Dealbreakers and Non-Negotiables

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Elijah_MorganWood, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    Anyone I date (or more) must:
    be squeaky clean
    have a great smile
    have a twisted sense of humor

    like animals
    NOT be a morning person
    like to pick off at a moment's notice for a far-off destination or weekend fling
    be a good kisser
    tolerate my habits, tastes, and tendencies
    not have nasty table manners
    be able to conduct themselves in polite company when necessary
    be able to raise hell
    know the difference when to do the last two
    not freak out when I break out the mirrors and the dildos
    let me be the pretty one

    Next...
     
  2. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    well, for starters, anyone i "see" must never, ever use the word "date" if they intend to enjoy the pleasure of my company again.

    :biggrin1:
     
  3. Bryan_Lyte2

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    What are they supposed to say? "do you wan't to go out for days?"
     
  4. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    OK Rock, ...anyone I shag...
     
  5. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    OH, I forgot:
    be fairly smooth or shaved
    be a good tipper (one lousey tip and I know they're a cheap scumbag)
     
  6. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Oh, you scary evil twin of mine, I can't find a single point there that wouldn't fit on my own list of 'minimum requirements'. :rolleyes:

    But I do have to add that they should also be:

    -intelligent and self-confident
    -able to show and communicate emotions
    -possessed of some linguistic ability
    -able to comprehend cultural and historical allusions at the drop of a hat
    -willing to accept that I need some space to call my own sometimes, if only for an evening
    -non-heterophobic (i.e. no constant "oh, straights get to... blah blah blah" whingeing)
    -loaded with irony and the ability to self-deprecate
    -talkative and willing to laugh during sex, because silence ain't gonna keep my interest for more than a lone shag.
     
  7. royston

    royston New Member

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    yeh, and all my girlfriend's must have a flange

    anything else i can get over

    x
     
  8. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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  9. Lex

    Lex
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    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    HOUSTON, we have a PROBLEM!!!
     
  10. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    I read sorcerer’s original list and then Alex8’s list. It got me around to thinking that if one of the requirements on the list were not that it be a female I would have to hop on a plane. Each of the requirements is something that I expect from my partner and something that I like to believe that I offer. I would like to add that she can’t be overly eager. I know it sounds wrong, but I used to (and do again) work part time in a bar and sex cannot be the basis of (most) relationships.

    Keeping that in mind I will add that I do not tolerate alcohol abuse and would prefer if they did not reek of cigarettes. Near the top of the list has to be loyalty and trust. I want to trust them and I want them to trust my loyalty (I refuse to give up every female friend I have just because I have been seeing them for a month.)
     
  11. royston

    royston New Member

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  12. RideRocket

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    I'm setting my standards really high:
    1. Female
    2. Pulse

    _____________
    having a lightswitch nearby is optional...
     
  13. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Rock, if you take her back to your place does she still charge you by the hour?
     
  14. Chuck64

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    Gender:
    Male
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    Rural Texas
    In no particular order:

    Male
    Pulse
    Versatile (preferred) or Top
    MUST be a morning person (or at least wake up before 8:30 AM on the weekends)
    Non-smoker
    Social drinker - Unless they've got a good reason not to drink at all (medical, addiction, etc); Must know when to stop drinking
    No drugs. period.
    Willing to be the designated driver when it's their turn
    be the pretty one (which isn't saying a whole lot)
    enjoy a little teasing, and know how to dish it out as well.
    enjoy many of my habits, tastes, and tendencies - and tolerate the rest
    like animals - especially dogs, but not allow them inside the house
    able to tolerate my more prudish friends and family and know when to STFU!
     
  15. Dr. Dilznick

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    No, you can't choke me
    No, you cannot handcuff me
    I don't like being bitten in odd places
     
  16. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Tsk, that's you off my list of 'potentials' on 3 counts immediately :rolleyes:
     
  17. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    Yes Alex, every one of your more intelligent points as well. We're too much alike...way too much. :biggrin1:
     
  18. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    <----Vampire
     
  19. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    We need to round all of you up and have you gassed.
     
  20. vinny_spiruccino

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    We're a perfect match except for this one... could we arrange an every other night trade off?
     
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