dear fuckers,

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    sexual enjoyment is supposed to be MUTUAL.

    if a person does not enjoy oral sex but you do, this does not make them selfish, this makes you incompatible.
    if a person does not enjoy anal sex but you do, this does not make them selfish, this makes you incompatible.
    if you think sex should last 3o minutes but they want three hours, this does not make you selfish, this makes you incompatible.

    nobody has a duty to perform any sexual act they do not enjoy.
    nobody has the right to expect his/her partner to perform sexual acts they do not enjoy.

    and anybody who can get his/her jollies from an act, whilst knowing full well that their partner is hating every minute, is one step away from being an abuser.

    seems simple, doesn't it?
     
  2. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
    Messages:
    846
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    Yes, it does.
     
  3. D_Tina_Ciao

    D_Tina_Ciao Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Messages:
    1,031
    Likes Received:
    7
    I agree.
     
  4. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I completely understand that. I like sex. If my male significant other no longer wants to do certain acts that we have done before, I am respectful of that. But if I still want that, I will find someone else that will. That is all. That isn't selfish either.

     
  5. Enid

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,402
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    181
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    My home is wherever reality seems elastic and the
    It's *very* simple really.
     
  6. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,301
    Likes Received:
    1,735
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    Too simple!!
    An effort from your partner to please you is a sign of generosity and makes you happy. So happy that you will also be prepared to do something you don't like just to please him/her.
    Intelligent couples will understand that these "unpleasant" acts are bonuses that shouldn't be expected all the time and have the purpose of spicing up their sex life when it needs it.
     
  7. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    first, there is a world of difference between something you don't get much out of and something you actively dislike.

    choosing to do something just for the other person's pleasure is super cool and hawt...but if it is actually unpleasant then, no, you shouldn't be expected or obligated.
     
  8. Mr_Cumalot

    Mr_Cumalot New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    926
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I love fucking deers. Oh sorry wrong thread!
     
  9. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    sooo passe.

    gnu sex is where it's at.
     
  10. Mr_Cumalot

    Mr_Cumalot New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    926
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I gnu you'd say that!
     
  11. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    *groan*
     
  12. vince

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2007
    Messages:
    14,785
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    539
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Asia
    I agree. Some women have no idea how to give good oral or a handjob. My trouble is that even though I really dislike what she is doing, or find it boring, I'm to considerate of her feelings and put up with whatever, so as not to make her feel badly. With some women, I've found they are open to learning what feels good and how to do it better. But some think they are experts and I'm sure would be kinda pissed or insulted if I correct the technique. Maybe the other guys they have been with have liked it or also been reticent to say anything. Generally I, move us into another position or activity.

    No one should be knowingly hurting a partner, just for their own pleasure.
     
  13. Mr_Cumalot

    Mr_Cumalot New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    926
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    You'll be doing during that anal sex you don't want
     
  14. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    awwww! you sound so nice!

    and you're right. you have to take feelings into account.
    these things need to be handled with tact.
     
  15. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    3,790
    Likes Received:
    17
    Ita, Invisi! We should so be life-mates. :smile:
    But, I would go a bit further and state that one incompatibility does not doom the relationship. I would definitely be open to an agreement with my significant other that leaves us both satisfied.
     
  16. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina

    DulceBum--

    Oh, I wasn't implying that I would leave that relationship totally. I would still be in it...I wouldn't depend on the sex that I needed from that individual because THEY NO longer gave certain sex acts to me that they used to do...I would outsource. That is all.
     
  17. CeeAttle

    CeeAttle New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    10
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Emerald City
    Right on Dolfette!!!
     
  18. galaxus

    galaxus Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2007
    Messages:
    878
    Likes Received:
    1

    So you would cheat?... great.


    Nobody should be forced to do things that they don't want to do. But if you're a lazy lover and the sex isn't good, then thats your fault.
     
  19. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    It is great. That person doesn't have to do those certain sex acts. Someone else is. Who is cheating? Everyone is happy. I am not depending on that person for certain sex acts, that is all. After all, he doesn't want to do them anymore.

    I am not pressuring anyone to do anything that they aren't into. I am really respectful in that regard. Laziness? Sex isn't good? The fault is not entirely on me. Trust me on that.





     
  20. galaxus

    galaxus Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2007
    Messages:
    878
    Likes Received:
    1
    I wasn't really talking about you in that last part Invisi.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted