Delicat situation: How to get rid of someone

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_Castello, May 25, 2009.

  1. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    There is this girl she is always after me, I can't stand her, everywhere I go she's there and I know that she makes it on purpose, her and her stupid friends. She even brought some love letter at the door and flower (not signed) but I know it's her. She always come to talk to me and she even came to watch me taking sun tan and she was hiding eurk I hate her.

    What can I do to get rid of her without been mean. Because I'm about to tell her to fuck off but I dont want to hurt her neither. And NO, I'm not gonna tell her I'm gay because she will tell EVERYONE.
     
  2. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Oups I forgot to put a ''e'' at delicate
     
  3. BiItalianBro

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,246
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago & Louisville KY
    Dude...I just delt with this situation myself...lay it on the line but be diplomatic because she is obviously as stable as gasoline on a stove. What started off a a pleasant cup of coffee turned into text messages professing their love and 'what are you doing?" or 'who are you with'....then the dreaded "you have 25 new messages" when I turn my phone on in the morning.

    Lay it on the line...tell her that she is a good person but you cannot see your personalities meshing. You dont have to be a total a*hole but be firm. Give her an exit strategy with "either we can be casual friends or we have to stop communicating alltogether." If that does not work there is always the restraining order.... i hope it does not come to that but she obviously has issues :/
     
  4. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    So I have to tell her: Either your my friend or either you go? But I dont wanna be her friend neither, she will not stop, she's spycho lol
     
  5. BiItalianBro

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,246
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago & Louisville KY
    Exactly....she will not be able to accept the 'just friend' option so she will move on. That way you are not 'dumping' her which leads to anger and puts you at risk....kind of play her issues to your advantage.
     
  6. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    OK I will try :)
     
  7. BiItalianBro

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,246
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago & Louisville KY
    It has worked for me bro...conflict with these types leads to retaliation then more conflict...give her an exit strategy and you are good...that way she looks like the one who broke it off. Like the adage goes, tact is the ability to describe people as they see themselves.
     
  8. speshk

    speshk New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Don't f*** with a girl's heart because when love turns to hate, you'll regret it.

    In fact, don't f*** with anyone's heart.

    That's good advice for a good-looking guy. You'll already have loads of jealousy working against you.

    :smile:
     
  9. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Why you said that? I dont want to hurt her :( I'm not jalous neither. But she make my life miserable, If I go out now, there is one chance out of two that she will be there fallowing me. So I dont want to hurt her but I have do make a move.
     
  10. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    Here you go.
    First. No one knows where Cupids arrow will strike - or where it won't. You will Always Like or Love someone more than they will like or love you AND someone will always like or love you more than you will like or love them.

    Second. When someone is attracted to you and you haven't a similar interest, it is not fair to them. For example: If you seek fire, looking in a rain forest is probably not going to yeild that result. Not that it's impossible, but that is very improbable. They are seeking something you cannot, or will not return. Their interest in you is better served by seeking their desires in another person. That goes for you and your quest for companionship in others.
    Third. Open, honest communication is often, but not always, the best solution. Sometimes we must make difficult decisions and/or say things that take us outside our comfort zone, but those challenges are what gives us growth as humans and helps us be more secure in our selves.
    Fourth. there is no fourth.

    Michael*
     
  11. vibrator

    vibrator New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Messages:
    288
    Likes Received:
    1
    There is no way to be nice about. Just say what you mean and let the chips fall where they may.

    Just say I'm not interested.
     
  12. speshk

    speshk New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Okay, I can see now from your earlier posts you're a nice kid (and not so arrogant) and I came off as being too harsh. Sorry.

    What I'm saying is, have an honest (and gentle) conversation with this girl. Explain to her that you don't won't to hurt her. You'll be glad you behaved well when the situation is reversed someday (and it will be).

    And if this girl seems embarrassed, you can tell her not to feel that way because there's nothing ever wrong with being a fool for love.

    :redface:
     
  13. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    11,912
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City, by way of Marblehead, Boston and Ge
    I've been reading your posts and I think you're a nice guy but honestly, sometimes you sound like you're 12. :rolleyes:
     
  14. luka82

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    5,182
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    somewhere
    My panda likes u
     
  15. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Just tell her you're interested in someone else. You don't have to specify who, or have anyone at all, just make it seem like you are busy with someone else.

    Good luck.
     
  16. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    No you were not harsh at all dont worry. In fact I like what you said, its a lot of commun sence :)
     
  17. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    And I've been reading your post also and I think you're a nice guy too, but honestly, sometimes you sound like your think you know everything :rolleyes:

    And you know Mr Nick, I'm not 12 years old and I dont think I sound like it, I came here, to find people with whom I can exchange. No, english is not my first language, sorry, but the only time you anwsered me was to say hum uh (or something like that) and I ask you what it met, usually when you exchange with someone, and someone ask to be more clear about somethings, you should answer, that is very basic politeness. I may be on the edge of immaturity, if that is what you met, but I'm always a gentleman towards people.

    Therefore, I'm not mad at you, but I dont like wise crack :wave:
     
    #17 B_Castello, May 25, 2009
    Last edited: May 25, 2009
  18. B_Castello

    B_Castello New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    I saw her today, and I told her I have something to tell her. But I could'nt say, so I wrote to her in put the note in her pocket :redface:
     
  19. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    11,912
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City, by way of Marblehead, Boston and Ge
    I guess you told me. You point is well-taken.

    But I stand by what I said. More or less. ;-)
     
    #19 B_Nick8, May 26, 2009
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  20. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2005
    Messages:
    14,610
    Likes Received:
    5

    I hope you were very clear with her. It's your duty ... both to her and to yourself.
    Someone said you should give her the option of just being your friend. I don't think that will work ... she will probably grasp at any possibility to keep close to you.
    I hope you were kind, but said with no equivocation at all that you're definitely not interested.
    Let us know what happens.
    This has happened to me five or six times (not recently), and trying to be too tactful at the cost of clarity, always extended the agony.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted