Dear Midwest Diary...

BUSTERHYMAN

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Joined
Oct 28, 2010
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Chi-Town Hustler
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Aug. 1

Moved to our new home in Chicago. It is so beautiful here.

The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered

with snow. I LOVE IT HERE!

Oct. 14

Chicago is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are

turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange.

Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so

graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth.

This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

Nov. 11

Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to

kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and

tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 2

It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in

white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow

off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight

today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the

driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect

harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 12

More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick

again that rascal. A winter wonderland.

Dec. 19

Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to

get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking

Snowplow!

Dec. 22

More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on

my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the

corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That Asshole!

Dec. 25

"White Christmas" my busted ass. More fucking snow. If I ever

get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I

swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't

use more salt on this fucking ice.

Dec. 28

More of the same shit last night. Been inside since Christmas

Day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere.

The car is buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman

says expect another 10 inches of this shit tonight. Do you know

how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

Jan. 1

Happy Fucking New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We

got 34 fucking inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't

melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road

and shit for brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to

borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling

out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel

over his fucking head.

Jan. 4

Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get

food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and

I hit the fucker. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the

hunters would have killed them all last November.

May 3

Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe

the body is rotting away from all the fucking salt they keep

dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of shit.

May 10

Moved back to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their

right fucking mind would want to live in the God forsaken State

of Illinois.