[quote author=dable_wi link=board=relationships;num=1070638676;start=0#12 date=12/13/03 at 21:37:05]Honestly, from my experiences, I don't know that the sex/copulation part of intimacy is all that gender-different. So, am I "straight, AND open-minded," straight, BUT open-minded," or, "straight IN SPITE OF BEING open-minded?"[/quote]
Good quote -- it evoked a thought.
I can say the same thing with respect to my experiences with men and women. I've had high points. I've had low ones. Good times and bad, I've learned a lot along the way. I think the straight/open-minded situation hits the peak when you learn to accept your experiences as they are, without doubting, questioning, or feeling awkward or guilty about what you've done.
How 'bout this? Sorry, ladies, but if I figure up the number of blowjobs I've had from both guys and girls, and I rated them accordingly, guys almost consistently score higher in their ability. (Of course, I would make the same argument for women -- try as we might, I think women might have a higher chance of satisfying other women orally.) Here's the thing. I'm pretty comfortable accepting that fact for what it is; after all, my experience backs it up. Now, if I were to say this fact to someone else -- or even to acknowledge that these experiences might hold up consistently for other people -- that modifier changes.
I might be "straight AND open-minded" if I accept what I've done, experiences and all, for myself. If I start pulling other people into my interpretations of sexuality and what not... things change. For instance, if I'm perusing some swinger's ads and am relatively new to experiencing men -- depending on how I engage the man in a threesome, for example...
"Straight BUT open-minded" = Look, man. Your wife's pretty hot and I don't mind tagging her with you. In fact, if we touch a little, it's no big -- just know I'm more into the wife than you, no offense.
"Straight IN SPITE OF BEING open-minded" = Hmmmm... well... yeah, I kissed you... no big deal, man.
(I don't know. That one was way tougher.)
Ok, fact is, I'm pretty honest about all the wild stuff I've done while I was away in undergraduate years. Those made for some awesome memories. I had done strange and wild things for sure, but I think that made me realize that it's cool to be uninhibited and to have fun with whatever comes along the way -- make the most of it. Not to tell on myself too much here, but I've been drunk plenty of times -- played stripping games, streaked, shown the goods, took Truth or Dare a little too far, and had a lot of respect for my buds who also said, "What the hell?" and went along with it. I thank each and every bud I've had the strange and humorous pleasure of playing tonsil hockey with.
Sometimes it's just fun to burst past your personal barriers.