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My father died, a little sooner than expected, earlier this year. After receiving masses of condolences et cetera the first couple of weeks, suddenly friends and acquaintances fell into a deathly silence (admittedly I was also feeling very quiet and was busy processing for a few months).
Anyway, since then I have discovered that the world is basically divided into two groups of people:
A: Those people, normally older, who HAVE experienced the death of a very close friend or family member.
B: Those people, normally younger, who HAVE NEVER experienced the death of a very close friend or family member.
It is difficult to describe the change one experiences. I thought I was prepared, but I did not expect this, could not have foreseen it, and can barely describe it. But basically, the whole world seems completely different, and things that used to be terribly important are now suddenly utterly inconsequential.
People who HAVE had this experience will know what I'm talking about and are usually quite willing to talk about it (once they have gotten over the initial shock, grief and mourning).
People who HAVE NEVER had this experience are a bit like virgins: - naive, coquettish, awkward, insecure, confused, and misinformed; always dancing around, or trying to avoid, the SUBJECT.
I wonder if any other guys (or gals) here at LPSG have experienced this, or have any insight into this (whether having experienced this or not).
(I have to say I feel much more sensitive since this happened, but not necessarily in a bad way. More like, I am just more in touch with my feelings, sentiments, and emotions. If I read a sad story now I can easily start crying because I am more sensitive to other people's sense of pain and loss; whereas before I used to be much more 'controlled' about my emotions and could easily go for years without shedding a tear. It is like my emotions have been de-virginised. Maybe other people don't have to experience death for this to happen. Anyway I'm not sure why I was, and why so many people are, so afraid of crying!?)
Anyway, since then I have discovered that the world is basically divided into two groups of people:
A: Those people, normally older, who HAVE experienced the death of a very close friend or family member.
B: Those people, normally younger, who HAVE NEVER experienced the death of a very close friend or family member.
It is difficult to describe the change one experiences. I thought I was prepared, but I did not expect this, could not have foreseen it, and can barely describe it. But basically, the whole world seems completely different, and things that used to be terribly important are now suddenly utterly inconsequential.
People who HAVE had this experience will know what I'm talking about and are usually quite willing to talk about it (once they have gotten over the initial shock, grief and mourning).
People who HAVE NEVER had this experience are a bit like virgins: - naive, coquettish, awkward, insecure, confused, and misinformed; always dancing around, or trying to avoid, the SUBJECT.
I wonder if any other guys (or gals) here at LPSG have experienced this, or have any insight into this (whether having experienced this or not).
(I have to say I feel much more sensitive since this happened, but not necessarily in a bad way. More like, I am just more in touch with my feelings, sentiments, and emotions. If I read a sad story now I can easily start crying because I am more sensitive to other people's sense of pain and loss; whereas before I used to be much more 'controlled' about my emotions and could easily go for years without shedding a tear. It is like my emotions have been de-virginised. Maybe other people don't have to experience death for this to happen. Anyway I'm not sure why I was, and why so many people are, so afraid of crying!?)