dear fuckers,

RamIt

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sexual enjoyment is supposed to be MUTUAL.

if a person does not enjoy oral sex but you do, this does not make them selfish, this makes you incompatible.
if a person does not enjoy anal sex but you do, this does not make them selfish, this makes you incompatible.
if you think sex should last 3o minutes but they want three hours, this does not make you selfish, this makes you incompatible.

nobody has a duty to perform any sexual act they do not enjoy.
nobody has the right to expect his/her partner to perform sexual acts they do not enjoy.

and anybody who can get his/her jollies from an act, whilst knowing full well that their partner is hating every minute, is one step away from being an abuser.

seems simple, doesn't it?

We all know you hate giving head, or should know by now anyway.

Have fun being incompatible with 99 percent of guys.
 

Jovial

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I agree, it doesn't make a person selfish, it makes him/her incompatible.

...but, someone who enjoys doing many different sex acts is a better lover and will have a better chance of being compatible with more people.
 

Drifterwood

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seems simple, doesn't it?

It does, but the sad conclusion as we explore our desires is that at some point we all end up being incompatible.

As invisi says, he can go out and satisfy his needs elsewhere, but pretty much every woman in the world would consider that her partner was a cheating bastard if he went out to get something that she disliked and he respected her not to expect from her.

Tell me about that one. :rolleyes:
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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It does, but the sad conclusion as we explore our desires is that at some point we all end up being incompatible.

As invisi says, he can go out and satisfy his needs elsewhere, but pretty much every woman in the world would consider that her partner was a cheating bastard if he went out to get something that she disliked and he respected her not to expect from her.

Tell me about that one. :rolleyes:
Not every woman, there are some of us that would be open to our mates (and ourselves) seeking what they need outside of the primary relationship.
In my opinion, the important thing is honesty, not hiding needs, and if unable to come to a compromise where both are satisfied by each other, then allowing the freedom to seek it elsewhere (safely, of course).

Oh, and if it wasn't clear in my initial post, I very much agree with Invisi. :yup:
 

Drifterwood

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Not every woman, there are some of us that would be open to our mates (and ourselves) seeking what they need outside of the primary relationship.
In my opinion, the important thing is honesty, not hiding needs, and if unable to come to a compromise where both are satisfied by each other, then allowing the freedom to seek it elsewhere (safely, of course).

Oh, and if it wasn't clear in my initial post, I very much agree with Invisi. :yup:

Yes - we are the exceptions. However it is hard to balance this with people's other agendas of homes and families.

I am not having a go at anyone. Our cultures are sexually repressive. Most people know jackshit about themselves sexually when they enter what they hope to be lifelong partnerships, some even glory in their ignorance. And yet the result is misery misunderstanding and failure.

Oh and then there is the resentment and recrimination. Well, we only have ourselves to blame.
 

dolfette

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So you would cheat?... great.


Nobody should be forced to do things that they don't want to do. But if you're a lazy lover and the sex isn't good, then thats your fault.
or it could mean open relationships.

and, yes, some interest in the other person's pleasure is part of mutual enjoyment.
We all know you hate giving head, or should know by now anyway.

Have fun being incompatible with 99 percent of guys.
you sound a little bitter there, doll.
i've also posted that i'm happy being celibate and single.
i know it's hard for some guys to understand that, as a young & attractive female, my sole purpose in life is not to bag my mr right.
I agree, it doesn't make a person selfish, it makes him/her incompatible.

...but, someone who enjoys doing many different sex acts is a better lover and will have a better chance of being compatible with more people.
well yes, obviously there will be the adventurous and the unadventurous...same as everything else in life.
i'm seeing three choices...you either only stay when the sex is great, you compromise, or you stay in misery and blame the other person for wanting too much or not wanting enough.
 

dolfette

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Do you think it is in some way funny or some type of payback that men can end up with women with whom they are very sexually incompatible?

BTW, I don't disagree with your three choices above, I just sense that you have some of the anger over this.
oh yes!

angry? no. just irritated by reading the same damn posts over and over on various sites.
'boohoo! my evil man hates eating pussy!' replied by 'the bastard! he's gay!'
and the whines about lack of bj/anal/bdsm/swinging/roleplay.
it's like watching a 5y/o throw a fit because it's nobody wants to play their game.

rl i just yell at them until they cry :biggrin1:
 

Ed69

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you sound a little bitter there, doll.
i've also posted that i'm happy being celibate and single.
i know it's hard for some guys to understand that, as a young & attractive female, my sole purpose in life is not to bag my mr right.QUOTE]

I hope that works out for you long term.My mother is in her late 70's and alone/miserable. She thaught that male genitals were just to nasty to touch let alone put her mouth on it!This cost her two husbands over 50 years.Good luck!:smile:
 

dolfette

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I hope that works out for you long term.My mother is in her late 70's and alone/miserable. She thaught that male genitals were just to nasty to touch let alone put her mouth on it!This cost her two husbands over 50 years.Good luck!:smile:
that's sad.
wanting love but not being able to handle sex...

personally, i hate living with a man though. living alone makes me far happier.
 

Jovial

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sexual enjoyment is supposed to be MUTUAL.

if a person does not enjoy oral sex but you do, this does not make them selfish, this makes you incompatible.
if a person does not enjoy anal sex but you do, this does not make them selfish, this makes you incompatible.
if you think sex should last 3o minutes but they want three hours, this does not make you selfish, this makes you incompatible.

nobody has a duty to perform any sexual act they do not enjoy.
nobody has the right to expect his/her partner to perform sexual acts they do not enjoy.

and anybody who can get his/her jollies from an act, whilst knowing full well that their partner is hating every minute, is one step away from being an abuser.

seems simple, doesn't it?
I'll add...it seems simple, but it actually isn't.

You say "sexual enjoyment is supposed to be MUTUAL." but then say "nobody has a duty to perform any sexual act they do not enjoy." I'll agree that nobody has a duty to do anything, but with sex there is often a give and take.

For example, sometimes one partner wants sex and the other is tired but they put in the effort because they know that another time the situation will be reversed.

Some sex acts are performed more for the enjoyment of the partner, but the act is performed with the understanding that the pleasure will be returned in some other way.

So I will say that it is selfish if you don't do the sex acts that you don't enjoy yet still expect the other person to do everything the way you want even if it's not enjoyable to him/her.

And sometimes it's not so clear cut. Maybe one sexual position is slightly more enjoyable for one partner, but they do it for their partner. Another time, they'll do something the other one wants.
 

YoungHungMachine

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I'll add...it seems simple, but it actually isn't.

You say "sexual enjoyment is supposed to be MUTUAL." but then say "nobody has a duty to perform any sexual act they do not enjoy." I'll agree that nobody has a duty to do anything, but with sex there is often a give and take.

For example, sometimes one partner wants sex and the other is tired but they put in the effort because they know that another time the situation will be reversed.

Some sex acts are performed more for the enjoyment of the partner, but the act is performed with the understanding that the pleasure will be returned in some other way.

So I will say that it is selfish if you don't do the sex acts that you don't enjoy yet still expect the other person to do everything the way you want even if it's not enjoyable to him/her.

And sometimes it's not so clear cut. Maybe one sexual position is slightly more enjoyable for one partner, but they do it for their partner. Another time, they'll do something the other one wants.

You are 100pct right this does happen in a good relationship, It tires my ex to ride me but its someting I love so she will do it for me knowing I will return certain favors, its not somethign i demand or she demands, It just happends.
 

D_Seymour_Dix

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Good thread dolfette! And I agree with you 100%. Very much respect the blunt apporch. Now, if only that kind of thinking would sink in with others.
 

hud01

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I'll add...it seems simple, but it actually isn't.

You say "sexual enjoyment is supposed to be MUTUAL." but then say "nobody has a duty to perform any sexual act they do not enjoy." I'll agree that nobody has a duty to do anything, but with sex there is often a give and take.

For example, sometimes one partner wants sex and the other is tired but they put in the effort because they know that another time the situation will be reversed.

Some sex acts are performed more for the enjoyment of the partner, but the act is performed with the understanding that the pleasure will be returned in some other way.

So I will say that it is selfish if you don't do the sex acts that you don't enjoy yet still expect the other person to do everything the way you want even if it's not enjoyable to him/her.

And sometimes it's not so clear cut. Maybe one sexual position is slightly more enjoyable for one partner, but they do it for their partner. Another time, they'll do something the other one wants.
Selfish is the operative word. And it comes across time and time again. Relationships are about many things including compromise, both in and out of bed.

Personally there is nothing better for me than having a girl panting and heaving from what I am doing down there. Well maybe having a girl swallow my entire cock. :biggrin1:

dolfette has anger issues with oral sex and we all know it.
 

dolfette

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I'll add...it seems simple, but it actually isn't.

You say "sexual enjoyment is supposed to be MUTUAL." but then say "nobody has a duty to perform any sexual act they do not enjoy." I'll agree that nobody has a duty to do anything, but with sex there is often a give and take.

For example, sometimes one partner wants sex and the other is tired but they put in the effort because they know that another time the situation will be reversed.

Some sex acts are performed more for the enjoyment of the partner, but the act is performed with the understanding that the pleasure will be returned in some other way.

So I will say that it is selfish if you don't do the sex acts that you don't enjoy yet still expect the other person to do everything the way you want even if it's not enjoyable to him/her.

And sometimes it's not so clear cut. Maybe one sexual position is slightly more enjoyable for one partner, but they do it for their partner. Another time, they'll do something the other one wants.
ahh, this is it.
the difference between 'meh' and 'ew!'
if you want to pleasure another then doing 'meh' is rewarding, because their pleasure is your pleasure. like spending my cash on a birthday present for a friend...yeah, it sucks to part with my cash but it's worth it to see them so happy.
but 'eeew!' is a different matter. and nobody should be labeled an arsehole for finding something 'ew!'. what repulses or hurts you is not your fault.

see? still simple!
Sorry,but I have to ask why?Is it the whole thing with the toilet seat?What is it that makes men so unbarable to live with?:smile:
it's no single thing. and it's not that men suck. honest! i don't hate you all :biggrin1: promise!
 
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