Define: Open.

GoneA

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headbang8 said:
Yeah, he tried to slip that one past us, didn't he?

Enjoy, GoneA!

:redface:... what can I say, I'm shy.

Yes we are GoneA..and some couples roles passionatly in beach sands, standing on cars, deep wet tongue kisses going on all over and etc...we do have laws but people are very affectioned in public, can be scandalous to some or many...

Hope so Brasilian here come to enlight me if i'm wrong about that...
That's funny.

I should be going to Brazil in a few months, actually. I hope I get to experience this first hand. I'll report back to you. :tongue:
 

Ethyl

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jeff black said:
This "out/Open" thing.... is not something I am quite ready for.

My only thoughts on this matter... Let's be hypothetical for a moment.

Situation#1:

I come to the realization that I am gay, or realize that I may not have any interest in women anymore. As a result, I muster up the courage to tell my parents and close friends. Who knows how people will take it but lets say everyone has a difficult time with it at first, then becomes ok as time progresses.

FIVE years later, I have had a slew of sexual/emotional relationships with men. I find my life unsatisfying, or perhaps realize that life with men isn't exactly what I wanted... and realize I still care for women a great deal. Now, I have to COME OUT as a straight/bisexual man to my parents.

The Situation sounds like alot of added stress on my family and friends. Not that they wouldn't accept me no matter what I choose, It is just alot of things to consider for them.

Now, I know I am gonna get reemed out.. called a coward, or a shithead because I am unwilling to stand up and make a decision, but I don't care. While I respect Lex, and others who have stood up and come to terms with themselves... I am not willing to do that because I am concerned that this situation is fairly valid in my life. I refuse to hurt my parents and friends (Please hold the bullshit about good friends accepting you no matter what.)

I figure, why not ride the idea of bisexuality out.... and experiment a bit without telling friends and family. Once I find someone who I wish to be fully committed to, THEN I make the leap to the next step.

Also, coming out to a World that isn't Completely Gay friendly sounds like alot more turmoil than I am willing to face at this moment. Being discriminated for something I have no control over.... well, that just sucks.:rolleyes:

I hope that makes sense... and that people will respect my choice. As most of you know, I have yet to have sexual contact with a man. Perhaps I will hate it, and this will not affect me.

kudos on the great topic, GoneA.:rolleyes:

JB, I congratulate you on your progressive sexual self-awareness. Your wisdom is evident in your honesty.

I was present for a friend's 'coming out' to his adoptive parents a few years ago. It was one of the most touching moments i've ever witnessed but I know he carefully chose that moment to make that leap. I remember talking with him for months about whether or not it was the right time for him or the family. Unlike you, he was in a long term relationship and felt the need to express it publicly.

His adoptive parents accepted him with open arms, but the experience made me realize how delicate these situations can be. 'Coming out' when you're ready to reveal yourself is difficult enough as it is. No need for a premature announcement if there's no felt certainty about making one.
 

Lex

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naughty said:
They may not be, but in many cases it looks the same. Really I dont see any problem with a discreet hug or light kiss but you do know what I mean because we see it every day!

I just want to be clear because some people will say that they don't want to "See it" when it comes to PDAs and gay people and, for them, that means even things like hand-holding and lightly kissing.

What queer people want is equality and equal treatment. What that means is the ability to have PDAs without fearing for their lives. People's issues with PDAs are just that--theirs (they need not be ours). I don't necessarily feel that people should not kiss passionately in public, or rather, I should say that I dont think that we need to make them feel as if it is wrong to do so.

I don't like couples going at it like rabid dogs, regardless of the combination (MM, MF, FF) but I recognize that they should have the right and feel the comfort and freedom to do just that given the environmental context (I have certainly given tongue to a guy at a gay bar ).

And they should not have to think hard about it. I should be able to impulsively wrap my arm around the waist of my BF the same way I have been able to do so with my wife. I should not have to think"

Can I do this here?
What will people say?
Will someone try to kill me if I do?

Everyone should feel free to express themselves openly to the extent to which they and their partner are comfortable. Those may seem like extremes, but they really all stem from people being uncomfortable and repressed about affection, love and sex.
 

GoneA

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I agree Lex - acceptance is the word of the day. These days, anytime someone speaks of PA (or PDA) my thoughts instantly go back to the movie BrokeBack Mountain. In the end, it was a movie about acceptance (or the lack thereof) and how two guys wanted the public to validate their relationship.

When gay couples demonstrate PDA is shows a great deal of self-acceptance and it helps to make homosexuality more acceptable socially. That is, I think it will help gay people become successful in the ongoing fight for equality.
 

naughty

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Did you all read what I said? My opinion stretches across gender preference. I do not think it is a question of one's civil liberties but there has to be a median because there are many who do not have boundaries.