Decreasing my Sex Drive

[4258]

Hi all... The title is kind of tongue-in cheek, but the question is serious. I have my own business (I work at home) and I find I'm constantly distracted by thoughts of sex (and romance, companionship too) and I am looking for ways to channel that energy into more constructive pursuits (paying the mortgage).

I am shy, and I date infrequently, so I'm sure that's part of the problem. Still, I wish that I could put these thoughts aside for awhile, build my business (and my confidence) and only then turn my thoughts to sex and dating.

Does this make any sense? I guess to put it more generally... What techniques do you use to help you think with the big head rather than the little (OK, maybe not so little for the LPSG guys) head. Women, I'm sure have the same problem, so please feel free to weigh in.

I've thought of trying to find a (mostly) NSA type situation so I can just sort of get it out of the way and focus on the work at hand, but that's easier said than done for me (see the shy part above - and there really don't seem to be a lot of women really interested in that).

Thanks in advance for your replies!

 

[11inhorse]

try prozac, you wont be able to even get an erection after you have taken for about 2 weeks.

 

[4258]

I have used similar (SSRI) drugs. I found they don't do anything for my sex drive, just affect erection (only occasionally) and ejaculation (all the time). I guess they affect everyone differently, though.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I had some spur of the moment thought... usually when I can't pay attention to something I just masterbate... clear up the tension, and get on with it... sometimes I have to do it multiple times.

 

[dudepiston]

I'm in almost precisely this same boat. I'll be very interested to see what other people might say to this. I think our sexual needs are just that....needs, and they are natural, but to be honest sometimes my urges do get in the way of otherwise mostly intelligent thought. :biggrin1:

 

[PenisAv]

how old are you?

 

[B_Think_Kink]

He isn't a kid... he has his own buisness.

 

[basque9]

cr8tive: I would not purposefully play around with meds or the like to reduce libido. If you live a long life, you will find that life's events and illnesses can wreak havoc on the systems which create sex drive, and performance! Be careful with your body! Relieve yourself each day until your situation seems right for a mate or significant other!

 

[D_Cliebert_Chodechoker]

Im sorry to be off topic but what kind of bussiness do u own?

 

[4258]

To answer some questions... I'm in my late 30s. My business is web and graphic design and some computer consulting.

Also, donkeyboy9 - I definitely agree with you. The meds were for depression/anxiety. I would never use them just to control my libido. I agree with you about the dangers of that.

Think_Kink - that's a good suggestion. I do masturbate. I just seem get to a point where that doesn't seem to take care of the longings. I think it's emotional as well as physical. The physical release is achieved with masturbation, but the need to connect with other people, physically and emotionally isn't met, and that's what continually frustrates me and distracts me.

Again, thanks to everyone for their thoughts!

 

[viking1]

Hi all... The title is kind of tongue-in cheek, but the question is serious. I have my own business (I work at home) and I find I'm constantly distracted by thoughts of sex (and romance, companionship too) and I am looking for ways to channel that energy into more constructive pursuits (paying the mortgage).

I am shy, and I date infrequently, so I'm sure that's part of the problem. Still, I wish that I could put these thoughts aside for awhile, build my business (and my confidence) and only then turn my thoughts to sex and dating.

Does this make any sense? I guess to put it more generally... What techniques do you use to help you think with the big head rather than the little (OK, maybe not so little for the LPSG guys) head. Women, I'm sure have the same problem, so please feel free to weigh in.

I've thought of trying to find a (mostly) NSA type situation so I can just sort of get it out of the way and focus on the work at hand, but that's easier said than done for me (see the shy part above - and there really don't seem to be a lot of women really interested in that).

Thanks in advance for your replies!

I know exactly where you are coming from. I have had this problem for years. I even asked a medical doctor this same question. The look on his face was priceless. He didn't act like he had ever heard of guy wanting to decrease sex his sex drive. I realise now that I don't want to decrease it.
I just want to enjoy it for as long as possible. Don't try to mess with a good thing. I have masturbated a lot in my life. It doesn't always end the horniness though. Being with a woman wouldn't end it either. Some of us are just that way. I kind of ran in my family to be extra horny. You just have to learn how to control it rather than it controlling you. Enjoy it while you can as the day is coming (if you live long enough) that you can't.
I do understand that it can be very distracting sometimes.

 

[basque9]

the need to connect with other people, physically and emotionally isn't met, and that's what continually frustrates me and distracts me.

Yes that emotional need that gnaws at us is the real bitch! When I was in love with someone who became physically and emotionally incapacitated for a number of years, I poured myself into a fascinating and stimulating hobby , which temporarily overcame my emotional longing for human involvement ! Just a thought!:smile:

 

[Gisella]

Hi all... The title is kind of tongue-in cheek, but the question is serious. I have my own business (I work at home) and I find I'm constantly distracted by thoughts of sex (and romance, companionship too) and I am looking for ways to channel that energy into more constructive pursuits (paying the mortgage).

I am shy, and I date infrequently, so I'm sure that's part of the problem. Still, I wish that I could put these thoughts aside for awhile, build my business (and my confidence) and only then turn my thoughts to sex and dating.

Does this make any sense? I guess to put it more generally... What techniques do you use to help you think with the big head rather than the little (OK, maybe not so little for the LPSG guys) head. Women, I'm sure have the same problem, so please feel free to weigh in.

I've thought of trying to find a (mostly) NSA type situation so I can just sort of get it out of the way and focus on the work at hand, but that's easier said than done for me (see the shy part above - and there really don't seem to be a lot of women really interested in that).

Thanks in advance for your replies!

Well, this situation of you working at home and do not leave to go to work and meet people can take opportunity of you socialize more and people look at you and approach etc..because you say you are shy, then you may have difficult approaching others.

Hmmm..you have ways to find activities you really like outside home and be back home more refreshed or even taking your work outside home (if just a pc that you need) go work sitting a the Borders, Starbuck, Library etc just to brake the routine... Just imagine: your home is your work place and your home too...and after work you still just move to another room and may start feel wanting romance sex etc that you are not having.

Kisses Cr8tive...you seem a very sweet guy and even play accoustic guittar and have many cool qualities too for sure...lets brake the routine ASAP - is my oppinion! :wink:

 

[4258]

Viking 1 said:

You just have to learn how to control it rather than it controlling you.

I think that is key... I guess it's true about a lot of things, but libido and daydreaming (and the dangerous combination thereof) are definitely something I have to fight!

Donkeyboy... I find I'm happiest when I'm really involved in a project, whether it's a hobby or work... Really throwing yourself into something can definitely help you overcome loneliness and forget the lack of physical pleasure. I'm glad you were able to find something to keep you going while remaining supportive of your partner!

Gisella.. Wonderful suggestions! I do better when I get out, even for just a little while and I should try the Starbucks/bookstore thing. My shyness makes me self-conscious in public, but I'm starting to overcome that, I think. Also, thanks for the compliments... You definitely made my day! I will try to think of what you said the next time I am in a social situation and start questioning my abilities!

 

[B_UNKNOWN321]

I had overcharged sex drive as a young man and suppressed it, but I realize now that that was stupid. If you have extreme sex drive then you should utilize it to empower yourself with intense and frequent sexual relationships. Sex is a means of enriching your own sense of self, self esteem and confidence in your ability to affect and impress other, all quite good for the ego and not half bad in letting others enjoy their connections to you more fully.