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I think this is where my tendencies for rough play, aggression and dominance come into the equation...
It's male intimacy without vulnerability. I worry how I can change this in myself.
Are those tendencies removing the vulnerability or is that just what you like? Meaning to say, if you had no sense of vulnerability, and acted solely on how you wanted to be intimate, would it still be aggressive or dominant? Once you know for sure (by trying it out) you'll know whether its something you really want to change or not.