Dating Decorum: How do you figure out how it works in a new area?

[Mr. Snakey]

Uh yeah... you know betta! LOL!

Word bond.:smile::wink: In all candor i was just in New York. The first time in years. I had the city on my mind.

 

[str82fcuk]

Well I just noticed this thread ... and seeing as you quoted me I thought I should say something at least :smile:

I can relate a bit to your experience njqt466 altho' moving from New Jersey to Georgia might be even more of a culture shock than moving from Jo'burg to Canada (altho' perhaps I dont know what I'm talking about since I've never been to Georgia)

The place I come from used to be called the 'little apple' because it was founded by people from New York and it is the center of a very busy metropolitan area of about ten million people, so I always prided myself on being urbane and cosmopolitan and sophisticated in contrast to the people in the rest of the country (or in the suburbs) ... so anyway I think there are less than a dozen cities in North America that are that big ... and I of course would hate to admit to feeling like I was in an overgrown town when living in Canada's biggest cities especially when I've always had such a hangup and so much embarrassment about the contry I was born and raised in ... :redface:

on the other hand as much as I love New York (and New Jersey) and the New York attitude I have to admit that I can be a little overwhelmed by that kind of shockingly cocky outspoken directness ... still I do think tnat I could feel at home there if I moved there ...

anyway the biggest difficulty for me was figuring out who was gay ... My gaydar just didnt work anymore and it took ten years to get back online. It seemed to me that the guys here were all much less macho and the girls and the gays were all much more butch so I was totally confused and kept trying to chat up straight guys aaahhhh

of course moving to a province where english is not an official language didnt make it any easier, but at least I knew people were speaking a different language whereas when I moved to Toronto it took me years to figure out that so many of the most basic common ordinary words and phrases in the english language just do not mean the same thing here, which is in some ways even more frustrating - so back to Montreal where I have now learnt he language sufficiently well to get by ...

even more than words, however, the most common gestures and facial expressions do not mean the same things in different cultures either (and new york, toronto, montreal, and atlanta all have different cultures just by virtue of being different places, and then individuals have other cultural differences on top of that)

anyway ... dating and decorum ... well everything here is just so completely different but in such a seemingly similar way that .... well I really can't explain it now that I think about it but I did eventually start noticing a bit of how things are done around here and so I adapted myself accordingly but I will actually have to reflect on your question further before being able to give any kind of coherent explanation on what has really changed ...

Nice thread topic btw :tongue:

 

[earllogjam]

How do you know if a person is just being nice or is genuinely interested in dating you?

Universal question for all single folks. A: You don't unless you get to know the person a bit better. Within the first few minutes of friendly chatter, if the person IS interested in you there will usually be a comment about their dating availability slipped in or a kind word about meeting again.

If you are interested but don't know just be friendly back and slip in a comment like "Yeah, I just moved down here by myself a few months ago and..." Bait that hook and wait for a bite.

People who like you that way tend to hold your gaze a bit longer than usual. Rings on fingers are also good clues.

Good Luck NJ.

 

[DocHolliday]

How do you know if a person is just being nice or is genuinely interested in dating you?

Universal question for all single folks. A: You don't unless you get to know the person a bit better. Within the first few minutes of friendly chatter, if the person IS interested in you there will usually be a comment about their dating availability slipped in or a kind word about meeting again.

If you are interested but don't know just be friendly back and slip in a comment like "Yeah, I just moved down here by myself a few months ago and..." Bait that hook and wait for a bite.

People who like you that way tend to hold your gaze a bit longer than usual. Rings on fingers are also good clues.

Good Luck NJ.

I like Earl's answer.

I find that women tend to communicate with body language more than words, so I look for nonverbal cues.

To that point, here's a great article from iVillage:
18 Body Language Cues That Say He's Interested - Definitely

and a similar thread at LoveShack:
How to tell if someone is interested in you

Happy hunting, NJ!

 

[Principessa]

Str8cfcuk has brought up an excellent point in his most recent

thread.

Two Questions:
1) How can I tell when a Southern man is interested in me and not just being polite?
2) When you are new to an area how do you figure out the dating decorum? If I don’t get some big white boy cock soon, I’m gonna have to do a road trip back to the Garden State and hit up one of my guido guys! njqt466

Interesting thread. When I spent some time in L.A. in my first trip out of the Midwest earlier this year, I had the most baffling time with both girls AND guys. It's just...a whole different animal. I couldn't get the hang of how it works there.

Hmmm, I wish I could say I'm glad to know I'm not the only one to experience this; but then a gain I'm not the type who believes that misery loves company.

You could always go on Craigslist (that's DOT com by the way) and ask how to meet men in your area. Or you could just be blunt and say that you're a "SBF looking for a SWM". I've done both with no luck. :redface::frown1:

For me? I'm really into large breasted women who are loose. Loose meaning slutty, or loose meaning a stretched out bucket cunt? I lucked out a few times by hanging out at the bra shops and the abortion clinics. Just kidding!

It's wrong that I laughed at that last part isn't it? :redface::tongue::frown1:

Sweetheart,

I think Uncut means that people can smell when someone is dissatisfied with themselves. Putting yourself in the way of meeting people is one thing but allowing the pursuit of the one to be the driving force along the way to a fulfilling life is another.

Ahhh, gotcha! It's not my driving force to a fulfilling life. Though I can see how it may seem that way. I guess I let my horniness overwhelm my good sense when I responded to his post.

 

[Love-it]

Two Questions:
1) How can I tell when a Southern man is interested in me and not just being polite?
2) When you are new to an area how do you figure out the dating decorum?
3) The above would be even more difficult if a person was returning to the dating scene after the end of a long relationship. How would a person go about dealing with all of that?


Quote:
Originally Posted by uncut

It's when you stop looking that you find someone.


You know I love you babe; but if one more person trys to sell me that old chestnut I am going to scream like a banshee! :aargh4:It has been my experience that, that is just bullshit. :suspect:
My experience tells me differently. I did not have sex until I was 25, women didn't seem to be interested and I was clumsy, insecure and self-conscious which wasn't helping. I met a girl who was as confused as I was and had sex for the first time, finally! After that I was more relaxed about sex and life, after that it was easier for me to talk tp and be around women and I believe that is the only reason that I was able to make an impression on my future wife a few months later.

Having your true love, the one, soul mate, whatever just fall into your lap is a very rare thing. I don't know anyone in real life for whom that has happend, so excuse me for being so skeptical.
My wife didn't literally fall into my lap, but the first time I met her she was sitting on a log in a meadow, she was backpacking with her boyfriend, we spent about a month in the same area, all of us went on hikes, did some fence work and we brought in extra food so that we could eat together. Two years later, after marrying the guy, she came back into the front country of the wilderness area and looked me up, within hours we knew we were in love. We have been together for over 33 years. I don't know if our story exactly meets your criteria or not but it sure worked for us.

 

[Ed69]

I don't know if our story exactly meets your criteria or not but it sure worked for us.

It works for me and my wife also!I met her almost 17 years back,I new when I spoke to her she was the one and I don't regret it today.:smile:

 

[Principessa]

Two Questions:
1) How can I tell when a Southern man is interested in me and not just being polite?
2) When you are new to an area how do you figure out the dating decorum?
3) The above would be even more difficult if a person was returning to the dating scene after the end of a long relationship. How would a person go about dealing with all of that?

Probably the same way I am; with enthusiasm, trepidation and a smidge of ineptness.:tongue:

 

[B_cigarbabe]

I tend to always be, very direct about these things.I don't have the patience,for waiting to let the man, make the first move. I would just ask them if they are interested.
When I placed an ad online,I didn't want to sound very aggressive, and attract only men, who wanted to be dominated so I toned myself down considerably.
But it didn't feel honest to me.
I think I wouldn't be overly concerned,about someone trying to do you harm,because then,won't you always be wondering,if this guy is some, lunatic,nazi,woman and black hating nut?
I would just look for theyr'e partner,no partner,ask them if they'd like to go for coffee sometime,ask for his number,if he can't/won't give it to you maybe he does have someone and move on.
Personally I think one of the best ways is, to invest in Match.com and put in an ad stating exactly what you want.
It worked for me several times,twice resulting in marriage.
Stop fretting about the what if's, and just start dating,baby!
Good Luck sexy lady!
cigarbabe:saevil:

 

[Love-it]

3) The above would be even more difficult if a person was returning to the dating scene after the end of a long relationship. How would a person go about dealing with all of that?

Probably the same way I am; with enthusiasm, trepidation and a smidge of ineptness.:tongue:

Ahhh, your too cute NJ.

 

[Principessa]

Two Questions:

1) How can I tell when a Southern man is interested in me and not just being polite?
2) When you are new to an area how do you figure out the dating decorum?
3) The above would be even more difficult if a person was returning to the dating scene after the end of a long relationship. How would a person go about dealing with all of that?

Probably the same way I am; with enthusiasm, trepidation and a smidge of ineptness.:tongue:

Ahhh, your too cute NJ.[/quote] I know, unfortunately I'm not a puppy. :frown1: Cute, charming, sexy, none of it seems to be getting me dates lately.:redface: