Chapter One
I lay back on the table, starting up at ceiling tiles with clouds painted on them. Were those fake clouds supposed to be calming? Sometimes, hospitals feel like they’re operated by robots posing as humans. But of course, the most impressive robot was the giant robotic arm that was delivering targeted radiation directly to my crotch.
What did “pre-cancerous” even mean? If it wasn’t even cancer yet, why was this robot arm zapping my balls? It was certainly dispiriting, having to pull down my pants and lie here for an hour, my penis feeling pathetic and shriveled, while two doctors sat on the other side of a two-foot thick lead door, staring at my limp privates on a monitor. I didn’t like that they were both women. The younger one was really cute, with her bright smile and curly brown hair. In other circumstances, I might have… well, what did it matter? I was told my little friend would probably be out of commission for a few months. And when the first day you meet a girl, she spends an hour shooting radiation at your flaccid dick, maybe that’s not the road to seduction.
When the speaker crackled to life and the doctor told me I was done, I was all set to go to work. Why shouldn’t I? The procedure was non-invasive, and even though the doctors had told me I might be tired afterward, I thought that was nonsense. I just wanted this to be over with. And yet when I sat up, I felt woozy, somehow not myself. The cute doctor told the nurse to get me a steroid, which I took, but as I went out to get my Uber, I changed the destination from my office to my apartment. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
I don’t even remember falling asleep, but it must have been about one in the afternoon. So I was completely perplexed when I opened my eyes again and saw that it was both sunny outside and 8:45! I had slept close to twenty hours! In the middle of that confusion, I realized my bed was soaking wet! I must have peed in bed! I guess sleeping for twenty hours will do that.
And yet as I came to, I realized it didn’t smell like piss. I sat up and got a foggy look at it – the mattress and sheets were streaked in white. I was kind of freaked out. It almost seemed like a wet dream, but what the fuck kind of wet dream could have soaked my sheets, my comforter, and my mattress?
But I didn’t have time to worry about it. I was still in a bit of a fog as pulled off my wet boxers, took a very quick shower, and raced to work.
A couple of hours later, I was still anxious about what had happened. I googled various combinations of “radiation wet mattress night” but all I was getting was hits about incontinence. Suddenly, I heard Melanie behind me. “Are you busy, Jeremy?”
I shut the Google window instantly, but I wondered if she saw what I’d been searching for. Not that I had a shot with Melanie. She was the girl that every guy in the office had a thing for – beautiful, confident, sexy, and hiding a great rack under her work clothes. “No, just finishing a thing,” I said, lamely.
“Can you bring up the specs on the Philadelphia project?” she asked, leaning over my monitor behind me.
I opened the file, fixated on thoughts of that big bra of hers holding her great breasts in place as she bent down. And that’s when I realized the doctors were wrong about my penis being out of commission during my recovery. It immediately started to stiffen in my pants.
I wasn’t really paying much attention to anything about the Philadelphia project as Melanie had me click around the screen. What I noticed was that my erection was growing steadily as it slid down my pants. I was pleased it was working, but also confused – it seemed long, but though it was growing, it wasn’t really hard yet.
And all this was clearly distracting me, because Melanie suddenly said “No, those numbers,” and impatiently, she leaned over and grabbed my mouse. In the process, one of her breasts rubbed against my shoulder. My cock continued to swell. I looked down at her sexy fingers, her ruby red nail polish, on my mouse. Something was definitely going on. My dick should not be this long, I thought, and yet it was still stretching, snaking down my pants leg.
“Jeremy!” Melanie scolded, glancing down at my lap. My erection was absolutely huge, and pressing very visibly against the fabric of my pants. And it felt like it still wasn’t done growing!
“Sorry!” I blurted. “I didn’t mean to!” Melanie sighed a disgusted sigh and made a quick exit to her office.
What the hell was going on? I wanted to go to the bathroom so I could get a good look at my suddenly oversized organ, but I was going to have to wait for it to soften before I dared to do that. But how was that going to happen, given the circumstance? I shut my eyes and tried to think of anything but Melanie and her breasts. But even the feeling of my dick slowly shrinking felt amazing, and made me realize just how big it had gotten. What was going on?
I grabbed the doctors’ card out of my wallet and called. I was getting pretty anxious now, and had no patience for the messages to dial 911 if this is an actual emergency (“Hello 911? I think my dick grew!”), and the endless menu. I finally had to settle for leaving a voicemail. “I have a few questions about side effects from my procedure yesterday,” I said, keeping it vague in case any of my colleagues could hear me, and because I wasn’t really sure what I would say anyway.
About ten minutes later, it was safe for me to get up. But as I did, my desk phone rang. It was Melanie. “Can you come in my office for a sec?” What’s this about? I wondered as I walked to her office. She wouldn’t call HR on me for a normal, biological reaction, would she?
I entered her office. “Hey, about before…” she began.
“I’m sorry,” I interrupted.
“No, I’m sorry. I’ve had these since I was sixteen,” she said, looking down at her boobs, ”but even so, sometimes they seem to go where they want instead of where I want.”
“Oh. Well, I guess we both just had normal, physical reactions.
I lay back on the table, starting up at ceiling tiles with clouds painted on them. Were those fake clouds supposed to be calming? Sometimes, hospitals feel like they’re operated by robots posing as humans. But of course, the most impressive robot was the giant robotic arm that was delivering targeted radiation directly to my crotch.
What did “pre-cancerous” even mean? If it wasn’t even cancer yet, why was this robot arm zapping my balls? It was certainly dispiriting, having to pull down my pants and lie here for an hour, my penis feeling pathetic and shriveled, while two doctors sat on the other side of a two-foot thick lead door, staring at my limp privates on a monitor. I didn’t like that they were both women. The younger one was really cute, with her bright smile and curly brown hair. In other circumstances, I might have… well, what did it matter? I was told my little friend would probably be out of commission for a few months. And when the first day you meet a girl, she spends an hour shooting radiation at your flaccid dick, maybe that’s not the road to seduction.
When the speaker crackled to life and the doctor told me I was done, I was all set to go to work. Why shouldn’t I? The procedure was non-invasive, and even though the doctors had told me I might be tired afterward, I thought that was nonsense. I just wanted this to be over with. And yet when I sat up, I felt woozy, somehow not myself. The cute doctor told the nurse to get me a steroid, which I took, but as I went out to get my Uber, I changed the destination from my office to my apartment. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
I don’t even remember falling asleep, but it must have been about one in the afternoon. So I was completely perplexed when I opened my eyes again and saw that it was both sunny outside and 8:45! I had slept close to twenty hours! In the middle of that confusion, I realized my bed was soaking wet! I must have peed in bed! I guess sleeping for twenty hours will do that.
And yet as I came to, I realized it didn’t smell like piss. I sat up and got a foggy look at it – the mattress and sheets were streaked in white. I was kind of freaked out. It almost seemed like a wet dream, but what the fuck kind of wet dream could have soaked my sheets, my comforter, and my mattress?
But I didn’t have time to worry about it. I was still in a bit of a fog as pulled off my wet boxers, took a very quick shower, and raced to work.
A couple of hours later, I was still anxious about what had happened. I googled various combinations of “radiation wet mattress night” but all I was getting was hits about incontinence. Suddenly, I heard Melanie behind me. “Are you busy, Jeremy?”
I shut the Google window instantly, but I wondered if she saw what I’d been searching for. Not that I had a shot with Melanie. She was the girl that every guy in the office had a thing for – beautiful, confident, sexy, and hiding a great rack under her work clothes. “No, just finishing a thing,” I said, lamely.
“Can you bring up the specs on the Philadelphia project?” she asked, leaning over my monitor behind me.
I opened the file, fixated on thoughts of that big bra of hers holding her great breasts in place as she bent down. And that’s when I realized the doctors were wrong about my penis being out of commission during my recovery. It immediately started to stiffen in my pants.
I wasn’t really paying much attention to anything about the Philadelphia project as Melanie had me click around the screen. What I noticed was that my erection was growing steadily as it slid down my pants. I was pleased it was working, but also confused – it seemed long, but though it was growing, it wasn’t really hard yet.
And all this was clearly distracting me, because Melanie suddenly said “No, those numbers,” and impatiently, she leaned over and grabbed my mouse. In the process, one of her breasts rubbed against my shoulder. My cock continued to swell. I looked down at her sexy fingers, her ruby red nail polish, on my mouse. Something was definitely going on. My dick should not be this long, I thought, and yet it was still stretching, snaking down my pants leg.
“Jeremy!” Melanie scolded, glancing down at my lap. My erection was absolutely huge, and pressing very visibly against the fabric of my pants. And it felt like it still wasn’t done growing!
“Sorry!” I blurted. “I didn’t mean to!” Melanie sighed a disgusted sigh and made a quick exit to her office.
What the hell was going on? I wanted to go to the bathroom so I could get a good look at my suddenly oversized organ, but I was going to have to wait for it to soften before I dared to do that. But how was that going to happen, given the circumstance? I shut my eyes and tried to think of anything but Melanie and her breasts. But even the feeling of my dick slowly shrinking felt amazing, and made me realize just how big it had gotten. What was going on?
I grabbed the doctors’ card out of my wallet and called. I was getting pretty anxious now, and had no patience for the messages to dial 911 if this is an actual emergency (“Hello 911? I think my dick grew!”), and the endless menu. I finally had to settle for leaving a voicemail. “I have a few questions about side effects from my procedure yesterday,” I said, keeping it vague in case any of my colleagues could hear me, and because I wasn’t really sure what I would say anyway.
About ten minutes later, it was safe for me to get up. But as I did, my desk phone rang. It was Melanie. “Can you come in my office for a sec?” What’s this about? I wondered as I walked to her office. She wouldn’t call HR on me for a normal, biological reaction, would she?
I entered her office. “Hey, about before…” she began.
“I’m sorry,” I interrupted.
“No, I’m sorry. I’ve had these since I was sixteen,” she said, looking down at her boobs, ”but even so, sometimes they seem to go where they want instead of where I want.”
“Oh. Well, I guess we both just had normal, physical reactions.