Isn't it rather a question of choice without being stereotyped nor criticised?
Really, don't give a shit for people who judge you for doing what makes you happy when it doesn't interfere with anyone else.
Such people have issues.
I knew that Drifterwood was one of the good guys. :smile: I've struggled with this pretty much my entire life, moreso when I was younger than now though. Nearly all of my interests are traditionally male, however, I can't really do the domestic stuff OR the DIY stuff. I just don't seem to have picked up those skills. I'm better at "book-learning" kinds of things. But growing up I dressed in jeans and T-shirts, and liked to play sports and with Tinkertoys and Tonka trucks rather than dolls, and wanted to be a scientist when I grew up. I still HATE cooking and baking, and pretty much all things domestic (I hope to find me a guy who likes to cook...), however, I like my padded push-up bras and would have breast augmentation if I had the money; and now I mix it up with some comfy/athletic clothes and some fashionista stuff. I consider myself a VERY strong feminist and have a real gripe with the people who consider that word a bad thing. However, I do admit that there is a tiny (maybe 1% or less) of "feminists" who do/did appear to hate men and say stuff like "all sex is rape" (the main/best known one I can think of in that category is Andrea Dworkin). Actually, I think many if not most feminists distance themselves from her brand of feminism, because it is counter-productive.
dickydrug, i am totally a feminist!
women should have the right to decide what she wants to be.
feminism is about the right to live as a butch dyke or a domestic goddess if you want.
and i truly despise the feminazis for turning women like you off with the shit they spout.
Or we can be butch dyke in some ways and fashionista in other ways (I can see myself in both of those, but as I am VERY non-domestic, I don't see any domestic goddess in me. But that's ME personally...)
But if you're really being honest, you have to admit that those feminists who could be considered feminazis are minority in the feminist movement.
They are just a loud minority, whose quotes are constantly parroted by right wing, anti-feminists groups. By doing all of this, "I hate feminazis!" stuff, you're falling into the trap laid by people who hate all feminist thought and would prefer to go back 1800's era gender roles.
Yep, that's what I gather, too. I refuse to use a word that has been brought into popularity by Rush Limbaugh. I do realize that there is a tiny (and sometimes loud) minority of feminists who do hate men and all that, but I'd guess that that percentage is around 1% or less of feminists. I don't know - most of the people
I've known advocated going back to 1800s era gender roles, or at least 1950s! UGH!!!!
(Not to mention that they sometimes prohibited me from pursuing my interests, especially in childhood, so that I didn't really get a grasp on "Who am I?" and "What do I want to do with my life?" that I still struggle with to this day. I am able to pursue my interests, but often when it comes to work/jobs, I don't have the background to actually be successful at jobs, because I didn't get that support in childhood to get the background skills I needed.
kingdong - I've found that when men speak of "women who want to be men", what they're usually referring to is "women who want to define womanhood in their own way", rather than in the way sexually appeals most to the vast majority of straight guys.
I'm cool with being a woman. I also want the freedom of figuring out what my version of femaleness looks, sounds, and feels like - and to have that respected as one way of being a woman. If someone doesn't want to fuck girls like me, that's okay, but I resent being told that I "want to be a man" just because I don't buy into all the trappings of traditional femininity.
I actually DID want to be a boy when I was growing up, but that's in large part because I had to stand on the sidelines and watch the boys do all the stuff I was interested in doing but was not allowed to by the community where I grew up because it was "JUST for boys". I was bullied whenever I tried to pursue my actual interests, by the other kids (boys and girls both) and by the teachers! Then there were the clubs that did things I was interested in doing, but those clubs were closed to girls. And the clubs FOR girls just did boring stuff. But I think maybe what I really wanted (hmm.. another reason for my screen name?) was to define my own version of being a woman. And now I think I'm pretty much there, but some of the background I need for jobs as well as social skills are not quite there, even to this day.
darpon - that's nice, thanks for sharing. How does your opinion negate my original point?
greatdick - I was hardly "bashing straight men", I was pointing out the ridiculousness of saying that women who don't do everything they want aesthetically "want to be men". I don't want to be a man, I want to be my own kind of woman. If you enjoy "taking the time and effort to appeal to straight men", good for you. I prefer doing what I personally enjoy with my face and body, which happens to not coincide with what appeals to most straight men. I did the long hair and make-up thing and turned a few heads in my time, but ultimately decided it wasn't for me. My boyfriend prefers androgynous women, and I feel really lucky to be in a relationship with someone whose ideal happens to coincide with the version of myself I'm most comfortable with - I wouldn't trade this feeling of comfort in my own skin for the more widespread appeal I experienced earlier in my life.
I think it's about choices, when it comes down to it. I wear makeup now, but I didn't always wear it. I have had both long hair and short hair. I have worn androgynous clothes and "girly" clothes. (and my wardrobe contains both, because I've been known to wear androgynous clothes one day and "girly" clothes the next! and I say, SO WHAT???! I like what I like.) I do try to be more attractive to men, and I kind of feel bad that I didn't try harder to be attractive to men when I was younger (but then, I'm not sure I would have ever appealed to the men I knew in those days - I was below their breast-size minimum and still am...) I think it's fun to go to clubs of some of my interests where I know that I will either be the only woman there surrounded by men, or at the very least that women will be the minority there, and look as attractive as possible to try to get the attention of the men there! But I still have those interests, and honestly, if I don't feel like getting all dressed up and full makeup and all that day, I won't do that - It depends on what I want to do at that particular time.)
