Dealing with a boyfriend's premature ejaculation

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by axcess4all, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. axcess4all

    axcess4all New Member

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    I have been dating this guy for a few months now and we are really great together. We have just the right balance of similarities and differences to keep things interesting. However, the only problem we have is in the bedroom and his inability to last for more than a few minutes. At first I thought it may just be nerves and would get better as we got closer. We've tried a lot of slow foreplay, but so far no difference. As soon as I start to go down on him he ejaculates and then feels sorry about it. He's a considerate lover and always finishes me off, but it all feels so one-sided. I'd love to hear from anybody who has ever experienced a situation like this and if you were able to work through it.
     
  2. mariamluvsEMbig

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    hmmm...maybe you should rub his head more and desensitize it...
     
  3. B_Mister Buildington

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    Dump that zero and find yourself a hero?
     
  4. mariamluvsEMbig

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    i've heard that there are creams and condoms too to help prevent this...
     
  5. SpeedoMike

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    desensitizing cream
     
  6. miamiman0690

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    "desensitizing cream"

    aka alcohol? cuz that seems to do the job just right :p
     
  7. crescendo69

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    Can he go again?
     
  8. gcbenji0

    gcbenji0 Member

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    It sounds like he and I have a lot in common. I have to tell guys to only hold my penis from the sides and not to touch the head during the foreplay.
    Or else it will be over before you know it.

    Try those "extended pleasure" trojan condoms or see if you can find edible desensitizing lube.

    Or here's an idea. Don't do stuff to him. Let him do stuff to you. He knows his body, and he knows how longs he will last based on what exactly you guys are doing.
    I last longer when I fucking his face as opposed to laying back and receiving a dicksucking
     
  9. gcbenji0

    gcbenji0 Member

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    oh yeah a couple of drinks DEFINITELY makes me last longer.
     
  10. blkbro510

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    Check out his recovery time. It could be that he needs to nut a quick one first but after thay second one marathon runner!
     
  11. zentropy

    zentropy New Member

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    My boyfriend is exactly the same way. He's nearly 40 and has been like this his whole life so it's not going away. Some of his ex-girlfriends were critical but it hasn't been a problem for us, just something to work with it. The main thing that helped is that I started doing kegels when we first started dating and now have extremely fast orgasms (it used to take upwards of 20 minutes of intense sex and lots of stimulation for me to get anywhere close). Now I usually come when he does, within a minute or two of penetration. I never thought that was possible for me. He also lets me control the movements when he's inside of me, whether I'm on top or the bottom. I tend to get him in really deep and then make small, controlled movements with my hips, not grinding too hard or moving too much since that would make him come almost instantly. The result is really explosive orgasms for both of us, usually simultaneously.

    I'm not one for creams or condoms or anything that artificially makes a guy last longer because it reduces the overall sensation for him and that's a turn off for me. For a few months last year my boyfriend was on an anti-depressant (for other reasons) and could last a long time, but our sex life was awful during that time. He thought it was great that he could last so long but I had a very hard time having an orgasm at all because I knew sex didn't feel as good to him. SSRIs are sometimes prescribed to treat premature ejaculation, but I was relieved when he switched meds to one that doesn't interfere with sex.

    Generally I don't think premature ejaculation is very well understood. The "tricks" that work for most guys to delay ejaculating just don't work with guys who are built this way. We can have sex multiple times in a short time span and it really doesn't delay his coming by more than 1-3 minutes with each subsequent session. But, my body seems to have happily acclimated. I've never had so many orgasms with anyone else in my life. And it doesn't hurt that he's learned to compensate over the years by becoming an oral sex god :). I'm a very happy camper.
     
  12. gcbenji0

    gcbenji0 Member

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    I think two perhaps easy solutions are alcohol and a cock ring
    Cock rings are designed to keep the ejaculation from happening so soon.
    They're really fuckin' expensive. I paid $9 for a rubber ring.

    go to docjohnson.com and find a cock ring. or go to a local sex store like lovers lane and see what you can find.
     
  13. Carson32

    Carson32 New Member

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    If you want your BF to last longer tell him to stop jacking off so much.
    Due to excessive masterbation he hashave trained his ejaculatory reflex to release quickly therefore causing premature ejaculation.

    he must learn to retrain EJ reflex so hr can last as long as you need in bed. Check out the site below I think it can help you. It gives tips on how to retain your reflex, and its worked wonders for me. AND MAKE HIM STOP PLAYING WITH HIMSELF!
    http://curepremature-ejaculation.net
     
  14. hairyman101

    hairyman101 New Member

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    hahahahahahahaha,,,,,,,so he cant hold his cum. thats funny.
     
  15. TheRob

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    not ti sidetrack, but is that your ass in your profile, if so WOW
     
  16. buzzrider7

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    I'd actually say that he needs to jack off more, not less. I used to have this problem too, but it was when I was in a nearly sexless relationship and I felt guilty for jacking off (a bit fucked up, yeah, I know, thanks). When I did get sex or when I would jack off, I had so much pent-up sexual energy that I literally couldn't last more than 20-30 seconds. As any guy knows, the greater the number of times you blow your load in a day, the longer it takes each time. So I'd say have him jack once or twice a few hours before you really want to go at it and that might help him last longer. You could also turn it into something fun, like you jack him off, he puts on a little show for you, or you watch from across the room, etc. depending on what you and he are into.
     
  17. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    when younger, I had the same problem. what saved me was my rebound time was zero, my cock stayed hard, and I just kept going. I would go from zero to hero. in fact it was that ability that gave my gf her first orgasm. we married later, and eventually I got to the point where I had total control most of the time.
     
  18. SpiceFromIndia

    SpiceFromIndia New Member

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    I was never a pre-mature guy but i always wanted to go for long. currently I play with myself for a long time both in the morning and night. I used to touch myself and masturbates till i am about to explode and stop it and sometimes when i am having sex with some one i took out and grab the head and went again. I believe girls like to get fucked for a long time and there i always won among all her past lovers. I would suggest lot of touching and holding it. You might want to do for him and ask him to control it.
     
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