Deedee & Randall; 1977

[mr mike]

Elena was at the urn pouring a Styrofoam cup of egg coffee by herself when she heard a shrill female voice call her name.

She turned and saw a familiar-looling big woman with cropped salt and pepper hair.

'Why Barbara!' Exclaimed Elena as they hugged. 'How are you? Where's Big Bob?'

'I'm fine, dear,' said Barbara.' Bob's in the men's toilet across the hall. I don't know what's taking him so long!'

Elena poured her a cup of coffee and Barbara led Elena to an empty table.

They both took a sip of the burning coffee.

Barbara grabbed Elena's hand and looked into her eyes. 'I see you're here with Randall. Are you two re-engaged?!'

Elena laughed and slapped the table. 'Oh my gosh, NO, Barbara! I'm still engaged to Roger! He's in the men's room, too! We just drove him and his work partner, DeeDee, to church with us this morning. We're trying to convince him to come every Sunday morning!'

'Well good for you, Elena!' Barbara cleared her throat and leaned in across the table. 'Just between you and me and the cows...the rumor is that you and Randall broke-up because his wazoo was too big!' She stage whispered in her ear.

Elena let go of Barbara's hands and rocked back in her chair, laughing. 'Absolutely true!' She exclaimed.

'REALLY?' said Barbara, taken aback by Elena's honesty. 'I didn't think that was even possible!' She flashed a wink at Elena.

'Well, my girlfriends warned me that he looked like he was really big down there.' Elena laughed.

'Randall DOES look like he's well-built below the waist!' She laughed along.

'And HOW is he built below the waist!' Elena giggled. 'The first time I saw it hard the night of our engagement party, I broke it off. Look at me, I don't even weigh a hundred pounds! He would have killed me!'

'Randall doesn't seem to have any hard feelings for you?.' Barbara observed.

'Oh, he's dating a woman named Cindy who's a divorced mother of three. And I'm engaged to be married to Roger in the spring!'

'I saw them talking together earlier.' Said Barbara. 'They look like they get along.'

'They became buddies when Randall helped us drag my ice fishing shack out onto the lake at his state park.' Said Elena. 'Then Roger invited him to play racquetball at his club last week.' Elena put the side of her hand up to her mouth. 'They took a sauna together afterwards!' She stage whispered.

'You mean they were NAKED together???' Barbara giggled until her face turned red.

Elena bobbed her head furiously. 'He came home and said 'Do you know your ex-fiance has a really big one???'

'I'll bet Randall makes his new girlfriend happy in bed...' Said Barbara in a dreamy voice.

'If your just curious, Barbara ' said Elena. 'I'll ask Randall to show it to you.' She looked over at Randall and DeeDee and Jill sitting at a table half-way across the church basement. 'You REALLY have to see it to believe it!'

Barbara blushed but didn't say no. 'You won't leave me alone with him, will you?' She stammered.

Elena shook her head. 'We'll find an empty room and Roger will be a look out for us when he gets back. Hope you have a tape measure in your purse!' Elena laughed.

'And Bob will never know?' Barbara pleaded.

'And Bob will never know!' Elena pushed out her chair and stood up. She winked at Big Bob's wife before heading over to talk to Randall.

 

[mr mike]

'I want to see it, too!' Said Jill.

'Me, too! I want to see if the rumors are true!' Said DeeDee, wanting to give her friend Cindy a full report.

'Don't I have any say in this?' Asked Randall.

'Here are three lovely well-dressed ladies that want you to entertain them by pulling your pants and underwear to your knees!' Said an exasperated Elena. 'We promise we won't tell, right girls?!'

Barbara, Jill and DeeDee all laughed uproariosly.

'Where to?' asked DeeDee.

'There's a single seater toilet just behind the stage... ' said Elena. 'It locks from the inside.'

'How are the five of us going to fit in there?' Complained DeeDee.

Jill grinned. 'Randall can stand on the toilet.'

The ladies exchanged devilish grins.
Elena stood up. 'Quick. Before the men come back!'

With Elena leading Randall by the hand they headed single file file towards the stairs, Jill motioning a red-faced, but excited Barbara to follow them up the stairs.

As the five conspirators vanished upstairs, the church basement was suddenly flooded with the crowd from the men's room across the hall. Pastor Knutsen leading the way.

 

[B_er]

That story getting more and more interesting, so many well endowed guys and a lot of curiositi about their sizes.

 

[mr mike]

Elena led them single file down the empty hall towards their destination toilet.

'By the way, Randall,' said Elena. 'You remember Barbara, don't you?'

'Big Bob's wife?' Said Randall turning around. 'Of course I do!' He picked up her hand to kiss it.

Barbara blushed and giggled and stared brazenly at the bulge pressing against Randall's chinos.

Jill noticed and laughed. She realized how odd this situation was. She had jacked-off Randall last weekend and Jill was supposed to pretend she hadn't seen his pants python before, but she WAS eager to see it in better light than in a dark parking lot.

'You know I've seen your big dingus before,' giggled DeeDee.

'You HAVE?' said Randall, nervous about what DeeDee was going to say.

'Remember when you pee'd off the foot bridge in the park?' Asked DeeDee. 'There's a wooden foot bridge crossing a creek in the north part of the state park.' DeeDee explained to the girls. 'Randall asked me to turn my back but I turned around anyway and he had it resting on the railing while peeing into the creek with his hands behind his back!' She laughed.

Barbara surprised everyone by laughing and saying 'Did you get splinters in it?'

Randall laughed and shook his head. He realized how strange this situation was. DeeDee, Jill and Elena had all jerked him off in the past week and they were all going to a private place to show a chubby middle-aged farmer's wife his penis and balls.

They found themselves in front of a door next to the stage marked TOILET. Elena knocked timidly and tried the doorknob and pulled the door outward. Giggling and laughing, the five of them crammed themselves inside and shut the door behind them.

Elena switched on the buzzing florescent light to reveal a toilet, sink cloth towel roller and tiny waste basket. Jill locked the door.

'What do you want me to do?' Asked Randall nervously.

'Why don't you stand up on the toilet lid, Honey?' Elena asked.

'I think I'll need help.' Said Randall.

DeeDee and Jill each took an arm and steadied Randall as he stepped up on the toilet lid. As soon as he was steady, Elena stood on front of Randall and unbuckled Randall's belt and unbuttoned his chintos.

Elena turned her head back towards Barbara. 'Wait until you see this!' Eagerly watching Barbara's face, Elena, DeeDee and Jill pantsed Randall.

Barbara did not disappoint. Her jaw dropped and her face turned crimson. She started giggling uncontrollably.

'Congratulations, Randall!' Jill said with a smirk.

'Woweee...' DeeDee's voice trailed-off. She decided not to tell Cindy about this after all.

Barbara reached out and squeezed Randall's penis in both hands. 'It's so BIG!' She marveled.

'Big AND ugly!' Laughed Jill, digging in her purse.

'Barbara!' gasped Elena, slapping her hands. 'You can look, but not touch!'

'Oh, give Barb a break will you?' Complained Jill. 'She can play with her husband's teenie-weenie anytime! Now let go for a second, will you, Honey?' Jill squirted hand lotion along the top of Randall's growing shaft. 'Go for it.'

Barbara resumed squeezing, twisting and pumping Randall's now slippery shaft with both hands.

'He's bigger than the men in PLAYGIRL!' said Barbara in a joyful voice.

'You read PLAYGIRL, Barbara?' asked DeeDee.

'I have a subscription Bob doesn't know about,' said Barbara. 'He got a subscription to PENTHOUSE, so I got my own subscription to PLAYGIRL. I get the mail, so he doesn't know I have it!' Barbara laughed at her cleverness.

'Doesn't PENTHOUSE show pubic hair?!' Asked Elena.

Everybody nodded.

'Disgusting!' Exclaimed Elena.

Jill dug in her purse and pulled out a skinny joint and Bic lighter. 'I'll bet Barb has a 'neck massager' she uses when she reads a PLAYGIRL, huh?'

Barbara nodded, giggling, not taking her eyes off the enormous bent erection on her hands.

'I knew it!' Laughed Jill. 'Don't be embarrassed. We all have one, don't we girls?' She lit the joint.

'What's that?' Asked Barbara.

'Pot.' Said Jill, blowing a lungful up at the vent fan. 'Ever smoked some before?' Randall instantly recognized the sticky Angolese weed.

'What do I look like? A hippie?' Laughed Barbara. She watched as the joint went around.

'Let me try some then!' Said Barbara.

DeeDee dutifully held the burning joint to Barbara's lips. She sucked in a lungful and held it in like a pro.

DeeDee watched as Barbara masturbated Randall at lightning speed, Barbara's tongue sticki g out of the corner of her mouth. 'You have a nice technique, Barby ' She said in a dreamy voice. ''I'll bet it's from practicing on your husband. Does he have a big one, too?'

Barbara laughed and shook her head. She let go one hand of Randall's erection and held her thumb and forefinger two inches apart. This was the first time Barbara had let anyone know her husband had a small penis and it was liberating.

'My husband, Bill, had a little one too!' Laughed Jill. 'Wait until you see it! You'll laugh your ass off!'

'My fiance, Charles, has one that hasn't grown since he was a little boy!' Said DeeDee, pulling a crumped tissue from her purse and pressing it to the end of Randall's erection just in time.



'I'm going to come in a minute!' Randall whispered through clenched teeth.

 

[B_er]

WOw, Big Bob it's not really big?
that is a plot twist.

 

[mr mike]

Big Bob the farmer got his nickname because he is supposed to be over 6ft & really fat.

 

[mr mike]

DeeDee tossed the doubly-soiled tissue in the trash can when a sharp rapping came at the door and the locked doorknob rattled.

Everyone froze on terror.

'BUSY!!!' grunted DeeDee.

'OOPS! Sorry!' came the voice of Pastor Knutsen. 'Are you alone in there?'

'PARDON ME???' DeeDee replied.

They listened to the pastor's footsteps walking away.

They started breathing again and they burst-out in stoned snickering.

'You saved all our butts, DeeDee!' Elena slapped her on the back.

'And that grunting, DeeDee!' Jill exaggerated DeeDee's constipation sound effects and double-overed laughing.

'Don"t bogart that joint, Barbara!' Said DeeDee, laughing in relief. 'Where'd you learn to smoke pot of this is your first time?'

Barbara sucked on another lungful, held it in, handed the half-burned skinny joint to DeeDee, then blew it at the noisy exhaust fan. 'Those color DRAGNET reruns, ' she said. 'I love the episodes about hippies.'

'Last week they had on one of my favorite episodes!' exclaimed Jill. 'The one where the hippie couple got so stoned they forgot about the baby in the bathtub! 'When will they learn, Joe? When will they learn?' She imitated Gannon and burst-out laughing.

"Little help here...please?' The ladies turned their attention Randall still teetering on the toilet lid, his chinos and boxers bunched-up around his knees. Elena and Barbara helped Randall down to the floor, his over-sized limp cock and balls swaying.

Randall shuffled to the sink where DeeDee was waiting. Elena, Barbara and Jill watched DeeDee soap-up and wash Randall's penis in such a practiced and rehearsed manner, they all realised they were witnessing an obviously routine act.

'I'll bet you make your girlfriend really happy!' Giggled Barbara, unable to tear her eyes away from Randall's hand-soaped-up penis in DeeDee's loving hands.

'Cindy has made me a very happy man since our first date!' Randall boasted. 'I'm so grateful DeeDee introduced us!'

'AWWW...' groaned Elena and Jill.

DeeDee beamed as she pulled down the roller towel, crouched in front of Randall's crotch, roughly dried-off his genitals and shocked her girlfriends by grabbing the limp shaft in the middle and raising the red glans to her lips before realizing she had an audience.

'Oh, don't stop on our account, DeeDee!' snickered Jill.

Elena"s eyes were wide open in shock, her hand covering her open mouth.

Ears burning with embarrassment, DeeDee stood-up and helped Randall pull up his pants and stuff his cock away. She even pulled-up his fly.

'Ummm...I need to take care of some business,' said Randall. 'Why don't I join you ladies downstairs on a few minutes?'

They all nodded and Elena turned tbe lock and opened the door far enough to look outside. Seeing no one, she walked out of the toilet and motioned her female companions to follow.

'I hope Bob doesn't find out about this!' Said a pot-paranoid Barbara. 'It would break his heart!'

'We're not going to tell him, Barbara!' Jill rolled her eyes.

'This is just between us girls.' Elena zipped her lips.

'You definitely passed the initiation into our club!' Laughed Jill.

'Ranger Randall won't tell him, will he?' asked a worried Barbara.

'He wouldn't dare!' declared Elena
.
'Randall's not that kind of asshole,' said DeeDee. 'Besides, handjobs aren't cheating, are they, girls?

Elena and Jill laughed and shook their heads.

'If they are, me and you are in big trouble, huh DeeDee?' Jill laughed and pushed DeeDee's shoulder from behind.

Elena decided to change the subject
'Where'd you get that fantastic weed, Jill?'

'Me and Bill brought a suitcase full of it coming back from Rhodesia. It's supposed to be from Angola,' said Jill. 'Let me know if you girls want any and I'll give you a discount.'

'Deal,' said Elena.

Hey, Barbie,' said Jill, slyly. 'You say you have a stack of PLAYGIRL's?'

Barbara blushed, giggled and nodded her head.

'How about I come over when your husband's gone and we can read them together?'

'REALLY?' Barbara was flattered by the offer of an intimate friendship with the petite, gaunt, blonde missionary, twenty years her junior.

Jill dug in her purse for a scrap of paper and scribbled her and Bill's phone number on it. She handed it over to Barbara along with a skinny joint.

'The first one's free!' Laughed Jill.

'Big Bob plays dominoes with the boys at the feed store every Tuesday night.' Said Barb. 'Bring one of your funny cigarettes!'

'I'll bring along my "neck massager", too,' Jill flashed Barbara a wink. 'Let's compare and see who's got the longest!'

























'



Barbara squeezed herself to the sink and grinning, washed her hands.

 

[mr mike]

Randall decided to give the ladies a ten-minute headstart before going to join them on the church basement.

He re-locked the door before peeing and flushing. He still had a few minutes left & had a wicked thought. He took a ballpoint pen from his sportcoat jacket and pressed his limp penis against the back of the wooden door.

As he clumsily traced the outline of cock, he thought of his new friend, Barbara, the farmer's wife with the kindly face and manner, who complimented his penis' shape and size and gave him the best and most self-confident handjob in along time.

Randall's flaccid penis grew more turgid pressed against the wooden door as he longed to be alone naked with Barbara, laying sprawled and spread eagle on the bed while Barbara knelt between his legs as she gently held and quietly kissed his raging erection, alternating sighs and barely audible compliments about her object of worship.

Randall looked down and saw he was soon going to be walking around with an unmistakable erection. He ahoved his half-hard pecker back onto his pants and down his left leg. He washed his hands and wrote RR in the outline of his penis before leaving to find DeeDee and get a ride home.

He encountered Pastor Knutsen pn the stage in the empty auditorium under the huge backlit cross.

'Ive been looking for you, Randall!' He said in an angry voice.

Randall had always hated these kind of asshole seargeants and officers when he was in the Army and was always looking for a way to humiliate them when he came across them as a civilian.

'Yes, Pastor?' Randall asked.

'So what's your side of the story? Why did you punch Augustus in the nose?' He was almost nose to nose with Randall.

Randall remained 'What did Augustus tell you?'

Pastor Knutsen grabbed tbe lapel of Randall's sportcoat and pulled him to the side of tbe stage so they would be out of sight.

Pastor Knutsen was about to speak when he happened to look down at Randall's chinos restraining his balf-hard dick. He stared at it silently for a moment. 'Holy Fucking Shit.'

Randall giggled good-naturedly. 'Would you like to see it again?' He asked innocently. 'You can decide for yourself if Augustus is telling the truth, ok?'

Tbe pastor stared silently at Randall's crotch as if hypnotized.

Randall gave a heavy sigh and turned and walked towards the one-seater toilet he had just left. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Pastor Knutsen was hurrying to catch-up.

 

[mr mike]

Randall knocked gently at the toilet door and jiggled the locked handle.

'OCCUPIED!' A gruff male voice responded.

'Let's go to my office,' Pastor Knutsen whispered in Ranger Randall's ear. I can lock it from the inside and there's no windows!' He strode off and Randall hurried after.

No one saw them as the pastor escorted Randall into his small but tidy, windowless office and locked the door behind them.

Pastor Knutsen sat in his plush leather office chair behind his oak. desk and put his hands behind his head. A look of expectation on his face as he calmly stared at Randall's rage erection that was threatening to tear through his pant leg and proudly display itself.

'So, Randall. Why DID you punch Augustus on the nose?' asked the pastor.

'Well,' Ranger Randall began, deciding to tell him the truth. 'I went into the basement men's room while you were giving the sermon, and since no one else was in there, I decided to wash-off my penis in a sink-'

'WHAT?! WHY?!' blustered Pastor Knutsen.

'To wash lipstick prints off it...' Randall said as if explaining to a moron.

Pastor Knutsen's face turned crimson. 'Who put lipstick prints on your cock!' He thundered, pounding his desk.

Randall just looked at him.

'So you snuck a woman into tbe men's toilet?' He asked starti g to calm down.

Randall shook his head. 'SHE snuck me into tbe ladies toilet. It was HER idea.' Randall explained calmly.

Pastor Knutsen just glared at him.

'Anyway, to get back to my story, Randall continued. 'I was just mindi g my own business washing lipstick off my cock in the sink, when Augustus walked in. We exchanged greetings and when he saw what I was doing he pulled his out and made a crude suggestion what he was going to do to my girlfriend. That's when I punched him in the nose. I was defending her honor.

'So it was your girlfriend's lipstick on your penis?' Asked the humble man of god.

Randall looked at him curiously. 'Of course not. My girlfriend isn't here. She goes to another church acrpss town. They live in the same apartment building and know each other, though.'

'So what did Augustus say he was going to do to your girlfriend?'

Randall blushed. 'It was really crude.'

'You know, Pastor, I've been thinking that there's a way to settle who's telling the truth. Augustus is saying that we compared dicks in the downstairs men's toilet, and I punched him in the nose because I was jealous of his endowment.

Pastor Knutsen nodded, getting it. He was back to staring at Randall's rage erection. 'You mean you both pull your dicks out together and who ever has the biggest dick is the one telling the truth?'

Randall nodded, smiling.

Pastor Knutsen put on a wide grin. I'd be more than happy to get you two in the office with a tape measure-'

Randall shook his head. 'That wouldn't be fair, just having YOU
judge!'

'What do you mean?' He asked.

"How about...' Randall rolled his eyes to the ceiling. 'We each get measured five different times by five different people, and winner is three out of five. How does that sound?'

Randall thought the pastor's head was going to explode. 'ARE YOU MAD???'

'Just ask for volunteers at the pulpit next Sunday. Men or women. It doesn't matter to me...' Randall's voice trailed-off.

A doorknob jiggling followed by sharp rapping on the door.

'Pastor Knutsen??? Are you in there??? Why is the door locked???

 

[mr mike]

'It's my secretary, Julia!' Pastor Knutsen whispered in a panicked whisper. 'She's blackmailing me!'

'Just a second, Julia!' He said in the same panicked voice.

Pastor Knutsen tip-toed to the door. 'I'll be out in a few minutes, Julia. I'm counseling a parishioner.'

'You know you're not supposed to do that behind closed doors, anymore!' came a shrill voice. 'Especially not a LOCKED door!'

Pastor Knutsen opened the door a crack and attempted to speak to his secretary 'Julia-' he opened the door wider to slip out and Randall saw a tall, gossipy-looking woman with no chin on tiptoes looking over Pastor Knutsen's shoulder and frowning at Randall through judgmental squinting eyes. Then she noticed Randall's rude bulge and laughed when her eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. Randall laughed and waved to her as Pastor Knutsen slipped out and shut the door behind him.

Randall went over and pressed his ear against the door.

'Who is THAT?!' He heard Julia say.

'His name's Randall. I'm counseling him! Really!' Pastor Knutsen said in a quavering, cowardly voice.

'Counseling him like you counsel Augustus I suppose!' Julia let out a mocking laugh. 'Remember! I know your ex-wife and why she REALLY divorced you!'

Randall heard the voices retreat and he realized the pastor was pulling his snooping secretary down the hall, away from the door.

Randall laughed and locked the door. Time for some fun at Pastor Knutsen's expense!

 

[mr mike]

Randall walked Pastor Knutsen's office in a mischief making mood.

He saw a brand new 1976 blotter covering his desk. Randall sat down and examined the neat handwriting on the calendar dates of Sunday sermon subjects, church picnics, church bowling nights. Almost all the dates of the year had been written in blue ballpoint pen.

Randall had an idea. He looked in the desk drawers until he found a red felt tip.

He stood behind the desk and pulled his pants and underwear to his knees and plopped his still raging erection on the blotter and traced the outline of his dick on the blotter. Them he moved over a step and traced it again. On the third dick tracing, the buzz from Jill"s sticky, black African weed wore-off, his penis started to soften and he lost interest. Bored, he pulled-up his pants and sat down on the leather office chair. Randall reached onto the inner pocket of his sport coat and pulled out one-by-one a metal film cannister, a Bic lighter and his brass pipe.

Randall had just finished the bowl when the doorknob rattled and a sharp rapping came from the door.

''Open up, whoever's in there!' Came Julia's shrill voice.

Randall laid his pipe on the oak desk and got up to unlock the door.

Julia, dressed in a tall wig and canary yellow pantsuit, burst onto the office.

'Hey Julia,' Randall said through bloodshot slit eyes. 'Where's's Pastor Asshole?'

Julia studied Randall, them softened her reaction. 'Aren't you the guy who used to be engaged to Elena? The tiny woman who looks like Mia Farrow from Rosemary's Baby, only with white hair?'

Randall nodded.

Julia sniffed loudly. 'What are you DOING in here with the door locked?!' She demanded.

'Smoking dope.' Answered Randall. He couldn't exactly deny it.

'Got anymore?' She asked.

Randall tapped out the ashes on the pastor's desk and refilled the bowl.

Julia relocked the door and joined Randall on the 20 year-old sofs across from the desk.

Randall lit the pipe and handed it to Pastor Knutsen's secretary.

She took a deep drag and held it in before exhaling with a groan of pleasure. She handed the pipe back to Randall and asked 'So what were you and Pastor Knutsen DOING in here, anyway?'

'He found me alone after his sermon and said that he knew I smoked pot and wondered if I would smoke some with him.' Answered Randall.

'That hypocrite!' exclaimed Julia. 'Do you know how many sermon's he preached about the evils of drugs?!'

'Where is he, anyway?' Asked Randall.

Julia snorted smoke through her nose. 'I told him that Eve called me and said Augustus had a stroke and was in St Mary's in Milwaukee and Pastor Knutsen sped away to see him.'

'Oh no!' said Randall, alarmed.

Julia laughed. 'I just said that to get him out of church. I wanted to see who you were without him blocking the door.

This time, Randall laughed.

'So why DID you punch Augustus in the nose this morning?'

'Eve and Augustus live in the same apartment building as my girlfriend Cindy. Me and Augustus were alone in the basement men's toilet and I was washing up at the sink. Augustus walks up next to me and whips out his cock and says he's going to show it to Cindy and then give her mouth a good fucking. So I punched him in the mouth.'

'I believe you,' said Julia. 'That sounds exactly what that asshole would say. I can't believe he's the youth minister!'

After the first bowl was burnt, Julia asked him if he had anymore, so Randall lit-up another bowl

He noticed that Julia was one of those people who's personality changed for the better when they smoked pot.

Sober, Julia looked mean and had a sour personality. Stoned, she couldn't stop laughing and had a sarcastic sense of humor. She told him the more salacious gossip of the parishioners and had no idea if it was really true.

When the second bowl was done, Julia looked at him and asked if she could ask him a personal question.

Randall nodded.

'Will you be my new pot dealer?' She asked. 'The guy I used to buy from moved out of state last Spring'

Randall thought about it. He also thought this was going to be the last time he went to this church, so what did he have to lose.

'I will for a handjob,' he told her.

'You want to be jerked-off by the old widow lady?' Asked Julia. 'Why?'

Randall laughed. Despite her lined face, he knew she was only about ten years older than him. 'Because the rumor is, that your better at it than any other lady here in church!' he teased.

Julia opened her purse and dug out a packet of tissues and a small bottle of hand lotion. 'You know what? Those rumors are true!' She smiled at Randall.

 

[mr mike]

Randall laughed in stoned delight. The thought of his cock being played with by a third woman this Sunday morning was making him hard AGAIN and made him re-consider his decision about not going to church anymore!

He stood- up, took off his sport coat, and dropped it over the arm of the sofa. Without hesitation he stood in front of Julia the church secretary and pulled his pants and boxers to his ankles. He proudly put his hands on his hips.

Julia, sitting on the couch, looked at the rapidly rising dick in front of her for a few moments, then looked up at Randall with a look of disappointment.

'Oh,' she said quietly. 'I didn't know this was going to be a pity handjob.'

Randall's face fell.

'I mean, how am I going to jack you off without a tweezers and a magnifying glass?!' Julia laughed. She gave the Randall's swollen glans a gentle slap that got his big bent boner swaying.

'Wait!' she exclaimed. She jumped up and ran to the desk. Randall's erection turned to follow it's object of desire and forced the rest of Randall to turn with it.

Julia rifled through the pastor's desk until she triumphantly pulled out a magnifying glass. Then she noticed the defaced desk blotter.

'Did YOU do this?' She asked the guy with the bobbing dick and pants around his ankles standing in front of her.

'Yup.' Answered Randall. 'I got bored waiting for him ro come back.'

Julia through her head back and laughed. 'He worked so hard on that! He's going to be SO mad!'

Randall gave her a 'so what?' look.

Julia looked like a light bulb went off over her head. Without saying a word, she took the cheap tin globe on the desk and laid it on its side.

Randall looked at Julia curiously as she walked towards him and grabbed his gently bobbing hard-on. She pulled him towards the glob and lay it on the globe along the equator line. Randall's downward bending erection perfectly matched the curvature of the earth.

'What are you doing?' Randall asked.

Julia grabbed the red felt tip and carefully traced Randall's massive erection.

'Lift up your little wee-wee, would you please?' asked Julia.

Randall did as requested and soon four of his dicks, spaced about an inch apart, circled the globe.

Julia put the globe back upright on the corner of Pastor Knutsen's desk and slowly spun it as they both laughed and admired her handiwork.

'I hope I'm here the next time he walks into his office!' Laughed Julia. She pulled Randall by his pecker back to the sofa with the magnifying glass in her other hand...

 

[mr mike]

Julia squirted lotion onto her hands and was about to entertain the massive cock bobbing in front of her, when she hesitated.

'You're girlfriend Cindy, isn't here is she?' She loomed up at Randall with a worried expression. 'I wouldn't want her looking for you!'

'Cindy's at her parent's house with her three boys in West Allis, where she grew up.' Answered Randall.

A look of relief washed over her face as she unself-consciencely grabbed the erection in front of her with both hands.

'You're dating a divorced mom with three kids? Good for you!' Julia exclaimed. 'Why did they get divorced?'

'He left her for a younger woman who dumped him when he couldn't pay her rent anymore. Now he wants her back.'

'Does he know his ex-wife is dating a guy with a python in his pants?'

Randall laughed. 'Do you REALLY think I have a python in my pants, Julia?' Asked Randall, fishing for compliments.

'You know what I think?' Asked Julia, who had taken away a hand to examine the specimen before her, better.

'What?' asked Randall., his eyes closed to concentrate on Julia's excellent technique, the end result of her giving hundreds of handjobs over the decades.

'I'll bet if measured all the veins on your cock they would stretch to the moon!' Laughed Julia.

Randall laughed at the unexpected response. 'What's your favorite one?' He asked her. 'Everyone who's held it has a favorite!'

Taking him seriously, Julia wiped her hands on some tissues and examined the fat, veiny pecker in front lf her with the pastor's magnifying glass.

'The one on the right side that looks like a lightning bolt,' she said after careful consideration and a tracing with her index finger.

'Cindy's favorite is thel long straight fat one along the underside,' said Randall.

'THAT would be my second choice,' said Julia after some thought. She grabbed his big bent erection and started expertly pumping.

'You've done this before!' Randall laughed in stoned delight.

'Damn right I have!' Laughed Julia. 'Hundreds of times!'

'I knew it!' gasped Randall.

'That"s one heck of big cockhead, you've got there!' Said Julia, giving it a close examination.

'It's been that big ever since I can remember. ' said Randall. 'It was so embarrassing.'

'Is it embarrassing to have such a big one?' asked Julia.

'Sometimes,' answered Randall truthfully. 'My bulge has always gotten a lot of unwanted attention because no matter what I wear I can't disguise it.'

'Oh boo- hoo!' Laughed Julia. Everywhere you go, people know you're hung!'

'Cindy says I need to have a sense of humor about it,' admitted Randall. 'She makes a game of it. When we go on a date, she counts how many people check-out my crotch!' He laughed.

Julia laughed along with him. 'I'll bet it's mostly guys,' said Julia.

'Mostly,' said Randall. 'But sometimes she catches a woman who will glance at my crotch real fast, then smile at her!'

Julia laughed. 'Do you think sometimes that Cindy might be dating you for your over-sized penis? You know, like to get back at her ex-husband and brag to her girlfriends?'

'She admitted that after her third kid, she couldn't feel her husband inside of her anymore.' admitted Randall.

'I'll bet she doesn't have that problem with you!' Julia laughed. 'And I'll bet after her pumping-out three kids, you didn't spend a lot of time breaking her in, either!'

'Julia!' Laughed Randall,

'I'm right though, huh, Randall?' She's using you and you're using her because you don't have to struggle that much to get all the way inside her pussy!' She laughed. 'Tell me I'm wrong!'

Julia realized he was close to finally coming. She pressed a crumpled tissue at the end of his erection and reached down to squeeze his balls. 'These really have a nice heft to them!' was her last words before he came groaning into the tissue.

'I've still got it!' Julia cackled. 'Thanks for not getting any on my pantsuit!'

She cleaned him and ber hands off with wet wipes from her purse and carefully blotted Randall's softening dick with more tissues.

Randall pulled-up his boxers and chinos while Julia scribbled on a piece of church stationary at the desk.

'Here's my telephone number.' She handed him the paper. 'When can you get me a half-ounce?'

Randall thought about it. 'Tomorrow night?'

'You'll sell it to me at cost, right?' Julia demanded.

Randall thought about it. 'And a pity handjob?'

Julia threw her head back and laughed. 'Okay, Peewee. 'I'll have my magnifying glass and tweezers ready!'

 

[OldFirm08]

Readers note

I grew up in WI in the 70's a little town in western WI.

My father actually worked for the DNR as Forest ranger and also around 74 took over managing the local state park.

Much of the story rings very true. It like many parks had one of those built by the CC "picnic shelters" and i do not know if there is an actual County HWY TT but that is how they were designated.

One thing and I do not know why you added it and now have it be a recurring thing for some reason was the drug use.

It is not like they test for it or anything but still drug use of any kind by 30's something state employees on the job or even off the job was somewhere between extremely rare and non existent if for no other reason that lack of availability

"drinking on the job" almost never happened and either one would get you fired which was something most state employees wanted to avoid

In the little town I grew up in 1616 pop and graduated high school in 1979 I never once smoked MJ, never saw anyone do it never heard of anyone doing it.

A UW "college town" that was like 40 miles away there may have been some but I do not know but I do know that in the 10 years living in the media market of the one and only TV station an NBC station in that city I never heard of any kind of "drug bust" and never read about it in the paper I delivered for about 6 or 7 years

I can totally relate to this story in late 70's Wisconsin,, at DLSP.....(with cute danger-Rangerette Melody XXXXXX as the lead character). Such wild drug and sex parties we campers had at the south shore campground back then, all day and night. Fucked a park worker in my tent for 4 hot sweaty hours one day, in campground with kids and families only 20 ft. away on other sites. . No wonder they closed it up in mid 80's due to all of our porn filled nights.. Dad's who brought their teen daughters there to camp and hike in summer those years, could be sure that their girls would get all cocked up and sucked plenty of cum by the end of their visit and full of good weed and pills too. !!!

 

[mr mike]

Randall and Julia and visined their eyes and popped a stick of Juicy Fruit in their mouths before Randall left to find his companions.

Still buzzing, Randall saw DeeDee, Elena and Roger waving frantically at him from the end of an empty long table.

Randall put his sport coat that he had been carrying over his shoulder, on the back of a folding chair and sat down to his frantic friends.

'Where have you been?' asked Elena and DeeDee at the same time.

Roger laughed 'Man, you are high!'

'Pastor Knutsen had been looking for you!' Elena announced.

'He found me upstairs,' said Randall. 'He pulled me aside and daid he knew I smoked grass and asked if we could smoke some in his office.'

'So that's where you been, Randall?' asked Roger, laughing. 'Getting high with the Pastor?'

Randall nodded.

DeeDee laughed. 'So that's why no one could find him! He was getting high with you!'

'THAT hypocrite!' exclaimed a furious Elena. 'Do you know how many anti- drug sermon's he's given?! He thinks pot is as bad as heroin!'

'Not only that,' said Randall.' He asked me if I would be his dealer'.

Randall thought Elena's head would explode at this news.

'So, what are we going to do this afternoon?' asked Randall.

'We were thinking of going to THE SMORGASBORD' said Roger. 'We'll get high in their parking lot and get the munchies first!'

'I'm out.' Admitted Randall. 'Pastor Knutsen and me smoked it all.'

'Where is he, anyway?' Asked DeeDee. 'He must be high as fuck!'

'LANGUAGE, DeeDee' said Elena, sternly. 'Remember, you're in church!'

'Don't worry,' said Roger, 'I've got some! Let's go, gang!'

The four stood up and headed to their respective restrooms before heading out.

The men's toilet was empty and Randall and Roger sidled up to the two middle toilets. They both pulled their pants down past their butts.

Roger looked down brazenly at the pizzle in Randall's hand. Feeling cocky, Randall stepped back and gave Roger the opportunity to fully admire a cock that three women had played with in the past few hours.

'How long is it when it gets hard?' Asked Roger.

'I'm not sure,' said Randall. 'Cindy measured it when it was hard once. I forgot to look. If you want, next time we're together, you can ask her. So has anyone ever measured YOUR cock, Roger?' he teased.

Roger blushed and shook his head as they both flushed and pulled their pants up.

Elena and DeeDee walked out of their stalls in the empty ladies toilet and headed to the sinks.

As they were washing their hands, Elena looked both ways to confirm they were alone.

'So how long have you and Randall been having an affair?' She asked.

DeeDee knew this question was coming, but it still took her by surprise.

'We're not really having an affair,' said DeeDee.

'Oh, REALLY,' said a skeptical Elena.

'I started working with Randall at the state park this Spring, not long after you and him broke-up. I was having problems with my fiance, Charles at the time-'

'What kind of problems?' Asked Elena curious.

'Charles quit paying attention to me in bed, if you know what I mean.' said DeeDee.

'So he was having an affair?' Asked Elena.

'I discovered he was beating-off to PLAYBOY and PENTHOUSE every chance he could, like he was a 14 year-old boy.' DeeDee said in an anguished tone.

' You mean he would rather do THAT than put it between the legs of a real live woman?' asked Elena, shocked. She didn't know that her fiance, Roger, was obsessed with the big penis she had dramatically rejected, and was trying to recruit an uninterested Randall into being his latest jack-off buddy.

DeeDee nodded, tears forming from the humiliation.

Elena dabbed DeeDee's cheeks. 'So are you still engaged to Charles, DeeDee?'

'He's going to meet us at the smorgasbord!' Said DeeDee. 'Let's go. I think the boys are probably waiting for us.'

 

[phonehome]

I can totally relate to this story in late 70's Wisconsin,, at DLSP.....(with cute danger-Rangerette Melody XXXXXX as the lead character). Such wild drug and sex parties we campers had at the south shore campground back then, all day and night. Fucked a park worker in my tent for 4 hot sweaty hours one day, in campground with kids and families only 20 ft. away on other sites. . No wonder they closed it up in mid 80's due to all of our porn filled nights.. Dad's who brought their teen daughters there to camp and hike in summer those years, could be sure that their girls would get all cocked up and sucked plenty of cum by the end of their visit and full of good weed and pills too. !!!

I assume "DLSP" is "Devils Lake State Park"

A Park in the southern part of the State, MUCH closer to Madison or Milwaukee

About a 30 minute drive from Madison

BTW it IS still open

His description of the general area and distances to Superior WI puts the park in question the North West part of the state,

Hayward, Ashland, Rice Lake would be a cities in that area all with populations less than 10,000 all places I have been and are MUCH like where I grew up

Maybe it was different in and in the immediate area of Madison or Milwaukee but "up north" in part of the state I know because I grew up there drug use, any drug among 30 something adults, which Randall and Cindy both are was for all practical purposes NON EXISTENT

Also as I said I got to see the State employees that worked for my father, up close and personal and because it could mean immediate termination none would risk getting caught "drinking on the job " much less "doing drugs" drugs of ANY KIND and based on my observation highly doubt they would engage in that off the job

Simple "availabilty" would be a challenge to say the least

So I stand by what I said

 

[mr mike]

Ummm... Actually the state park I modeled the one that Randall & DeeDee work at is in central MN. A small state park with a single lake surrounded by rolling corn and soybean fields. The state park's purpose is to preserve a section of the forest that used to cover the farm fields. I spent a lot of time there in my teenage years. I don't remember anymore why I set the story in northern Wisconsin. I don't remember if Wisconsin state park rangers where smokie hats. This multi- year story is a fantasy where cops don't exist and all my characters behave themselves because they are all stoned or wish that they were.

Ummm. As I said before, the character's smoke a lot of pot because the author (me) smokes pot. None of the character's I have created think MJ is bad, because it ISN'T bad.

 

[mr mike]

Randall was driving on his big green Pontiac towards Julia's house with her half-ounce, following her crazy directions out to the middle of nowhere.

His thoughts kept going back to yesterday afternoon at THE SMORGASBORD. In the parking lot, Elena had produced a skinny joint of sticky black pot and they walked into the restaurant walking a foot in the air. They had all piled their plates high and got the attention of the other patrons by talking and laughing loudly and feeding each other.

Their festive orgy ended when Charles entered the restaurant looking for DeeDee.

'A cop just walked in!' Roger stage whispered so loud everyone in the restaurant turned to look.

DeeDee waved him over excitedly and Roger said 'DeeDee! Don't wave him over here!'

DeeDee introduced him to Roger and Elena. Roger asked Charles outright if he was a cop and Charles asked Elena if she was the girl who dumped Randall.

It went down from there. Charles and DeeDee sat next to each other and proceeded to make out. Roger snickered when they kissed open-mouthed and Elena rolled her eyes. When Charles mentioned that he was moving back in with DeeDee, Elena stood up and dragged DeeDee across the restaurant to the ladies room.

At work today, there was no lunchtime handjob from DeeDee, and there would probably be no more. That was fine. She had introduced him and Cindy and for that he would be forever grateful to her.

Randall realized he had almost drove past Julia's house. He backed-up and drove down the long dirt driveway to the house with the Christmas lights strung across the eaves and lit-up plastic decorations scattered around the lawn.

 

[mr mike]

Julia looked out the picture window when she heard Randall's car pull-up to her tiny house.

Getting out of the car, Randall saw Julia direct him to the backdoor through the window.

Fuck it was cold! His boots crunched in the snow. The backdoor opened before he could knock

'Peewee!' Julia exclaimed with a wide smile.

'It must be at least minus 10 out there' grumbled Randall as he took off his mittens and heavy coat and put them on the coat tree next to the door and sat at the kitchen table to pill off his boots.

'You weren't kidding that your house was on the middle of nowhere!' Randall exclaimed.

'And you found it!' Said a happy Julia as she led Randall into the living room. She sat on the sofa and patted next to her. Randall sat down.

She went back to watching the blaring console color TV in front of them.

'What's on?' Asked Randall.

'The last 15 minutes of THE FBI,' answered Julia.

'Why is Effram Zimbalist Jr wearing black-rimmed glasses and a phony mustache?'

'He's undercover as a hitman!' She whispered loudly.

Julia wss wearing jeans and a sweater. She wasn't wearing her church wig. Randall looked around
For a house less than 1000 square feet it was quite tidy and the smell of Lemon Pledge let him know she dusted before he came over.

The living room walls had several watercolors of farmhouses, silos, barns and tractors. There was also a portrait of a soldier in uniform and a folded flag under glass in a triangle.

As the credits rolled on the TV, Julia stood up and switched-off the television.

'Let's go on the kitchen, honey.' Said Julia.

Julia sat at the kitchen table and Randall pulled a baggie out of his front pocket and dropped it on the formica tabletop. He pulled out a hanging-type postal scale and clipped the baggie to it so the church secretary could see what she was paying for.

Julia was smiling ear-to-ear. 'What kind is it?'

'It's supposed to be multi-color Columbian,' said Randall.

Julia held up her stash. 'Look at the colors!' She exclaimed happily. 'How much?'

Randall told hef and she pulled a bunch of bills and a pack of Zig Zags from her purse and counted out a stack of five dollar bills.

Randall pocketed the cash and watched Julia roll a perfectly tight single-paper joint. She lit it with a match and took a deep toke before handing it to Randall.

'So what happened when Pastor Dipshit came back from Milwaukee?' Asked Randall.

Julia laughed. 'I totally threw you under the bus! I got him to believe it was you who called me to tell him that Augustus was in St Mary's!'

'But I was in his office with him!' Said Randall.

'I know!!!' laughed Julia.

'Were you there when he went back to his office?'

'I was in the ladies toilet down the hall when I heard him scream. I couldn't quit laughing!' Said Julia, grinning at the memory. 'When I tried to get in his office, it was locked from the inside and he screamed at me to go away!'

Randall couldn't quit laughing.

'I went home and when I got in this morning, the desk blotter and globe were gone. When he finally came in, I asked where they were and he ignored me. He spent the rest of the day on the phone with Augustus.

'Did you know Augustus and Eve run a social group called The Silver Key Club?'

Julia's eyes narrowed. 'What KIND of social club?'

The kind that meets every month in a different motels along the North Shore. About a month ago, Eve met Cindy in the laundry room of their building where they live and Eve invited us up for cocktails with het and Augustus. Eve invited us to join them at their next gathering at the Duluth Hilton. Cindy figured ot out before I did and refused the invitation for both of us. You know she had to explain it to me later!'

Julia laughed. 'Cindy sounds like one smart cookie!'

'She's got enough smarts for both of us,' Randall admitted truthfully.

Julia"s eyes moved to the bulge in Randall's blue jeans. 'Randall?'

'Yes, ma'am?'

'Are you wearing a t- shirt?

'Yes, ma'am.'

Will you please strip down to your t-shirt?'

Randall laughed. YES, MA'AM!!!'

 

[mr mike]

'I'm not coming out until you turn-up the thermostat!' Randall shouted from behind the bathroom door.

'Okay!' Julia cackled. 'Shrinkage, right?'

Randall heard the basement furnace come on and he exited the bathroom wearing only a white t-shirt and presented himself to Julia.

'You site are skinny!' She said approvingly.

'I always have been,' said Randall. 'I could probably fit into my old army uniform.'

Julia brightened-up, 'You were in the military?'

"Drafted in '58. Artillery at the 48th Parallel.' Randall replied automatically as he looked at the picture of her husband who he assumed was KIA in Viet Nam. He hoped she wouldn't bring him up.

'What would you like me to do' Randall asked.

"Why don't you sit on that kitchen chair over there?' She asked.

'Why?' Asked a puzzled Randall.

'I'm going to draw you! Julia giggled. 'You don't mind, do you?'

A light bulb went-off over Randall's head. 'So YOU painted all these watercolor pictures?'

Julia nodded and giggled. 'My niece, Jenny, frames them. She says they should be in an art museum, but can you imagine my paintings of barns next to paintings of soup cans and Brillo boxes!' She laughed.

'You ARE really talented!' Randall said, looking at the walls while heading to the kitchen chair with a towel on it next to a curtained side window, his soft fat dick slapping his thigh the whole way. He sat down.

Julia was going through her LP collection next to the stereo console.

'Do you like Charlie Pride?' She asked.

'Got any Buck Owens?' Randall asked from across the room.

'I have one album, but it's scratched, ' answered Julia.

'Then Charlie Pride it is!' Said Randall.

Julia put on the record and walked towards her seated subject with his penis dangling relaxed between his open legs. She was holding an ancient desk lamp in one hand and a sketchbook in the other.

Julia kneeled between Randall's spread legs and placed the desk lamp pointing up. She plugged it in.

'Do you think you could position your little wee-wee so it drapes across your right thigh, please?'

'Like this?' asked Randall. This freezing cold night at the edge of the earth was taking a strange turn.

'Yup,' said Julia, on her hands and knees and taking her time positioning the light.

Satisfied with the lighting on her subject, Julia stood up and dragged a comfy hassock in front of Randall's spread legs. She picked up her sketchbook and a number two pencil.

'I find the male penis fascinating...' she said.

"I'm guessing that mine isn't the first one you've drawn.' Said Randall
'Am I right?'

Julia chuckled as she started to draw. 'I started drawing on notebooks on fifth or sixth grade,' she said. "I saw a drawing of it on our biology textbook, and thought they all looked lile that!'

They both laughed.

'The first real one I saw looked so different than the textbook drawing, that I drew it in a notebook to compare!' Julia said, blushing at the memory.

So you've drawn ALL the male penises you've seen?' Asked Randall.

Julia shook her head. 'Just the interesting ones. The ones with personality and character...like yours.'

'Guys who comment on it the first time they see it, always bring up how ugly they think it is. But you're right, Cindy mentioned once that she thought my thingee had had it's pwn personality!' Randall laughed.

'You know whose penis had personality and character? My husband.' said a smiling Julia '. His dick had character in spades and he was really well-hung, too! I sketched it ALL the time!'

'You don't ever show those drawings to anyone, do you?' asked Randall.

Julia shook her head. ' If any of my family members go through my sketchbooks after I pass, boy will THEY be surprised!' She cackled. Julia finally finished and handed the sketchbook to Randall.

'I've never seen my balls from this angle before' said Randall, examining the drawing.

You have a nice pair.' admitted Julia
'I hope I did them justice!'

Randall flipped back a page and saw an excellent sketch of Pastor Knutsen sleeping at his desk.' He laughed at the unexpected drawing.

'I did that one last week when I heard him snoring behind his office door.' Julia grinned. 'I was bored so I went inside, sat on the sofa and spent the rest of the afternoon sketching him and the office around him.'

'Wow!' Look at all the detail you put in it!' said Randall, impressed.

There was a moment of silence as Julia noticed Randall's penis slowly rise off his thigh. She gave Randall a crooked smile. 'You know,' Peewee,' she said. 'I'll be frank with you this one time. If you want a pity handjob from a lady, you must ask her for it!'

Randall smiled broadly back. 'I know that I am unworthy of your erotic attentions,'

'Go on.' Said Julia.

'But having felt the delights of your fists around my pathetic penis before, I'm imploring you to grant me this one favor that I do not in anyway deserve, before sending me back into the frigid night.

'Peewee?'

'Yes. Madam?' Randall said in a hopeful voice.

'You may fetch me the hand cream from the bathroom.'