Depression in young women

[mrplow2]

Hey there,

I'm quite worried about my girlfriend. She is currently battling through a depressive funk right now and i'm not too sure what I can do to help.

Basically, as long as I have known her, she keeps all of her emotions bottled up inside. I think now all of her repressed emotions are boiling over and she is a wreck right now. The problem with her, is that she won't even talk to me about it. Infact she was starting to push me away beacuse I kept trying to talk to her about what is wrong.

I know that it is most likely due to the depression but she has totally lost her sexual libido. She doesn't even like to kiss anymore. Prior to this we'd have sex atleast every day. Now, the lack of sex isn't really a big deal to me. I was wondering if generally that is something that can pass.

I also know that alot of anti-depressants can also kill ones libido. Are there any that don't?

Does anyone have tips on how to help someone going through depression? I'm trying my best. I've given her space but at the same time she knows that I am still there for her for whatever she needs.

I just want her to get better

 

[denton85]

just keep telling her that you are there with her. And you are willing to listen if she wants you to. But keep reminding her that you want her to open up to her.... and at the same time don't pressure her.... it's a fine balance.

 

[mrplow2]

I think we are making progress. When it all started, she didn't even have her health care. Now she has gotten it and is more open to the idea of going to a doctor to get treatment.

The hardest part is the communication barrier that she has set up. I know that when I go through my depressive periods I just need someone to talk to - and that is the last she wants to do.

The sex issue isn't really bugging me too much because my anti-anxiety medicine killed my libido too

 

[helgaleena]

She may be in for rough times if she can't find the right med. Every person's system is different and if hormones are involved too it may be hard to figure out. Or even worse there may be a physical disease creeping up and draining her stamina. I am glad she has health care now and can do something about it. You can only keep on being a steady presence in her life and offering her the affectionate support and understanding. She is blessed to have you and probably wishes she knew a better way to let you know it.

 

[galaxus]

If you think its really a problem, try ask her if she can get professional consellling.

But sometimes you just have to keep your distance man.

 

[honeydew]

I have friends who go through this and one of them tells me she does not want to talk but to just have her husband there to hold her.,be supportive but not pushy. That adds to the stress at times.

 

[10.5andproudofit]

sorry I know you wanted a female opinion but-

I dated a woman who was very bi-polar for 2 years. She had a lot of issues, and it takes more than just 'being there' for her to stay in a healthy frame of mind. If you think she is suffering from serious depression, she needs professional help.

One of the best and hardest things I ever did in my life was calling that woman's mother and having an intervention that got her into a professional hospital for an extended stay to get her feet back under her again.

 

[mrplow2]

Things seem to have settled down a bit. She has been getting better at communication. The other day she told me that the attack she was having at that time was triggered by a picture of her grandfather. Today she told me about some roommate issues. So there is some progress.

Now it seems like she knows im there to talk when she needs to. I just need to give her some more space. I'm going to keep a bit of distance (ie: let her make the first move in terms of seeing eachother).

It's wierd. We've been dating for around a year, and friends for a year and a half. Going through this stage with her it almost feels like we're in a really fragile relationship.. that could be true with her state of mind I suppose.

 

[Not_Punny]

Brain chemistry problems rarely resolve with time; sometimes, they get even worse. So if you think it's bad now, imagine what it could be like six months from now. She needs help, not patience and understanding.

Also, it's quite possible that, when you were first officially dating (for the first 6-12 months or so), she was experiencing "new love," which is an emotional high that alters brain chemistry, lifts mood and fuels libido. Now, however, the relationship has mellowed, and the "high" isn't there anymore = she doesn't have enough serotonin and/or dopamine to lift her up anymore.

This is completely fix-able.

However, most counselors do not address neurochemistry, and not all psychiatrists are "up" on the most recent advances in brain imaging, neurotransmitters, and medical and supplement interventions.

Get the book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel Amen, MD. It's available in audio or paperback.

 

[helgaleena]

Keep urging her to get a full physical. Don't rule anything out. It's the friendly thing to do anyhow, no matter what.