DEAR Mother Nature! (A plea from the marginally-habitable areas of your world!)

[Garth33]

Dear Mother Nature,

I'd call you "mom" but I don't want to be uncomfortably forward and frankly I'm a little PISSED at you so I won't bother trying to appeal to your maternal side.

Among the 50 States of America in the continent of North America of the planet Earth...you have created MANY appealing areas to live! Many with tolerable weather year 'round where many people seem to gravitate too and enjoy. You also support urban centers that power our human economy and tropical paradises that please all of our senses....THEN there's the rest of us that you just SHIT ON CONSTANTLY...dare I inquire why?

YES!! We understand these more tolerable areas have their own issues....TOO MANY PEOPLE...TOO EXPENSIVE TO LIVE...but why the HELL do you punish us for living in a quiet little state like, North Dakota?. People here are farmers...they grow the food and raise the animals to feed your cities YET it seems like you go out of your way to make OUR LIVES a living hell. Stupidly cold (and LONG) winters....short, insect-ridden summers, and (as SEEN on CNN) catastrophic spring-flooding....WHY? It's not bad enough we have to constantly take shit living in a small and irrelevant state? WE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY FIGHT you, your Mother-Nature MAJESTY!!!! A stupid rant? YES! But I feel better getting it off my chest so thanks for reading...

Peace,
G33

 

[Bbucko]

It's the wise lady's way of telling you to move to Florida :wink:

 

[simcha]

It's the wise lady's way of telling you to move to Florida :wink:

...or to really live in style in California. :biggrin1:

 

[B_Nick4444]

give it back to the buffalo

then move to Maui

 

[Bbucko]

...or to really live in style in California. :biggrin1:

If you like earthquakes. :biggrin1:

 

[2322]

It's the wise lady's way of telling you to move to Florida :wink:

Florida?? Hurricanes, rising water levels, lots of drug crime, old people, and a batshit crazy government?

...or to really live in style in California. :biggrin1:

What parts aren't polluted by horrifying smog or McMansion developments are too expensive or remote to live in and the whole damn thing is sliding into the sea neverminding that your city could come down around your head at any time.

New York is far, far, superior!

 

[Bbucko]

Florida?? Hurricanes, rising water levels, lots of drug crime, old people, and a batshit crazy government?

1) We haven't had a hurricane in two years (I'm crazy for even writing that);
2) The water's not due to rise for a few years yet;
3) You watch way too many Miami Vice reruns;
4) You've got me on the old people: when I moved down here, I lost 20 years in age calibration. Fifty is the new thirty
5) Jim Naugle's successfully deposed, thank you Jeebus.

New York is far, far, superior!

Oh yeah...spending $1200 for a three-way share on an efficiency in Brooklyn's my idea of livin' large :biggrin1:

 

[2322]

1) We haven't had a hurricane in two years (I'm crazy for even writing that);
2) The water's not due to rise for a few years yet;
3) You watch way too many Miami Vice reruns;
4) You've got me on the old people: when I moved down here, I lost 20 years in age calibration. Fifty is the new thirty
5) Jim Naugle's successfully deposed, thank you Jeebus.



Oh yeah...spending $1200 for a three-way share on an efficiency in Brooklyn's my idea of livin' large :biggrin1:

There are 47,214 square miles of New York. Only 71 square miles of that belong to Brooklyn. Feel free not to live in Brooklyn. There is a beautiful state connected to the City of New York.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Dear Mother Nature,

I'd call you "mom" but I don't want to be uncomfortably forward and frankly I'm a little PISSED at you so I won't bother trying to appeal to your maternal side.

Among the 50 States of America in the continent of North America of the planet Earth...you have created MANY appealing areas to live! Many with tolerable weather year 'round where many people seem to gravitate too and enjoy. You also support urban centers that power our human economy and tropical paradises that please all of our senses....THEN there's the rest of us that you just SHIT ON CONSTANTLY...dare I inquire why?

YES!! We understand these more tolerable areas have their own issues....TOO MANY PEOPLE...TOO EXPENSIVE TO LIVE...but why the HELL do you punish us for living in a quiet little state like, North Dakota?. People here are farmers...they grow the food and raise the animals to feed your cities YET it seems like you go out of your way to make OUR LIVES a living hell. Stupidly cold (and LONG) winters....short, insect-ridden summers, and (as SEEN on CNN) catastrophic spring-flooding....WHY? It's not bad enough we have to constantly take shit living in a small and irrelevant state? WE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY FIGHT you, your Mother-Nature MAJESTY!!!! A stupid rant? YES! But I feel better getting it off my chest so thanks for reading...

Peace,
G33

Stop asking "why". It's the victim's mantra. Ask yourself what you can do about it, and if the best you can do is to continue to whinge, then you're in for a lifetime of the same shit repeated over and over. In nature, there are no punishments, only consequences.

 

[Captain Elephant]

My part of Florida is not overrun with old people. It's not stereotypical Miami. It's progressive and pretty hurricane-free. The first hurricane to come close was in 2004 and that was the first one that most people around here remember. I've got a beaches within an hour's drive east or west. Some of the best music on the planet is here (all modesty aside). Weather is great year round, except it's been a little cold lately like in the 50s, but we bundle up good with long sleeves.

I never miss the snow, but I do miss the turn of seasons, so I drive five hours north and see the most beautiful leaves in the mountains. An hour further and I can snow ski.

Yes, Mother Nature gets off in Florida and goes North with her PMS.

Gainesville Chamber of Commerce better kick in a few bucks for my broadband this month.

 

[BirdinMo]

My part of Florida is not overrun with old people. It's not stereotypical Miami. It's progressive and pretty hurricane-free. The first hurricane to come close was in 2004 and that was the first one that most people around here remember. I've got a beaches within an hour's drive east or west. Some of the best music on the planet is here (all modesty aside). Weather is great year round, except it's been a little cold lately like in the 50s, but we bundle up good with long sleeves.

I never miss the snow, but I do miss the turn of seasons, so I drive five hours north and see the most beautiful leaves in the mountains. An hour further and I can snow ski.

Yes, Mother Nature gets off in Florida and goes North with her PMS.

Gainesville Chamber of Commerce better kick in a few bucks for my broadband this month.

First off, may I live with you? Please.
Second, you bundle up with long sleeves when it is in the 50's? I start wearing my shorts and flip-flops when it gets into the 50's here!

 

[nudeyorker]

Dear Mother Nature,

I'd call you "mom" but I don't want to be uncomfortably forward and frankly I'm a little PISSED at you so I won't bother trying to appeal to your maternal side.

Among the 50 States of America in the continent of North America of the planet Earth...you have created MANY appealing areas to live! Many with tolerable weather year 'round where many people seem to gravitate too and enjoy. You also support urban centers that power our human economy and tropical paradises that please all of our senses....THEN there's the rest of us that you just SHIT ON CONSTANTLY...dare I inquire why?

YES!! We understand these more tolerable areas have their own issues....TOO MANY PEOPLE...TOO EXPENSIVE TO LIVE...but why the HELL do you punish us for living in a quiet little state like, North Dakota?. People here are farmers...they grow the food and raise the animals to feed your cities YET it seems like you go out of your way to make OUR LIVES a living hell. Stupidly cold (and LONG) winters....short, insect-ridden summers, and (as SEEN on CNN) catastrophic spring-flooding....WHY? It's not bad enough we have to constantly take shit living in a small and irrelevant state? WE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY FIGHT you, your Mother-Nature MAJESTY!!!! A stupid rant? YES! But I feel better getting it off my chest so thanks for reading...

Peace,
G33

I bought a little grass shack in Hawaii if things go south you have a Carte Blanche!

 

[Garth33]

I bought a little grass shack in Hawaii if things go south you have a Carte Blanche!

DONE AND DONE BUDDY! We can call it...the best of ALL WORLDS! (seriously YOUTUBE is the best...you're going to die with this one:tongue

Just a teaser..."hello Props department? We're going to need to hire a bunch of locals...OH and we also need a giant CLAM for Ms. Midler to pop out of for our TV SPECTACULAR!!!"

Enjoy...
YouTube - "Hawaiian Oklahoma" - Bette Midler - NBC [1977]

 

[Garth33]

otherwise...just a cranky rant you guys...sorry. The city I live in (one of ND's 4 majors) was all abuzz about THE murder we had in 2008. Yeah - 1 murder in a city of 60,000 people in an entire calendar year - you can go anywhere here at any hour of day and not have to worry and not too many places can say that. It just sucks to go through 6 months of winter then have to face catastrophic floods JUST when it's warming up...OH and now it's snowing again...Jeezus F*cking Christ!!!!! Charlie BROWN won more than we do!

 

[Bbucko]

First off, may I live with you? Please.
Second, you bundle up with long sleeves when it is in the 50's? I start wearing my shorts and flip-flops when it gets into the 50's here!

You know, you'd think that...I sure did.

But after living in Ft Lauderdale for the last six years, anything below 72 requires socks and sleeves and trouser legs: maybe even a sweater :tongue:

On the plus side, we have eight or nine months pretty much guaranteed to be in the mid-to-high 80s with the kind of humidity that soaks you sitting still in the shade. You wear as little as you possibly can.

 

[D_Hyacinth Harrytwat]

Heh. I heard your neighbours up in southern Manitoba got the same treatment. First everything turned to rivers. Then everyone owned a personal lake or moat (classy!) and then everything froze into slanted skating rinks, which are impossible to walk on, unlike the flat ones. I don't know what it is about prairie ice but it's smooth like polished glass and more slippery than a greased banana peel. Something about footprints in slush that turn into the most perfectly rounded spheres and you can't avoid them.

So sorry you still live there! You have a right to complain. Manitoba was the worst place I ever lived and I'm never going back. Not that I could handle it or ND now anyway :tongue:

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

Come move to Kansas City. No real weather issues other than thunderstorms, some of which can be pretty intense. (Please don't even say tornados, we're so unlikely to be hit by them in the city it's silly.) 4 real seasons, all of equal length, all enjoyable. :biggrin: And you won't get shit on all winter with loads of snow/ice!!

 

[earllogjam]

North Dakota has a $1Billion state surplus and a 4% unemployment rate. You are unscathed by any economic recession. - That's why God has given you bad weather, just so you guys don't get too cocky.

 

[nudeyorker]

Come move to Kansas City. No real weather issues other than thunderstorms, some of which can be pretty intense. (Please don't even say tornados, we're so unlikely to be hit by them in the city it's silly.) 4 real seasons, all of equal length, all enjoyable. :biggrin: And you won't get shit on all winter with loads of snow/ice!!

Kansas City is trying to tell me to stay away, the first time I went there the Plaza flooded, the next time the walkway at the Hyatt collapsed (yes that's is the hotel I was staying at) and the last time there was a tornado by the airport, frankly I'm afraid to come back!

 

[midlifebear]

With a few exceptions I've been rather fortunate. Despite hating everything Ewetaw, I DID grow up in the Beehive State before it became over-saturated with tourists, especially down south among the dramatic outcroppings of rugged red rocks. And life is far from difficult living half the year in Barçelona and the other half in the faded elegance of Buenos Aires. But I did have the misfortune of experiencing a couple of months during the winter in North Dakota where, besides the freezer burn, I was impressed that it's the only place I've been where smoke always escapes a chimney horizontally rather than vertically.

And Mr. Els, yes, most of New York State is rather beautiful. I had the good fortune to live in the caretaker's house (5 bedrooms, 3 baths) that was just uphill and still part of Caramoor, the Rosen Family's estate turned music conservatory in Katonah, NY, for most of 1980-81, except for 4 straight months on Fire Island and every weekend in West Tisbury on Martha's Vineyard. But we couldn't drink the gorgeous, sweet free-flowing artesian well water nor could the residents of most of Westchester County because of the benzine contamination that still lingered in the aquifer from each village's dry cleaner dumping chemicals from the 1920's up until the late 1940's. Although the resevoirs from which Manhattan and New Jersey get their drinking water were pretty much unscathed (signs everywhere threatening trespassers with death if they so much as looked at the resevoirs for too long). I may be mistaken, but those artesian aquifers are still heavily contaminated with benzine from Jersey to Boston.