Dating nerves

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Xin, Aug 20, 2004.

  1. Xin

    Xin New Member

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    Ok, so since I split from my ex I haven't been interested - let alone active - with anyone else. To be totally honest this is more that I am still in love with her than anything else, but I guess that's a different matter.
    Anyway, since I've become more aware of my size over the past months, I've become nervous that if and when I find another partner, I may find I gain some form of reputation owing to my size, and have women trying to use me as a bit of a 'novelty' (as someone else on this site described it).
    I know a vital factor here would be to be careful and not rush into things and such, but as we all know, far from all relationships work out in the long run.
    I guess maybe this sounds a little big-headed (no pun intended) of me, but to be honest, I just don't want to end up being used for my member.

    So my question is this, to both gay and straight guys, have you ever had the problem of a large-cock reputation such as this, and if so how did you sort cope with it? Even if you haven't been in this situation (and to the females on the board too), any other comments, advice, thoughts, suggestions - basically anything on this subject - are more than appreciated!
     
  2. ponybilt

    ponybilt Member

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    Yeah, having a reputation is both boon and bane.

    It's never completely overt unless you run in a small circle of people who all know each other (and talk excessively). My best friend has made comments in the company of both straight and gay friends, which can be a bit unnerving. I simply play into it and act as if it's a joke he's made because this group, other than my friend, will never know the truth.

    Otherwise, in dating circles it's gotten around as well. That's good if I want sex, but the fallout is that they don't really spend any time with me. Geez, that makes me sound needy, hunh? LOL

    The result? Sex is easy; no need to spend excessive time seeking out partners. Relationships are harder but you can actually spend more time on them, if that makes any sense. More complex than that really, and I'm certain to get some comments on my comment.
     
  3. Xin

    Xin New Member

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    Nah, seems to make sense as far as it goes, thanks. :)
    I'm more of a relationship than just plain sex guy myself, but yeh, I see what you mean.

    Anyone else? :)
     
  4. BobLeeSwagger

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    My experience has been that this is dependent on the company you keep. Ideally, if she were the gossipy, immature type, then you wouldn't end up in a sexual relationship with her anyway, but obviously it doesn't always work out that way. The one time this happened to me was with a coworker and it really screwed up my working environment. Fortunately, it was a summer job and within a couple weeks I left them all behind. (And I've sworn off dating coworkers ever since.) But that doesn't apply among a circle of friends.

    The short answer is that if it causes embarrassment for you and they persist in talking about it after hearing your objections, then they aren't really your friends. That's a pretty tough thing to find out after the fact though.

    This might be putting the cart before the horse though. There are so many things that go into getting a relationship started, so worrying about your big dick reputation might be self-defeating. And getting over your ex is a much bigger hurdle to dating other people than any of the other factors. The nature of relationships is that you have to reveal private things about yourself to the other person, and that involves some risk. In a general sense, I don't think that can be avoided.
     
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