Dealing With Anxiety

msmnmjg

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Apologies to anyone reading this in advance as these can be very sensitive and uncomfortable subject. I've never gone to a professional health physician or advisor that has diagnosed me with Anxiety; however, I do feel like I show signs of anxiety and at times it's led to depression. I am currently in between jobs and hope to seek a physician or counselor in the near future, but for people who have dealt with anxiety, how have you handled, coped and improved your mental health and well-being?

I've noticed for me there a lot of habits that plague me. I worry a lot, although i've gotten better with certain things like job where I don't worry as much. I use to worry a lot about meeting a guy long term; however i've almost settled in not dating since it would bring me a good amount of pain and loneliness when a guy doesn't work out. I use to really care about having "best friends" but lately i've been settled on having "casual friends", not really caring about deep friendships. Once in a while I get pretty restless at night thinking about meaning of life and being scared of the thought of death. I have a lot of other bad habits in my life: I have a lot of to do lists but i always defer it to later (i.e. cleaning my house). I try to distract myself sometimes with playing phone games or check IG until i'm ready to tackle on real world things, i'm on grindr more than I'd like to be sometimes.

I finally have a chance to move cities, from Cali to PNW. I've kind of wanted to move for quite a while just for a change of scene and a slower pace. I just felt like the last 5-7 yrs is just a repetitive with same habits and still feeling like i'm still in the same spot in life; however i think the change of scene is causing my anxiety to flare again. I'm not really sure why, but possibly just the thought of change and not knowing specific and defined moments that i will be looking forward to or excited about. Maybe i'm kind of scared of potential negative things.

Any advice helps. Thanks!
 
D

deleted1547822

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Based on a couple of points you made (worry a lot, restless at bedtime), you could try reading “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” by Sally Winston and Martin Seif.

Their examples vary widely, and many aren’t applicable (I think) to most people; but the reasons, explanation and plan of action are very good.

In summary, we tend to have random thoughts enter our head. They can be all kinds of thoughts, and most are quickly and easily dismissed. Some are disconcerting. “What if I screw up my presentation?”, “What if the plane crashes?”, “What if they laugh at me”, etc... You can think of all kinds of examples. These thoughts get “stuck” in our minds, and cause anxiety. Precisely, they trigger the amygdala which causes the body to release adrenaline. That results in nausea, muscle tension, etc... The cortex gets involved, and we end up in a mental argument about the thought. This reinforces the thought and the anxiety response. The book talks about what does and doesn’t work for breaking this cycle (some “common sense” solutions, offered by professionals or other books, actually exacerbate the problem - and the authors explain why).
 

halcyondays

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Yoga saved me a very long time ago. I'm talking meditation whether moving or sitting--in classes yes but overwhelmingly at home alone where I don't stress about getting to a class or comparing myself with others.

Eastern philosophy. A book called Does It Matter? by Alan Watts changed my life.
 

msmnmjg

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Thank you. I will look into both books. I’m 35 and about to make a move from Cali to Washington. I think the move is giving me a lot of anxiety and worrying about change and starting fresh... even though starting fresh has been something I wanted to hopefully be better rooted and invested in friends and hopefully relationship
 
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superbot

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Apologies to anyone reading this in advance as these can be very sensitive and uncomfortable subject. I've never gone to a professional health physician or advisor that has diagnosed me with Anxiety; however, I do feel like I show signs of anxiety and at times it's led to depression. I am currently in between jobs and hope to seek a physician or counselor in the near future, but for people who have dealt with anxiety, how have you handled, coped and improved your mental health and well-being?

I've noticed for me there a lot of habits that plague me. I worry a lot, although i've gotten better with certain things like job where I don't worry as much. I use to worry a lot about meeting a guy long term; however i've almost settled in not dating since it would bring me a good amount of pain and loneliness when a guy doesn't work out. I use to really care about having "best friends" but lately i've been settled on having "casual friends", not really caring about deep friendships. Once in a while I get pretty restless at night thinking about meaning of life and being scared of the thought of death. I have a lot of other bad habits in my life: I have a lot of to do lists but i always defer it to later (i.e. cleaning my house). I try to distract myself sometimes with playing phone games or check IG until i'm ready to tackle on real world things, i'm on grindr more than I'd like to be sometimes.

I finally have a chance to move cities, from Cali to PNW. I've kind of wanted to move for quite a while just for a change of scene and a slower pace. I just felt like the last 5-7 yrs is just a repetitive with same habits and still feeling like i'm still in the same spot in life; however i think the change of scene is causing my anxiety to flare again. I'm not really sure why, but possibly just the thought of change and not knowing specific and defined moments that i will be looking forward to or excited about. Maybe i'm kind of scared of potential negative things.

Any advice helps. Thanks!

Rule ONE.DON'T self diagnose.Go to your doctor,often the solution is more simple than you realize.A doctor is there to help and will have seen hundreds of people like you,so use his advice/experience.
Stay off Google too,no two people have the same experiences,so you'll often end up MORE confused and anxious by reading other peoples worst case scenarios.I have it,its not the end of the world.Good luck!
 
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deleted1547822

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Rule ONE.DON'T self diagnose.Go to your doctor,often the solution is more simple than you realize.A doctor is there to help and will have seen hundreds of people like you,so use his advice/experience.
Stay off Google too,no two people have the same experiences,so you'll often end up MORE confused and anxious by reading other peoples worst case scenarios.I have it,its not the end of the world.Good luck!

The problem is that you inadvertently end up picking your treatment depending on the discipline of the provider. MD? Probably going to get a prescription for an SSRI. Psychoanalyst? “Tell me about your mother”. Behavioral Therapist? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The list goes on.

There are plenty of useful self-help books. The one I suggested is a widely respected CBT method. Alan Watts’ book deals mainly with mindful meditation (although there are more specific “How-To” books on the subject). None of those are going to help people with schizophrenia or other serious disorders. Many of them will help the average person within the range of the “normal” human condition. Everyone has anxiety to some degree. The counter example to “go see a doctor” is if you have a headache, constipation, cold, etc... The doctor isn’t necessarily the first choice, and there’s nothing wrong with self-treatment. Only the individual knows if the condition is serious enough to warrant an office visit.

The book I suggested is often recommended by mental health providers. So is Alan Watts.
 
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henrywho

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I developed anxiety off the back of a very bad work environment and thankfully things have improved since then but I still have a few moments here and there. The things that helped me then and continue to help me now are things that keep me active. Gardening, going on walks or runs, using my adult colouring book to take my focus elsewhere and meditation. I know they’re not for everyone but these things really helped me. I found doing things that both shifted my focus and were things I enjoyed brought my anxiety levels right now. I wish you the best.
 
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The problem is that you inadvertently end up picking your treatment depending on the discipline of the provider. MD? Probably going to get a prescription for an SSRI. Psychoanalyst? “Tell me about your mother”. Behavioral Therapist? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The list goes on.

There are plenty of useful self-help books. The one I suggested is a widely respected CBT method. Alan Watts’ book deals mainly with mindful meditation (although there are more specific “How-To” books on the subject). None of those are going to help people with schizophrenia or other serious disorders. Many of them will help the average person within the range of the “normal” human condition. Everyone has anxiety to some degree. The counter example to “go see a doctor” is if you have a headache, constipation, cold, etc... The doctor isn’t necessarily the first choice, and there’s nothing wrong with self-treatment. Only the individual knows if the condition is serious enough to warrant an office visit.

The book I suggested is often recommended by mental health providers. So is Alan Watts.
You have to try different treatments as no one treatment works for all.They are all useful as a doctor wouldn't recommend them if they weren't.SSRI's are extremely beneficial and helped me enormously.It is vital that you do this through a doctor,as with all illnesses it needs to be monitored. Doctors are there to help you,not kill you.
 

spaj8987

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I've never had serious issues with it before but when i did i noticed there were certain things i wasn't doing. Wasn't breathing slowly, wasn't calmly approaching the subject/event/person as i normally would and wasn't asking questions of myself that would garner good information.

One of the main questions that started to help me (keep in mind that it wasn't serious anxiety) was..is this really all that important. Like would the world end if i failed at doing blank or blank. Would the consequences be all that bad if i failed it. I also asked what failure actually is.

Doing my best to slow the moment down and focus on what i defined as the most important. Took some getting used to but after a while i started becoming more and more aware of what i was doing, why i was doing it and was a little better at re-directing my focus in the moment.

Don't know if that'll help people with serious anxiety but that's what i did.