dear gay & bi guys,

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Jul 18, 2009.

  1. dolfette

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    how old were you when you figured out that you were different?
    and what was it like when you were going through puberty?
     
  2. overninept5

    overninept5 New Member

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    Different from what or whom?
     
  3. Novaboy

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    I always knew I was different. Always had girls for friends and liked "girl" things even though I knew I wasn't supposed to.
     
  4. Rubenesque

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    Isn't it a shame when little boys feel they're "not supposed" to like certain things, when really there's no reason in the world why boys wouldn't like playing with dolls or prefer making house to playing with lego.

    I'm sorry for digressing on the original topic, but it's always made me sad. It's perfectly acceptible for little girls to be "tomboys" and parents don't get worried that it means she's a lesbian. I was always climbing trees and messing about in mud, much more fun than playing house!
     
  5. dolfette

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    this is what i thought...

    from how you say it i'd guess this was hard for you, yes?
     
  6. Joseph

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    I always felt different in many regards. Bullies made fun of me and called me gay. And even after they left, I was still so confused about it... I am getting closer to the answer, but I'm still far away from 100% sure-ness.

    It's very hard, I am very sure girls have lesser problems with it when it comes to things like family. I was so frustrated that I hated myself. So it's hard .... I'm bi and all but the way how there's so much homophobia ... It made me scared and it was so hard for me to accept I'm both gay and straight...

    I don't say it openly to anyone, not even my family... just the closest friends. But it's not like I'm hiding my gay side... I'm just not talking about it, same for my straight side! I didn't tell anyone aside from my friends that I had a few girlfriends already.
     
  7. dolfette

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    that sucks :frown1:

    basically, it's a friend of my daughters.
    the kids at school are being quite arseholish about it.
    to be honest i don't know for sure if he is or not.
     
  8. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    I was oblivious to it until way after I got out of high school. Like Joseph, kids would tease and call me gay or a "fairy." Like I put off a vibe or something that other people were more sensitive to than I myself was.

    In hindsight, I can see that I would have little crushes on boys. Really I just wanted to be friends with them. I was as afraid as they were of blatant gay behavior. But still made them nervous. I can remember a couple guys I really wanted to befriend almost running to get away from me and I didn't know why.
     
  9. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    I had my first ever girlfriend at the age of 5 and then continued having them throughout my pre-teens without thinking about anything other than how i enjoyed fooling around kissing, holding hands soppy stuff like that which progressed into you show me yours etc and at one point attempted sex (don't ask suffice to say in the end it was pre adolescence and i coudn't carry out the task).
    It was when i was about 14 that i recall first noticing other lads, well one in particular during Phys Ed lesssons but i didn't think too much of it and continued with an interest in girls up until my mid-teens. At 15 i told myself i was probably just having a phase that i had heard about and at 16 i decided i had to be at least bisexual and then by 17/18 i was accepting i was gay because i had lost all attraction to females and lusting after males.
    I did not have an easy time dealing with my sexuality but i am comfortable with it now.
     
  10. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    I remember two guys I sat by in the ninth grade. One of them in particular appeared to have a large pair of socks shoved down the front of his undershorts. Caught my eye every time. But checking each other out at that age was pretty blatant, so I didn't really think anything much of it. Now I realize I was probably a little too interested.

    Another experience, on our [chaperoned] senior sneak to Jackson, Wyoming, we decided it would be time to purchase our first nasty magazines, because we were old enough. Guys bought Penthouse/Hustler, girls bought Playgirl. Well, there was some interest by both sexes in both types, but me and this one other guy were the ones who were most interested in the Playgirl. I couldn't put it down and looked at it on the back of the bus for an hour.
     
  11. Joseph

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    It's not sure if he is, most likely he's just gentle or a nerd who likes to hang around with one guy in particular who happens to be unpopular as well (or both like in my case). Doesn't have to auomaticly mean he's not straight.
     
  12. dolfette

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    he told me he had a dream about snogging a guy in his class.
    'was it a good or bad dream?'
    a bit of both...
     
  13. DanTheMan

    DanTheMan New Member

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    For me, I realized I was attracted to males as well as females in 7th grade. The odd thing for me is I am attracted to male bodies and parts, but I'm not excited to give or receive anal sex. I've thought about getting and giving oral, but I've never acted it on it. I get sick at the sight and smell of excrement, and that is part of the hesitation. It's also why I don't prefer giving oral sex to women unless they are straight out of the shower.
     
  14. DiscoBoy

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    Before I went through puberty, and even during a part of puberty, I didn't feel any attraction whatsoever to either gender. Growing up, I had plenty of male and female friends. I had both a male and a female best friend, and would play sports with the boys and occasionally be the only boy at an "all girls" party. I knew I was different but I wasn't aware of my sexuality. Only when I hit about 14/15 did I finally start feeling an attraction toward guys. I couldn't understand why and for some reason, being gay just wasn't an option; it never occurred to me. After some time and plenty of mental turmoil, I came to accept it. When I accepted it, I felt amazing. I always thought I'd be lonely forever since I knew I could never be with a woman. It was very confusing and depressing to say the least.

    How old is this boy?
     
  15. lvsxy808

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    I remember attractions to boys since before puberty, probably since about 8 or so. In the last two years of junior school - ages 10 and 11 - we had regular trips from school out to the local public swimming baths. I remember never being able to change into or out of my swimming trunks in front of anyone because it would have revealed my raging erection at the mere presence of other naked boys, even at that age.

    So basically it was at that age that I realized what was going on. I never had any issues with it myself - no drama or denial or refusal to accept the obvious. Never bothered trying to force myself to date girls or anything. I actually never even made much of an effort to hide it from others. Not that I went out of my way to announce it, but frankly, when I came out at age 18, it wasn't much of a surprise to anyone. And since that age I haven't had a moment's hesitation in telling anyone that I'm a 100% homo.
     
  16. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    As a 11 year old, I sat there, and found that I was oddly attracted to men, often coming up with odd fantasies that involved sexual escapades with friends. As I got older, these fantasies got more and more graphic, while I still found myself attracted to women...

    By the time I was 22, I realized I was pretty much hooked to both sexes.

    It was confusing as a child, but something that I grew into. AS for puberty and such, it was odd in the changerooms, but I was controlled.
     
  17. Phil Ayesho

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    I was 11.
    I had been coerced into performing oral on a couple of older teens.
    After a couple of sessions I began to find that I enjoyed doing it.

    By the time I was 13 I was pretty sure I must be gay. I was undoubtedly an enthusiastic cocksucker.


    Then we moved far from there and it ended... over the next few years I was flabbergasted to find that I was far more attracted to girls....
    I realized that I desperately wanted them.. but I had a very hard time connecting with them..

    For a long time I felt like girls could "tell" I was a cocksucker... that it somehow changed me or marked me for life... and that filled me with despair... certain I no longer wanted to be with guys, and equally certain no girl would ever let me touch her.


    But then, at 17, I fell hard for a girl who felt the same about me... and it was transformative.
    We had such a connection with each other... and, although I never told her about my previous experiences, it turned out that being good at fellatio translated into being really great at cunnilingus... she was astounded at my proficiency in giving her multiple orgasms, even tho I had never been with a girl before...

    I was just as surprised as she.

    Over the subsequent years, I have wrestled with occasional yearning for cock... come to grips with my fantasies and my bisexual tastes in porn...
    But only had a handful of further bisexual experiences.
    As much as they satisfy the programming I got as a kid... the connection I feel with a woman is lacking.

    now, I am comfortable with my past, and my present.
     
  18. nazardin

    nazardin New Member

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    Since i was 12 or 13, i had fantasies about the man's cock. I never had the chance until i was about 22 yrs old. Wasted years but really did not know where to find.
     
  19. B_HeartsAfire

    B_HeartsAfire New Member

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    I was very young.
     
  20. Joseph

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    I have to say, it's great to hear things went so "smooth" for you, usually people have problems with that.

    Usually experience is involved, right now I set my profile to 60/40..... ahh to hell with it, I'll set it to 50/50... there! Im a virgin, so I'll need to have both sex with a guy and a girl .... reservations made, heh. But the thing is... sexuality isn't pure sex, it's also emotions, so I'd have to also experience a relationship with both genders to be 100% sure.... yeah complex stuff
     
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