Definition of a top

[KennF]

Labels are for describing, not defining.

Going back to an earlier response... who inserts his cock into the other person is the top. They don't have to be physically on top. They don't have to be active. They may, or may not, want to kiss, suck, rim, lick, taste, touch, engage in frottage, hand jobs, be verbal, or even please their partner. Nothing in the description "top" says anything other than the guy has his cock inside someone else.

I was recently chatting with a guy about roles in bed and he said as he’s a ‘Top’ he doesn’t suck or even touch a guy’s dick as that’s the role of the ‘Bottom’; this is not the first time I’ve heard this comment.

Someone who thinks with this type of stereotype is an inconsiderate sex partner and, for me, probably a lousy fuck. If I just wanted a hard stick in my ass, then I'd use a dildo.

It is just that I prefer to have sex with people, not dicks.

 

[Tbprivate]

Labels are for describing, not defining.

Someone who thinks with this type of stereotype is an inconsiderate sex partner and, for me, probably a lousy fuck. If I just wanted a hard stick in my ass, then I'd use a dildo.

It is just that I prefer to have sex with people, not dicks.

Well said! A good point well made

 

[linniejr]

For me a definition of a top is one that primarily throws the dick, however there are times when he may take. Reason I say that, my now deceased lover never let me stick him. Hell, that's how I like it. Let me go back a minute. At one time, I had an issue with a guy saying he was a top, then he would suck my dick or eat my ass, that was what I enjoyed doing, as long as he was a kisser and caress er. As I got older I got wiser, thanks to one of my gay female friends. In short she let me know, that although he may not like getting dick, that doesn't mean he doesn't like anything else. She told me to remember that he is a gay man.

My lover was one that kissed, caressed, touched me, but he did all the dicking. On our first anniversary he let me stick him, that was the first time and the last time. I had no problem with that. There were times when I didn't want him to do anything but just lay there while I did what I wanted to do. That was our thing.

For me, a top is the boss in the bed ( I don't mean that literally,) and I'm willing to let him do to me, what I know he can do.

 

[thick4me]

I met a very masculine appearing man with some major meat...He undressed and sprawled back on my bed...I undressed..and started to grope him...rub his crotch....get him hard ...and began to suck him..he moaned and groaned with pleasure....I worked my way up to his waist and he stopped me...He said "nothing above the waist"..I'm married....I was surprised to say the least...great big guy..handsome...nice hairy pits...nice feet...He just wanted to be sucked....A few weeks later after 4 or 5 meetings....he took my hand and wanted me to finger him....next thing he is trying to jerk me off....
7 years later we still meet ....suck...fingerbang....rim...suck toes...fingers...sniff and lick pits....So much for I'm married and a top,,,We meet somewhere in the middle...incredible sex....but no kissing....

 

[deleted1074483]

a top in short defines someone who will not take anal sex themselves and will only penetrate when it comes to anal sex. Where as a bottom will only be penetrated and not penetrate. Versatile is somewhere in the middle. Simple as

Oral top - only receives

There is a difference between a top and a dom, as there is difference between a bottom and a sub, I personally am bottom, but can change between bottom sub and power bottom (meaning you may be the top but I will be fucking you as a bottom), borderline on vers anally depending on my mood.

the term top/bottom, usually/generally applies to anal activities only in my experience.

Another thing - there really is a severe lack of "tops" around as a comparison to bottoms. So much so its nearly 1/10 ratio of bottoms to tops out there right now.

Not sure why, perhaps the natural desire is for a gay man to be bottom or feel submissive.

Again, all just my experience, I'm not claiming it to be fact.

I think you're right about the ratio of tops to bottoms from my experience as a top which is all I've ever been (ok did try bottoming a couple of times but did nothing for me) and even so called 'top' guys contact me and say they'd love me to fuck them. Lucky me.

I also agree with your definition of what a top is - someone who does the fucking but doesn't get fucked - however, I love to suck, rim kiss, massage etc and have that done to me as well.

 

[malakos]

You're right, I am saying that a person who sees himself as the top is effectively in charge of the sex act, but I have always maintained that the sex act is a mutual affair. Can a bottom direct and plan it? Sure - as long as everyone is on the same page. "Spontaneous and fluid" are reasonable goals but do not always happen if there is no communication between the parties, some level of getting to know what works or doesn't work for both individuals. Prior experience with someone is probably the best resource. I don't think there is anything wrong with almost anything two adults want to do, and no one should feel like he must check off certain boxes. What my point was against is some "precious" stud who thinks being there is all he has to do with no regard to his partner's satisfaction. I used to see the type a lot, not as much now, but I don't go out as much as I used to. I've had a lot of partners who like to direct things to differing degrees, and I'm always (mostly) pretty game. Nothing is absolute except the need to be clear about what is being sought and to respect and be prepared to make sure your partner is pleased as well - whatever his needs may be. I don't see it as "Me First" but more as "We're all in this together."

Excellent clarification.

 

[inmybuttbare]

I'll try swimming upstream here as it seems the vast majority take offense to this tops definition. Tops like any group of people come in a wide variety of flavors. And yes, I have met some like described. Unlike most here I am okay with that. But regardless of the guy matching up well with the bottoms desires, he was upfront and honest about it. That makes it easy to decide if the bottom wants to get in bed with him or not. Now had he hidden this information then it might annoy me.

Again, why I am not a fan of labels.

 

[erpap]

Of course this questions answer will vary from person to person! To me a top is a man who likes to use his bottom for his pleasure! That’s my kind of top because that gives me pleasure!

 

[Submissivebottom]

F

I was recently chatting with a guy about roles in bed and he said as he’s a ‘Top’ he doesn’t suck or even touch a guy’s dick as that’s the role of the ‘Bottom’; this is not the first time I’ve heard this comment.


When I questioned why he thinks that he should just lay there and the passive guy do all the ‘work’, he said he’s a Top, not versatile!!!


Do other guys really think this is right? Doesn’t this mean the Top guy is taking the more passive role until he’s ready to f*ck ass?

Surely the ideal sex session is where both guys equally pleasure each other prior to anal?

For me it is I'm not interested in my dick getting sucked I'm a submissive bottom who loves a top to dominate me but not all bottoms are a like

 

[Tbprivate]

F

For me it is I'm not interested in my dick getting sucked I'm a submissive bottom who loves a top to dominate me but not all bottoms are a like

Yeah, your profile name and every post reflects your preferences. Got it!

 

[englad]

Yeah, your profile name and every post reflects your preferences. Got it!

Yep, and that was a duracell bunny barrage on this sub forum last night. 112 posts (most of them here) in one day.

 

[uncut7in]

With oral sex I'm completely versatile, but when it comes to fucking I'm a total top. I love nothing better than to ram my cock into a bottom, and fuck him hard in lots of positions.