"Definately" Annoying...

madame_zora

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What is acceptable in written vs. spoken language is often miles apart. We have luxuries with written language that we don't have with speech, primarily the time to organise our thoughts, spell-check, and edit. In theory, we should be able to present our thoughts in the way we most desire. It tells me a lot about a person when they use a lot of devices for pause in written speech.

As much as everyone dislikes sales and the advertising industry, the extent to which sales tactics work is pretty much indisputable. Literally billions of dollars back up their theories. If you want to be an effective salesman, one of the most effective things you can do is to eliminate the word "um" from your speech. Nobody realises how much they use it, but EVERYBODY uses it! We actually had to tape-record ourselves, and then speak in front of our peers who would call us out for every "um" we uttered! The payoff is that when you can speak completely free of this device, other people will perceive you as being right almost all the time. It's subconscious, but when you speak as if you KNOW what you're saying, the actual content isn't really all that important. The vast majority of human beings make decisions (on the rare occasions that they do this aggressively rather than passively) on completely irrational bases.

The average American reads on the fourth grade level. A poor performance is enough to impress the average American.

Extremely few people understand how easily manipulated THEY are- they understand how everyone else is vulnerable, but not themselves. I see this as most peoples' greatest weakness. Until you understand that you (and I) are not immune from the things we dislike in others, we can't change them. Learning to eliminate "um" turned out to be a life-changing experience for me, because I then had to admit that I'm just as easily led as the next guy. If I want to stop being like that, there are a set of mental muscles I must exercise. If I never address the initial problem though, I can do no better but to continue in that mode.
 

B_big dirigible

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Well, that is my point, BD. The offending posts to which I refer began with the notorious prefatory "So"... but there was nothing preceding in either specific case. "So" and "well" are appropriate prefatory to a response, but not appropriate prefatory to an opening statement.
Yes. I wouldn't have weighed in on such an obvious point if the thread hadn't betrayed a bit of confusion in some - not all - quarters about that.