dating an unemployment.

dolfette

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Also, I would not like to have a stay at home mom, part-time or something like that is fine. Maybe when my child is still a very small baby, she can stay home if she likes. But in the end I would not like to share my life with somebody who likes staying 'at home' for a long time.
i'm the opposite way.
i would not have kids with a person who wasn't willing to have one of us be a full time parent until the kid started school.

(it's a tangent, but i firmly believe that my kids are best raised by their parents and not left with strangers until they are old enough to tell me exactly what has happened while they were away from me.

there was a recent case that strengthened my opinion.
Plymouth nursery Little Teds Child Day Care Unit Laira shut down in child porn probe as Vanessa George, employee, is arrested | This is Plymouth

i don't judge parents who choose to use childcare though.)
 

D_Harry_Pitz

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i'm the opposite way.
i would not have kids with a person who wasn't willing to have one of us be a full time parent until the kid started school.

(it's a tangent, but i firmly believe that my kids are best raised by their parents and not left with strangers until they are old enough to tell me exactly what has happened while they were away from me.

there was a recent case that strengthened my opinion.
Plymouth nursery Little Teds Child Day Care Unit Laira shut down in child porn probe as Vanessa George, employee, is arrested | This is Plymouth

i don't judge parents who choose to use childcare though.)


True. I a while back I had a discussion about this with some friends. We came up with the solution: Every day of the week someone else of us is the babysit. So that would mean that you have to stay home only about once a month. As an added bonus this way, my children will befriend my friends children. But when the moment is there it will probably work out totally different. Also, there are always grandparents to help out when needed.
 

dolfette

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True. I a while back I had a discussion about this with some friends. We came up with the solution: Every day of the week someone else of us is the babysit. So that would mean that you have to stay home only about once a month. As an added bonus this way, my children will befriend my friends children. But when the moment is there it will probably work out totally different. Also, there are always grandparents to help out when needed.
lol, i'm guessing you have minimal experience of childcare, especially with multiple children.

you'd be better off with one of you getting a job in a nursery in order to keep an eye on your collective offspring.
 

rtg

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I'm happy for you that it worked out that way. But as episcopalian pointed out, it's not always that simple.
I've got a very good friend who was working very very very hard for a fashion company, which she loved. But her bosses were taking advantage of her. She told me the story of one of her bosses, and it sounded like that woman (the boss) just got very lucky. She doesn't have any skill, which is why my friend had to do her job, but she didn't get paid better. Even her overtime didn't get paid. This boss got to where she is by pure chance. It is not always as simple as "work hard and live will be good to you".

Not to mention the people that just don't get any chances, I'm sure you can think of some without my help ;)

Yes, I agree...which is why I said "I guess I'm lucky enough to have chosen something to study that I really enjoyed (and am passionate about) and was able to get the job that I wanted as well".
 

rtg

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Most of the unemployed people have university degrees

would love to see your documentation, i believe your statement to be wildly, and i mean wildly, untrue.

Lol agreed.

In my previous job I would write social-economic impact assessments, which involved analysis of census data...I can tell you, that in Australia at least, this is not true at all :)
 

D_Harry_Pitz

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lol, i'm guessing you have minimal experience of childcare, especially with multiple children.

you'd be better off with one of you getting a job in a nursery in order to keep an eye on your collective offspring.

With babies, almost no experience. But you will be surprised to know that I have a lot of experience with kids ranging from 2 to 12 years old. I used to be monitor (no idea how you call this in english) in holiday camps. We would be with 4 or 5 adolescents or young adults taking care of 25 to 30 specimens.
And yes, when they are very small it is the most exhausting, wiping butts and changing diapers. Not to mention the mommies boys that cling on to your legs.
But I know it is manageable.
 

D_Harry_Pitz

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Yes, I agree...which is why I said "I guess I'm lucky enough to have chosen something to study that I really enjoyed (and am passionate about) and was able to get the job that I wanted as well".

It just felt like you were a little judgmental about people that lack motivation in their job. So I wanted to point out that sometimes there might be a good reason for that.
But I do agree on your overall viewpoint
 

Ldnn

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"[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+1]Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way." - Homer Simpson

Edit (because I don't feel I expressed myself properly).

For me, it would have to come down to whether this is a temporary situation or a long term choice. Obviously health issues precluding work is one thing, but choosing to not work as a lifestyle choice would be something which is limiting in a long term relationship. Especially, from a financial perspective, as you come to old age and rely on pensions or assets more heavily versus direct employment income. Due to the amount of someone's life they can expect to be pensioned right now (perhaps a third to a quarter right now), this is a lot of years where that income, and hence you both working, has significance.

If you look at short term relationships it doesn't bother me, but does become a little imbalanced when you're booking skiing holidays and going sight seeing in Japan while they arn't making their rent. Dependency is never good, especially so if you're talking about men due to socially constructed expectations of provision.
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deleted157868

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People who refuse to work but consider themselves "unemployed" and receive the benefits of that term are a big thing that is killing our economy.

If you are not willing to work, you're not unemployed. You have to be in the market for a job to be unemployed.

Sorry for the derail, it's just a big pet peeve of mine, lol
 

Bravo55

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I fully agree that children are best raised by a full time parent. It can be either the mother or father. This is how we raised our children. Just my two cents...
 

B_jeepguy2

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there are a lot of very shallow people out there who mainly judge people by where they live, what they do for a living, what kind of car they drive, and the label on the clothes they wear. If there is a problem in any of these departments it can be a deal breaker for them.

For example a guy can have a great job, an awesome car, and wear stylish clothes and have plenty of money...but if he is over 25 and still lives with his parents it is a dealbreaker for many women who will immediately label him a "mama's boy". (My sister rejected a Medical doctor she dated for this very reason. )

I know for a fact that some people think I am a complete loser because I haven't held a job in over two years. The truth of the matter is that unlike most people I really do not really NEED to work for a living anymore. I am single and lived frugally and invested wisely during the 11 years that I held full time employment at a better than average salary and now I am in a positon where I don't have to put up with the rat race anymore.

Sure a career that I enjoyed and did something that I felt good about would be nice but I am not going to settle for just any job just so I can rejoin the workforce. I also refuse to relocate to another part of the country because I really like my beachfront home. So far every employer I have interviewed seems to want me to start at the bottom rung and work my way back up the corporate ladder at their company even though I have a MS degree and over a decade of executive experience. Nobody wants to pay me anything close to my former salary either.

I have basicly said FUCK IT and decided that I will just chill until the economy picks up because I own my home free and clear (inherited it) so I have no mortgage, my car and my boat are both paid for, and my investment portfolio provides me with more than enough income to live comfortably on. If a headhunter sees my Linked-in profile and contacts me with a great employment opportunity in my area I will talk to them but I am not agressively seeking work anymore.

Occasionally I get snide remarks from friends and certain members of my family about being a "man of leasure". At first it bothered me but it really doesn't anymore. ROFL
 
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