I'm asking this question to see if anyone has ideas on how best to handle this situation. A few days ago my father asked me to go with him shopping today. I told him I could go in the early afternoon and would be happy to go. Yesterday he tells me he wants to leave around 10:30am. I stated quite clearly again that the early afternoon would be when I could go. This afternoon he knocks on my door at noon telling me he's ready. I told him I'd be there and so got up, showered, got dressed, and when I went to find my father at 12:30pm he had already left. How should I handle this incident when he returns? I felt I was quite clear, was ready at the time I said I would be, and still that wasn't good enough for him. I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to go because one of the places he wanted to go was the commissary at West Point where he has a pass to get in and the prices would embarrass even WalMart. Other than that, I just thought I'd go for fun. He has no other appointments today. He did express concern about driving in traffic but I thought I'd offer to drive if he was worried about traffic. I'm left feeling like he purposely created a situation in which I would disappoint him by not doing what he told me to when he told me to and I'm not quite sure how to NOT get sucked into that trap of playing this game. I don't believe I was unreasonable and feel he was. Am I wrong? In the past when similar things have happened he's been all too prepared to throw his disappointment with me in my face. I wasn't ready when I said I was, he wanted to avoid traffic. In my opinion he changed the rules without telling me so that he could be in a position to create this kind of situation. I know I need to move out, blah blah blah. Yes I do pay him a fair rent and I've bought every major appliance in the house, spent 12 years looking after his mother, and renovated half of it without asking for any reimbursement so no, this isn't remotely like a free ride here and even then I don't see how that enters into this particular situation. I want to break this pattern. Opt out of playing his game rather than get sucked into it. As always, the people closest to us know how to push just the right buttons to make us lose our temper and that is what he wants me to do so he can feel self-righteous about taking off without me. At least that's how I perceive it.