I watched the show as well, and I had a lot of mixed feelings about it.
First, it's really hard to call all those guys gay-for-pay when they're all clearly doing different things. It's not a fair comparison among three guys who bartend at gay bars versus three guys who shoot adult content for the pleasure of gay men. I waited tables for a few years throughout school, and I can tell you that flirting was something I had to do to maximize my tips. The persons that seemed most appreciating of it were middle-aged women, bachelorette parties, and gay men (who were more "obvious"). I can hold a tray and dish out food just fine, but doing the crazier stuff like rubbing the gay guy's shoulder or giving a brief lapdance or hopping on top of the table were things that you just had to do to make that extra cheddar. Hell, a party of strippers certainly appreciated it. I scored a stiff margarita and half my rent money in a single evening.
I'm sure that money factors in heavily for a lot of these guys. Think about it. It's enticing on its face. Now, the guys featured do more explicit behaviors, but you can still score some decent scratch sticking to mutual masturbation or showing off or body worship or any of those genres. In the adult industry, you have a short marketable shelf life. You have to stay in good shape, keep your face, get into riskier business to keep your fan base happy. If you don't, someone else will. Porn guys get into their 30s and find that the producers have moved on; youth sells as much as cock size. Assuming they're at least in their mid-twenties, they have ten years to make a solid income to support themselves and their families and to stash away the rest in savings. I would be brutally honest and say that their prospects after porn are relatively low. Kurt talked about getting fired from Subway. Could you imagine trying to go to college, getting your degree so that you could get a decent business job or go into law school, only to get busted on your background checks? YES. It's real; it doesn't take much to get you figured.
Beyond that, the guys have to struggle to retain a straight identity. I don't know how they do it; I couldn't begin to tell you. I heard a lot about dissociation -- watching the porn, getting your dick going a bit, and then just mentally blocking everything out. I could buy that if you're on the set bathing in studio lights or having people give directions off-camera. Maybe they pretend to focus on their girlfriends or wives. Maybe they think of the payoff. Maybe they just look for whatever feels good in any of it and latch on. No idea. Either way, it definitely seems like a "different" way to have sex, unlike the ease of looking in your partner's eyes while going to town. In any sense, a lot of dissociative behaviors spread out over time can lead to some emotional and self-conceptual breakdowns. It's just really tiring to either pretend to hold up someone else's fantasy or pretend to hold on something that doesn't fit you. AJ especially seemed like someone bothered by getting asked about his sexuality.
Finally, I didn't really care for what the editor from The Advocate said. If he really saw this as a big issue, why doesn't he take issue with the porn companies that are catering to the gay-for-pay genre? Or, if he's upset about flirting with unattainable bartenders, why doesn't he request the managers to stop hiring them? Or, if he's equally concerned about how porn introduces and entices people into drug culture, then why doesn't he scorn the companies that have bareback-sex procedures? I don't think it's fair game to call out these guys for what they do without considering the structural elements to each of these industries. That's where the problem lies. These guys are just trying to get by.
