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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by milkluver, Jul 9, 2008.
I deal with it in my job so I suspect it's a lot different for me. When it's to do with you personally, I think it's a good time to reflect on the person's life and how they'd want you to feel at a time like this.
Sorry I need more info,is it my death,somone in my family,a friend.Clarify please.
I'm guessing one generally doesn't need to deal with their own death darlin, your dead! lol
Oops forgot to sign off on my wifes account!
Some day death will stare you in the face and you will have to deal with your own mortality.Give it another 20 years,shit happens!
If you die suddenly your time to come to terms with it is limited. On the other hand a lot of people know they are dying months ahead of when they die. Coming to terms with a forthcoming death isn't easy for families or the person dying to come to terms with.
It helps if a person has some kind of religious faith. Being a Christian, I believe that I will see the members of my family who have died. Within a year, I lost two grandparents (my mother's parents). If I did not have any faith, I know it would be difficult to handle. I have the reassurance that I will see them again in the not too distant future.
Two issues here. Dealing with your own death, and dealing with anothers death.
Yours: Live each day to the fullest and be the best person you can be. You don't want to reach the end of your life with regrets.
Anothers: I lost several close family members when I was young so I learned the lesson of mortality early on. You can't fool yourself into thinking that everyone you love will be around forever, but you don't go around dwelling on their untimely death either. It's more of the same, live each day with the loved one to the fullest and treat them how you would like them to treat you.
Ultimately, we're in this life on our own. I don't mean that in a negative way. What I mean is that although we can surround ourselves with people we love, we are never guaranteed they will always be there. That is why you have to love yourself, be happy in your own skin, and not be afraid to be alone.
Nobody lives forever.... to this day I'm always amazed when people seems surprised when someone dies. And yes, people die when they are young.... it's not fair, but it happens. You have to accept it and move on. There is nothing you can do to change it.
There are some things you just can't struggle with. Like getting older I'd rather death happen gracefully. I get as upset as I need to; I think about how the dead would want me to feel; I try to remember the best things about the person, but I don't pretend like the dead person was always perfect. I try to never wish the person was still alive. I remind myself that can't happen and I should put that energy into something the dead person would want me to.
As for my own mortality - of which I've repeatedly been reminded - the same basic tenet applies. I will die. I don't know when, but I can guess an age range. I treat my body well (I'd rather not rush things) and try to keep low-stress so I don't shuffle off any time soon. But working myself into a frenzy over my own death won't keep me alive, so I'd rather just wait and see. I figure one of three thigns will happen: Since no one alive knows what happens I'll be in for a new experience; nothing will happen so I won't know any different anyway; or I'll see lots of people I miss.
Nothing more to add?
If you're a person of faith you will find it much easier than if you are not.
Spend your energy being thankful for knowing the person you knew instead of lamenting their death.
You should elaborate.
My own death doesn't worry me, it is going to happen and there is nothing i can do about it so no point obsessing about it. I just hope it isnt painful
Someone else's death, im fine until i see the coffin and then it hits me like a ton of bricks
I come from a pretty close-knit family & I've lost SEVERAL relatives since I was a kid, including all of my grandparents, several aunts & uncles, cousins, and even both of my parents...when I was about 10, my best friend died after a playground accident...and as an adult, I lost one of my best friends after a horrible car accident...and just recently, I lost a favorite uncle...
I learned early on that death is a part of life and that none of us can stay here forever...
It's tough to deal with the losses when they happen, but eventually you have to keep going...sometimes it's easier to handle if your loved one was sick and/or suffering, but it's the sudden, unexpected deaths that are harder to deal with...
How do I deal with death? Basically there's not much I can do besides mourn the loss, feel the sadness, and then move on...
The only thing you can be 100% sure of!!
Sorry.. but I have to respectfully disagree on this one. You may have anecdotal evidence but I just don't see it. I've been an atheist my entire life and have no trouble whatsoever dealing with death. As a matter of fact, every atheist I know has a very healthy attitude toward death.
Im actually hopin for a bit more than 20 years! That will only make me 38!
But we'll see. If I died today i would be happy in the knowledge that I have been the very best I could be. So it wouldn't really bother me, I'm quite a firm believer in fate... Que sera sera after all
Also if you are in a situation where you have been told your life is going to come an end rather soon, theres no point panicking about it cus theres nothing you can do. So just chill and enjoy what time you have left!
In a sense I agree with the previous post. I consider myself an agnostic (yes, we can discuss semantics) and fully believe that from the day we are born we are on an immutable road to finality. The best we can hope for is that we leave a legacy of decency, integrity and perhaps just common good. Regardless of faith and beliefs.
I had more experience with death in my youth than most, so it left me with a profound sense of my own mortality.
Faith, belief or not - that idea still worries all of us.
I became so frightened of mortality, I avoided all possible risks.... but as I got older - I started to realise that it all could end tomorrow, and you have the right and responsbility to get as much out of this life that you can. I don't take "risks" but I don't consider things risks that are normal.
I don't worry too much about death... largely because there's absolutely NOTHING you can do about it.
I see death from an egoistic point of view: I am not afraid of my own death, but of those of my dears: maybe I fear loneliness and the pain of separation.
Death does not scare me, I can speak of it and I try to be of comfort to the ones who faced it. I am comfortable in remembering it: deads are not ghosts there to hurt us, they can comfort us and help us.
Death is unavoidable, you can't escape what God (or destiny, for non believers) has drawn fr you: only thing you can do is to avoid usleless risks.
I know that in a minute all can be finished, so I try to live my life up to my standards, to do everything to prevent thinking "Maybe I could have done better". The thing is that this is impossible: I always think I could have done more.
I also believe there is something after this life, and so I try my best to be a good man, respectful, fair and correct if not always kind.
Sumarizing: I am not afraid of death, but I know I will be never ready to face it.
It must be nice to have had such a care free life up til now. When I was your age I had already been holding a part time job, taking care of my sister and a high school senior. I lost my grandmother that year and how did I deal with that. Well it just plain SUCK!! I never got to say bye one last time, I loved her dearly and I still cry when I think about it. There is now real way to deal with death including the thought of your own.
Dealing with the lost of a loved one if you were close the pain never goes away. I guess for me I know that someday I am going to die so I make every day count. So when death comes a knocking I won't have any regrets.
When I lose a loved one I miss them deeply and never forget what impact they had on my life. In fact there are times I change my course of action because I know that they would not approved of what I did.
There really isn't a real answer to handling death, just a lot of advice. Take it and choose what you want to do with it.
ill say that dealing with the death of a loved one is not easy, because its not natural to deal with death, but also god didnt creat us to die, so the bible says at rev 21 3,4 that death will be no more ,neither will mourning or outcry or pain the former things have passed away. so when we pray the our father prayer we are asking for his will to be done on earth as it is in heaven, so we will see an earth full of meek people not dying one day very soon, the bible says so!!!!