Dealbreakers and Non-Negotiables

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Anyone I date (or more) must:
be squeaky clean
have a great smile
have a twisted sense of humor

like animals
NOT be a morning person
like to pick off at a moment's notice for a far-off destination or weekend fling
be a good kisser
tolerate my habits, tastes, and tendencies
not have nasty table manners
be able to conduct themselves in polite company when necessary
be able to raise hell
know the difference when to do the last two
not freak out when I break out the mirrors and the dildos
let me be the pretty one

Next...

 

[Dr Rock]

well, for starters, anyone i "see" must never, ever use the word "date" if they intend to enjoy the pleasure of my company again.

:biggrin1:

 

[Bryan_Lyte2]

well, for starters, anyone i "see" must never, ever use the word "date" if they intend to enjoy the pleasure of my company again.

:biggrin1:

What are they supposed to say? "do you wan't to go out for days?"

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

well, for starters, anyone i "see" must never, ever use the word "date" if they intend to enjoy the pleasure of my company again.

:biggrin1:

OK Rock, ...anyone I shag...

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

OH, I forgot:
be fairly smooth or shaved
be a good tipper (one lousey tip and I know they're a cheap scumbag)

 

[D_alex8]

Anyone I date (or more) must:
be squeaky clean
have a great smile
have a twisted sense of humor
have agood sense of humor
like animals
NOT be a morning person
like to pick off at a moment's notice for a far-off destination or weekend fling
be a good kisser
tolerate my habits, tastes, and tendencies
not have nasty table manners
be able to conduct themselves in polite company when necessary
be able to raise hell
know the difference when to do the last two
not freak out when I break out the mirrors and the dildos
let me be the pretty one

Next...

Oh, you scary evil twin of mine, I can't find a single point there that wouldn't fit on my own list of 'minimum requirements'.

But I do have to add that they should also be:

-intelligent and self-confident
-able to show and communicate emotions
-possessed of some linguistic ability
-able to comprehend cultural and historical allusions at the drop of a hat
-willing to accept that I need some space to call my own sometimes, if only for an evening
-non-heterophobic (i.e. no constant "oh, straights get to... blah blah blah" whingeing)
-loaded with irony and the ability to self-deprecate
-talkative and willing to laugh during sex, because silence ain't gonna keep my interest for more than a lone shag.

 

[royston]

yeh, and all my girlfriend's must have a flange

anything else i can get over

x

 

[D_alex8]

yeh, and all my girlfriend's must have a flange

anything else i can get over

So your next girlfriend could simply look like this ---

http://www.bionictonic.co.uk/shops/products/402/pulsating_pussy200x200.jpg

??? :tongue:

 

[Lex]

Anyone I date (or more) must:

NOT be a morning person

Next...

HOUSTON, we have a PROBLEM!!!

 

[dolf250]

I read sorcerer’s original list and then Alex8’s list. It got me around to thinking that if one of the requirements on the list were not that it be a female I would have to hop on a plane. Each of the requirements is something that I expect from my partner and something that I like to believe that I offer. I would like to add that she can’t be overly eager. I know it sounds wrong, but I used to (and do again) work part time in a bar and sex cannot be the basis of (most) relationships.

Keeping that in mind I will add that I do not tolerate alcohol abuse and would prefer if they did not reek of cigarettes. Near the top of the list has to be loyalty and trust. I want to trust them and I want them to trust my loyalty (I refuse to give up every female friend I have just because I have been seeing them for a month.)

 

[royston]

So your next girlfriend could simply look like this ---

http://www.bionictonic.co.uk/shops/products/402/pulsating_pussy200x200.jpg

??? :tongue:

i prefer taller girl's with blonder hair but i probably still would!

 

[RideRocket]

I'm setting my standards really high:
1. Female
2. Pulse

_____________
having a lightswitch nearby is optional...

 

[Pecker]

well, for starters, anyone i "see" must never, ever use the word "date" if they intend to enjoy the pleasure of my company again.

:biggrin1:

Rock, if you take her back to your place does she still charge you by the hour?

 

[Chuck64]

Anyone I date (or more) must:

In no particular order:

Male
Pulse
Versatile (preferred) or Top
MUST be a morning person (or at least wake up before 8:30 AM on the weekends)
Non-smoker
Social drinker - Unless they've got a good reason not to drink at all (medical, addiction, etc); Must know when to stop drinking
No drugs. period.
Willing to be the designated driver when it's their turn
be the pretty one (which isn't saying a whole lot)
enjoy a little teasing, and know how to dish it out as well.
enjoy many of my habits, tastes, and tendencies - and tolerate the rest
like animals - especially dogs, but not allow them inside the house
able to tolerate my more prudish friends and family and know when to STFU!

 

[Dr. Dilznick]

No, you can't choke me
No, you cannot handcuff me
I don't like being bitten in odd places

 

[D_alex8]

No, you can't choke me
No, you cannot handcuff me
I don't like being bitten in odd places

Tsk, that's you off my list of 'potentials' on 3 counts immediately

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Oh, you scary evil twin of mine, I can't find a single point there that wouldn't fit on my own list of 'minimum requirements'.

But I do have to add that they should also be:

-intelligent and self-confident
-able to show and communicate emotions
-possessed of some linguistic ability
-able to comprehend cultural and historical allusions at the drop of a hat
-willing to accept that I need some space to call my own sometimes, if only for an evening
-non-heterophobic (i.e. no constant "oh, straights get to... blah blah blah" whingeing)
-loaded with irony and the ability to self-deprecate
-talkative and willing to laugh during sex, because silence ain't gonna keep my interest for more than a lone shag.

Yes Alex, every one of your more intelligent points as well. We're too much alike...way too much. :biggrin1:

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

HOUSTON, we have a PROBLEM!!!

<----Vampire

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

MUST be a morning person (or at least wake up before 8:30 AM on the weekends)

We need to round all of you up and have you gassed.

 

[vinny_spiruccino]

let me be the pretty one

Next...

We're a perfect match except for this one... could we arrange an every other night trade off?