal?
     
  7. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

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    I usually date against my physical "type".

    In my head, I like longish dark hair, bright eyes especially green, not pale (naturally), a brooding look, around my height (5'11), less body hair and slightly feminine features (even when male). Think Chris Cornell or Gael Garcia Bernal.

    Female interests often fit the above, but with guys I almost always end up with pale, lanky blondes or short, athletic blondes. Living in Scandinavia now might have something to do with it. I think it's easier to date against physical ideals than it is personality traits, I can find someone completely opposite of the above characteristics very attractive, but without the right personality there's just no interest.
     
  8. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Congrats! I know you are right. :wink:

    Hush. :)
    Someone like you may not create an instant attraction, unless you have a uniform :naughty:. But you are attractive, seem cool, and smart, so I should be as open to you. Patience, I'm working on this bit. :smile:


    Does this happen? :)
    I've been floored when finding out someone is in love with me, but never 'swept' of my feet in 'all consuming love'... but I'm open. :biggrin1:

    Deal! But stay away from the attorney (dimples and cleft), I need him for Mets tickets.:tongue:
     
  9. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Did something influence your decision to date against type, or was it a natural evolution of your tastes?
     
  10. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

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    I think the biggest factor was honestly moving to Scandinavia, where there aren't so many people fitting my physicial type preferences. When I lived in the US, my partners were mostly part hispanic, Lebanese or SE European (not on purpose, it just happened that way) and fit the type. In Scotland, there were also more people fitting the type. In Sweden and Norway, not really as common. My tastes haven't actually changed, just went out of stock, and I have gone with personality attraction over eye candy.

    That said, my partner is Scottish, and still lanky, pale, and platinum blonde :smile: but I find him very attractive.
     
  11. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Thanks, Tristessa!

    I've decided to open up to those not my type... someone gave me some great advice this morning and I'm taking it. :)
     
  12. exwhyzee

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    Interesting post. My "type" keeps changing. When I was a younger I liked blonds. Then I dated a blond and got over that. So my "type" remains pretty fluid, which I find interesting. Recently, I was pretty open minded, until a certain someone captured my attention and imagination. :cool:

    Has anyone else experienced "type shifting"?
     
  13. Not_Punny

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    I think the most beautiful males are red heads or strawberry blonds with colored skin (tan,freckles, doesn't matter -- just not too pale) and clear blue, aqua, green or amber eyes.

    However, I have never dated one.

    The three guys I've been with the longest all had hazel eyes, olive skin, tall, muscular with brown hair, so I guess that's my type.

    My FBs, however, are all over the map, So, if my three LTRs hadn't all had the same coloring, I would have said that I didn't have a type.

    For me, it's the animal magnetism... not the coloring.
     
  14. DGirl

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    I am kind of strange when I like guys..."
    I like Snoop Dog (Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr)..

    Clay Aiken ( yes he is GAY) really Clayton Holmes Grissom before he legally changed his last name from Grissom to Aiken.


    Need I go on?

    I like ALL types of MEN.

    I hate when some of the NEW people that I become friends with think that I only like Asian men. All because I married a Asian man. If only they knew who I dated in the past lol!! My bestfriend knows all about that. She just knows that I like them ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!:biggrin1:
     
  15. D_Marazion Analdouche

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    I don't have a "singular type" when it comes to being physically attracted to someone. It's more of a broad genre if you will :p

    What I mean by that almost every women I've been involved with in one way or another is either pure or some combo of Mediterranean, Latino or African American. I women with dark haired, olive skinned (or darker) brown eyed and curvy. I don't even remember ever dating a blonde, maybe once in Junior High School, frankly I can't even remember ever sleeping with one even as a fling. I've been spoiled I guess always living around Metro areas and having that luxury. My girlfriend's father was from Cape Verde. The ex-wife was Portuguese etc etc.....

    Curves are a must though, if you weigh under 130 pounds regardless of height, then keep on walking heh. I don't find super models attractive, I would always be trying to force a cheeseburger down their throats. I like to be able to grab onto a woman and not feel like she may break.

    From a personality standpoint, it's pretty simple. Be motivated, I don't care what you're career is, just strive to be the best at you can be at that job. Have hobbies other than shopping, be educated beyond what's on TV. If your favorite thing to do in life is watch reality TV, keep on walking. You don't have to have the world's best eduation, but be intellegent and well rounded. Have a sense of humor, don't be afraid to laugh at dirty jokes because "it's not proper". Don't be afraid to try new things regardless if it's food, or a sport you've never played.

    We only have so many years of breathing time, I don't want to be bored.

    I think I have less of a type than I do an ideal lol.
     
  16. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I love all men, too! But have to admit, I'm really drawn to certain traits, and when meeting a guy who is different, I usually have to get to know him before I start thinking of him as desirable. :smile:



    So cute!
    I agree, it is a combination of the mental, physical, and other, that makes someone attractive. :hug:
     
  17. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    As you can see from my gallery, I like all sorts of men... But the reality is that only a few minutes after meeting someone you cease to see the physical and the mental and spiritual take over. I am not going to lie I have to be attracted to the person but it is their personality and spiritual qualities that tend to make things last...
     
  18. DGirl

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    True to what both of you said.." I meet HOT men every single day.." But, what is on the inside matters.." That is why I am with my HOT HUBBY.." He was so stuck up when we first met..." He was so into school and nothing else.." He is very picky also.." The chick can't smoke, can't be FAT, can't be too tall!! UGH!!!!!!
    I am still shocked that we are together!!!!!!!!:eek: How in the world did I get passed all of his DON'TS???????
    But, yes ladies the guys have to be worthy on the inside.." But, I LOVE a pretty outside!!!:redface:
     
  19. solinvictus

    solinvictus New Member

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    hmm, i was actually thinking about this the other day. i dont actively persue a specific type of girl, but every single girl ive dated has fit a very specific mold. almost to the point where people who have known me for a while can pick the girl im dating out of a crowd without anyone saying a word about it (this actually happened last summer, it freaked me out).

    i really want to break this pattern but its a lot harder than it sounds.

    im about 5'9", very athletic build medium length blonde hair and sharp facial features, usually compared to owen wilson. i always end up with girls that are ~5'2", 100lbs, athletes of some sort, brunette, brilliant and crazy but hides it well
     
  20. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    girl, it's always possible to date against your type. it's what keeps the balance in life. to you, there is someone who is completely opposite. chances are when you find him, sparks will fly! believe me :cool:

    aaaaand... i wanted to comment that we have similiar taste, lol. big dark haired men with sexy dimples and deep voices... ooohhhhhhh la la! yum yum! :biggrin:
     
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