define masculine

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BigLittleMan, Jun 29, 2008.

  1. BigLittleMan

    BigLittleMan New Member

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    everyone has their own opionion so i thought i'd throw this out there...

    as a guy who considers myself a "man's man," this came up when a lesbian friend of mine tried setting me up on a date with a "masculine" friend of hers. you'd think a lesbian would know masculine but since they both start with "m," i'm guessing she confused metrosexual with masculine. ok, he did work out and have a nice body but the rest--very trendy (spikey hair, big bug sunglasses, overly tan, low-rise "whisker" jeans and blaring dance music) and kind of bitchy (he actually shuddered when i said i love to camp in a tent)--did not do it for me. he didn't know anything about cars or sports or much other than celebrity gossip. since i need to be as much into the guy as i am the packaging, the date did not end well, especially when i said trading phone numbers wasn't such a great idea. no doubt he's calling me an asshole as we speak.

    so, what's your idea of masculine?

    not showering and going without deodorant?

    overweight and hairy?

    leather outfit with matching accessories?

    big muscles?

    (and if you're a cute little guy who wants to go to a baseball game, camping or test drive cars, hit me up...:smile:)
     
  2. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    HMMM? masculine??? Know it when I see it......for me it's about a guys attitude, or should i say lack of attitude.....a man who is totally at home with himself...
     
  3. chefman

    chefman Member

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    I am a classically trained chef, I also enjoy baking---I can decorate a cake with rosettes made out of icing---I consider myself to be masculine--I think it is all relative.
    Camping in a tent? I will give it a chance, but I do like a five star hotel with prompt room service better!
    It's all relative! Men are men!
     
    #3 chefman, Jun 29, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2008
  4. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    Too many times we allow ourselves to be defined by "things". Physical aspects of life that only fade with time. This is a natural reaction, we're only human.

    Oviously there is no denying the definitive male, however that is entirely subjective. Masculine traits as they are, some men are not always so easily define by deep voices, hairy chests, manly mannerisms. The flaw in defining an individual comes when those among us don't particularly fit into those areas, yet genetics still define those individuals as being male.

    What is left?

    All things considered when those more prominant particulars are thrown into those grey areas, I look to individual character.

    I look at what is in the heart and how a guy's actions reflect it's content.
    It doesn't take a man to have baby, but a father to raise and honor the child with guidance in the rights and wrongs of life. This is the most important trait in describing a guy as being masculine for me. (This applies to str8 men of course.)

    Integrity and the ability to say yes to the challenges of following the path of what you feel is right it another for me. Irredgardless if he is slightly less than Steve Reeves. LOL

    Men who fall into catagory of deep voices etc are but one myraid of aspects to what we think of as masculine. It is the picture of the whole that counts for me in the overall score.
     
  5. D_Rod Staffinbone

    D_Rod Staffinbone Account Disabled

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    maybe it's just me. i don't feel i'm out to prove anything to anybody
    i feel really self-confident in who i am, the size of the unit, love to laugh
    at myself and have fun. but all the stuff i'm into is "guy stuff" i can't
    help it, it's been like that since i was 4. really there is no choice with me.
    not into any of that bondage/leather scene. pretty normal guy with jeans,
    t-shirts and some cowboy boots.

    off-roading, river rafting, semi-extreme sports, snowboarding, i just can't get enough of it. i feel like a "guy" type, i love being a guy. as another dude said to me recently, if
    you're going to be gay, why be effeminate? really i'd much rather have sex with a woman than an effeminate man. but sex with a guy who is masculine is a whole different thing to me. i do respect others who feel differently about all this.

    was married and almost never did the stuff i loved because my wife hated all that stuff and i loved her at the time,
    but ended up pretty miserable toward the end. always been bisexual and she knew that
    before we married. stayed 99.9% monogamous through all that. left last october.

    the planets are realigning now, for the better, i feel.
    this site seems great for discussing all this and am getting help here already.

    offroad
     
    #5 D_Rod Staffinbone, Jun 29, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2008
  6. Phil Ayesho

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    eh... the heart wants what it wants...

    Masculine men can wear a suit well, have a sense of male style... but pick a look that fits them and are not subject to "fashion" and "trends".... the Tux has not changed in 50 years because what works don't need fixing.

    By this I mean that if you are wearing your hat backwards, cause that's what all the cool dudes are doing... THAT is not masculine.
    If you gotta go buy the narrow lens glasses cause everybody has them... THAT is not masculine.

    If you change your hairstyle more often than is necessitated by thinning hair... if you use mousse, "product" or in any other way primp any more than is minimally needed to look clean and well groomed.... that is not masculine.


    If you are overly concerned with the size of your dick, the size of other men's dicks, whether you are better than other men your S.O. has been with... or obsessed over the flap of skin that is, or isn't around the tip of your dick...
    That is NOT masculine.

    If you fret, worry, or whine... you're not masculine.

    If you can't as easily camp out, or step out dressed to the nines, move furniture or dig a ditch... and do it all without bitching,,,, you are not masculine.


    The most salient feature of masculinity is that when there is shit work to get done... the real men are the ones who are laughing their way thru it.
     
  7. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Just read your sig:
    "not into the usual gay trappings (dance music, circuit queens, drag/leather, fashion, being fabulous, etc.) just a normal guy."

    Hmm? "Normal" is a relative term and comes from the perspective of the person who uses it. For some guys, dance music, circuit queens, drag/leather, fashion, being fabulous, etc., is PERFECTLY normal
     
  8. Lex

    Lex
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    Masculine is not about what you wear (deodorant, leather, drag, cologne); it is about who you are. Men with true masculinity don't need tattoos, piercings, leather vests, hairy chests, or big muscles to be masculine--they just are. If they have any of those affects, those are nice adornments.

    Being masculine means being a man--living by your word, having integrity, taking care of your responsibilities, being sensitive and open to difference, etc. Masculine men are strong enough to let themselves be vulnerable, vulnerable enough to let other people see them for who they really are, and comfortable enough in their own skin to just always be themselves.

    Looking masculine/butch and BEING masculine/butch are different concepts.
     
    #8 Lex, Jun 29, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2008
  9. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Masculinity for me is all men and every man.
    How on earth can you put appropriate descriptors to capture the very essense of the word.
    It is plainly impossible.
     
  10. HazelGod

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    I'm in agreement with much of what Lex and Dr. Phil have said...but I'd like to hear input from the ladies as to what they believe constitutes masculinity.

    I'm very curious to see how their perceptions line up with ours.
     
  11. Jonathan2/11

    Jonathan2/11 New Member

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    I think I am very masculine I may be gay but I'm not into the whole drag queen thing and the high pitched voice thats just too gay for me, masculine is someone who likes doing guy things and they dont always have to be hairy I prefer the ones who shave, I hate it when a gay guy trys to act like a chick I think thats disgusting I mean if I wanted to date a chick then I'd wouldn't be gay just thought I'd put that out there but I also go for guys with the prep look to
     
  12. D_Rod Staffinbone

    D_Rod Staffinbone Account Disabled

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    copy that.


    offroad8x6
     
  13. D_Terry_Misue

    D_Terry_Misue New Member

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    hey biglittleman...i feel for you. I have had a few experiences like this...to each his own i guess.

    I couldn't agree with Lex more. to me masculine is being comfortable and confident and not needing to diminish other people to make your own ego feel better.

    BTW biglittleman, I'll go camping with u anytime....but I'm 6'4''.
     
  14. B_theOtherJJ

    B_theOtherJJ New Member

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    A guy who wears a Black feather boa instead of a Pink one ????
     
  15. BiItalianBro

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    ..... with leather chaps :rolleyes:
     
  16. D_Leg McMuffin

    D_Leg McMuffin Account Disabled

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    not gay and very aggresive
     
  17. Lito

    Lito New Member

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    - I don't like sports
    - I work out
    - I HATE camping
    - I do like comfort, I'm totally urban
    - I like exotic drinks, not beer
    - I like madonna, have been known to sing a pet shop boys song here and there
    - I don't enjoy vulgar language

    - I like cars (but won't go to a race, unless I can drive)
    - I like women


    Am I masculine? A lot of people say no, some (specially some I've been in bed with) say yes.

    Who cares... as long as you're attracted, go for it. If you're not, then let go... you owe nothing to the other person, except maybe honesty and respect.
     
  18. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Please define "too gay".......for me that's a troubling phrase
     
  19. 220483

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    ok, this is the wikipedia's definition of masculine: Masculine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    BUT to me I think what YOU'RE searching is the meaning of MASCULINITY: Masculinity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    and in IT, apparentely, THIS is the LIST on how to be MASCULINE:
    1. Physical — virile, athletic, strong, brave. Unconcerned about appearance and aging;
    2. Functional — breadwinner, provider for family as much as mate
    3. Sexual — sexually aggressive, experienced. Single status acceptable; (do not mind to walk around naked, especially around other guys)
    4. Emotional — unemotional, stoic, the proverb says boys don't cry;
    5. Intellectual — logical, intellectual, rational, objective, practical,
    6. Interpersonal — leader, dominating; disciplinarian; independent, free, individualistic; demanding;
    7. Other Personal Characteristics — success-oriented, ambitious, aggressive, proud, egotistical; moral, trustworthy; decisive, competitive, uninhibited, adventurous.
    JUST love these clichés! :D
     
  20. BiItalianBro

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    I like this thread...it is very esoteric topic and gets the gray matter pumpin'.

    IMHO the definition of 'masculine' and 'feminine' traits are defined by culture, generation, media, religion and upbringing. Someone had a good blog about Latin male culture a few days ago and they are right on. The social norms for masculinity in Latin and Southern European cultures vs. say, East Asian cultures, is like comparing apples and tennis shoes. Everyone, regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation or family system possesses both traits. So I think its somewhat moot to pigeon hole "masculine" into a grocery list of traits and behaviors. Men are capable of sympathy and being nurturers....women are capable of being violent and aggressive.
     
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