This is where I think feminism has done its best work. Women of today can take for granted a whole host of opportunities and social roles that were unavailable to their elders. I think it silly to throw the baby out with the bathwater just because some of feminisms biggest mouths get most of the air time. People like Greer and Dworkin had a place, if only to make mainstream feminism appear more reasonable, but their ship has long since sailed.
The irony of feminism is that it's made being a man more difficult for many straight males. Women excel at school, are graduating college at a higher rate, and are rapidly becoming the majority of managers and supervisors in business at the lower and middle levels. Men don't really view being a house husband as an option but when they take on that role, they're immediately suspect not just by other men, but women as well. Men still have trouble entering nursing and many are driven away from elementary education altogether because it raises suspicions about their motives. Men are certainly not free to dress anything like women though women are free to dress in most traditionally male clothing.
It's funny you mention this on this web site where we have an entire subforum devoted to penis enlargement. If you think men don't obsess about their bodies, hair loss, their attractiveness, potency, semen volume, and (of course) penis size, then you haven't been reading. Women are permitted to openly worry about these things, "Do I look fat in this?" but men can't ever do that publicly. They must always appear confident and as if they don't give a rat's ass about how they look even if they do. There is still a double standard and I think it's time we start permitting men to something other than Alan Alda or Robert DeNiro. It's odd. Popular actresses who portray everywoman are very attractive yet popular actors who portray everyman aren't. Girls don't have posters of Tom Hanks over their bed.
I think more men should go into nursing and teaching - those are recession-proof jobs! Ironically, while I used to be actually against women going into those fields (yes, back when I only wanted women to go into traditionally male fields - basically because I was so discouraged from my interests), now I think health care and teaching are two of the BEST fields to go into (because of the recession-proof nature of them). However, neither field is a good field FOR ME. My interests in science were not so much in biology (I can't stand dissecting anything, and am very squeamish about the sight of blood - I can't even stand to look at or touch raw meat! Kind of narrows down the cooking - and well, I hate cooking anyway and live on fast food and pre-packaged junk anyway... :biggrin1
. I like sciences but my favorites are physics, astronomy, and geology... But yes, I think we need to allow men the same freedoms from restrictive gender roles that we've been fighting for women to be free of. And most feminists are on the same page as me on this.
As for the appearance standards, that's a toughie for me because while I agree with most feminists about the unrealistic beauty standards being, well, unrealistic, I still think those very few who DO look that way really ARE more attractive. And that goes for women and men. I strive (and unfortunately do not succeed!) to look like MY ideal - which is in many ways opposite of how I actually look. My ideal for women is slim but very busty. I'm "average/chubby" and small breasted, although I used to be slim (and REALLY flat chested then!) And the argument I use with feminists who would be against me having plastic surgery if I had the money is, "Don't you think men would do similar stuff if they have the money? Well, some would, I'm sure! And many DO".
Interesting topic, for sure...
Personally, I refuse to use the term "feminazi" because it was coined by Rush Limbaugh NOT to define fringe feminists who define sex with men as "rape," but to categorize women who happened to be pro-choice. He is an ugly, hateful man who has nothing but ill intentions when it comes to rights for women, minorities or anyone else for that matter.
I also don't buy the argument that straight men now have it harder in this world because women are moving on up. Straight (white) men still have many advantages over minorities in this country, including women. While affirmative action and the feminist movement of the 1970s has helped to "level the playing field," so to speak, it certainly has not stopped many straight men from continuing to insist upon their superiority in jobs, politics, education, family structure, sexual identity, etc.
All that aside, to me, we are WAY too hung up on gender roles. Personally, I like women to wear makeup, wear sexy lingerie, high heels, have nice bodies...but that's MY preference. Does that automatically negate other definitions of beauty or feminism...no, it certainly does not. One of the tremendous triumphs of the feminist movement is that - hopefully - it has allowed women to define themselves however they want to be defined...not how men think they should be defined. I may not find a masculine female to be sexy, but I admire women (and men, for that matter) who have the confidence to be who they want to be without being forced into the roles by which many of us believe gender should be defined.
It's one thing to say "I like to be this way or that way." It's a whole other thing to say "being such makes you LESS of a woman or man." Who is anyone to define what that is for someone else?
Exactly on the Rush Limbaugh origins. That's why I won't use the word "feminazi". I know that Dolfette doesn't mean it in the same way that Rush Limbaugh does, though.
And I agree - straight white men still have it better than any other group! I get just as bent out of shape when people say that whites have it bad now because blacks have rights (and I'm white) as I do when men whine about men losing rights because women are gaining rights.
I wear makeup, will wear sexy lingerie if I'm with a guy (I looove sexy lingerie!), will wear high heels sometimes (but pardon me if I don't if I'm going to be on my feet a lot - they hurt too much!), but I also like sports, electronics, and science, and often when I go to group meetings of my interests, I'm the only woman there! (Which, by the way, can be quite fun when you're a woman who is straight, single and horny! :biggrin1
I like sensitive men who like to cook, but who are also athletic. Hmmm....
I'm in a senior level class entitled, "Feminist Theory".
Dol. You promote equality among women but condemn a group of them? Doesn't this seem a bit off-balance?
I can't disagree with you that CERTAIN MALE CONSTRUCTIONS OF BEING 'FEMININE' OR BEING 'SEXUAL.. (because the two terms are definitely intertwined and cannot be eradicated from one another) are appealing! I think a lot of feminist theory is mushed up into 'radical' feminist theory when it IS not.
You should REALLY do some reading on the ideas that make up feminist theory.
It will not only open your eyes to some things you may have not thought about before.
I won't go in detail.. just know that the stereotype of the feminist is the same stereotype given to women since the beginning of time; irrational, emotional, radical....
Yes, I agree!
Answer: In perception which is individual and unique to each person.
A woman who wants and desires only men is perceived to be more feminine to me than a woman who is sexually attracted to and satisfied by both men & women regardless of physical characterisitcs.
Ditto bi-sexual men.
Not a universal truth. Just my perception.
When I was younger, I wore jeans and T-shirts almost exclusively, often from the men's department, had hair about 1" long, wore a leather wristband with metal spikes, took karate, and was interested in sports, electronics, sciences, etc., and actually caught myself one day watching TV in my underwear, flipping the remote control between the NBA playoffs and the Indy 500, and scratching myself! (I joked that I just needed to have a beer, too!) And, I'm a totally straight woman, enthusiastically attracted to men! :biggrin1:
(Now I do wear dresses occasionally, although I wear mostly jeans right now because I have a job where you can wear jeans every day, and have to wear comfy shoes because I'm on my feet all day! I have long-ish hair that I'm trying to figure out what to do with, no longer have the leather wristband, but still like sports, electronics, and sciences! And of course, men!:wink
