Depression

[helgaleena]

I guess that you know better than all of us . I have been in the mediacal profession for over thirty five years.. I know your signs, symptoms both professionally and personally.. I'm sure if you wanted help you could get it regardless of your financial situation. most universities have free medical centers for their students.... Again, your brain is comming up with all these excuses why you don't need to seek medical help.. keep on drinking !!! When you bf finally has enough of your binges and everything else that goes along with alcohol addiction, and looks for someone he can come home to that is not drunk or hungover,then and maybe then you will seek the help you so despretely need. So, odviously, you don't any advice from us. At 25 you have all the answers!!!!

Well yeah, binges of any type are not balance, including the drinking. As I got older I found I simply couldn't drink huge amounts any longer, as the aftermath wasn't worth it at all! Now I drink 6-12 oz of beer a day at most, getting the vitamins and the relaxation without the nasty backlash.

 

[dunno_what]

@thickjohnny That sounds like a terrible situation and it ain't cool to see you in it. Fortunately for me, I have never been in a place where another person's actions have explicitly made me feel depressed or a need to run. I hope you come outta this alright man.

@onewatcher I know, even though your sarcasm was as subtle as a sledgehammer But, it is kinda different here... seeing a shrink has a stigma attached to it, while hiding and swallowing your issues doesn't... I dunno, that sounds very "bro" but its the truth for me as far as I can see it... fuuuuuuu- I rewritten this paragraph 5 times and I still can't phrase it the way i want :/

@helgaleena I do wish I had a routine, but my work vary between 18 hours of the day, and without study, and without finding time for my social life... routine is hard to find when a breakfast routine is hard to find, lol

 

[B_thickjohnny]

Thanks guys (and gals) for the positive rubs. As someone told me, at least I recognize what he's doing and take steps to move away from it.

Dunno: I hope that seeing where you are helps you sort through it. That step, recognizing it, really helps get things moving in the right direction. It's also good to have good and wise friends around you helping you along the way.

 

[helgaleena]

Yet, as I soon as I have finished typing that, I realise that it completely against why I started this thread in the first place:
a) I am in love, yet feel alone way too much;
b) My life seems on track, yet I don't know if I like this track;
c) I sound like whiny little shit, but I can't help myself!

Feeling alone when you have such a demanding life already is kind of a paradox, innit? In this civilized world the challenge is actually getting time to yourself! Perhaps what you meant was that you feel as if you spend too small a percentage of your time with your lover. That is something you and he must arrange between you, with equal input obviously.

Do not be afraid to talk to somebody whom you say accepts you completely as you are already; that is contradictory. Someone who accepts you completely CANNOT take offense from helping you solve issues that may be keeping you apart more than ideal.

Happiness is attainable and your discomfort is solvable.

 

[headbang8]

:
a) I really don't think I could afford to take meds, or see a quality professional shrink (/via being a post-grad student);

Australian Medicare covers psychiatry, but not psychologists. You'll need to get a referral from a GP, though.

 

[technopeasant]

Guys I will only say a little about this because I don't think a volume of words will change anything for you. My advice don't wait until you are 50 and have an SOB of a boss and a job that stinks that you are worried about loosing. Get professional help now and deal with this. Otherwise it will make you unhappy, feel unloved and never able to deal with people. The longer you wait the harder it is to break the thoughts. Take the advice and do something constructive. You can talk about it here or anywhere else on the net but, until you get to the bottom if the problem and work it out you will never feel better.

 

[Cosota]

A lot of us are or have been there.

 

[B_subgirrl]

a) I really don't think I could afford to take meds, or see a quality professional shrink (/via being a post-grad student);

Most meds for depression are on the PBS - they only cost around $30 a month. If you genuinely can't afford that, your income must be low enough to qualify for a Health Care Card, making the cost of meds just over $5 a month.

Australian Medicare covers psychiatry, but not psychologists. You'll need to get a referral from a GP, though.

Indeed it does. 12 individual sessions a year with a psychiatrist, plus 12 group sessions (if you wish to make use of them).

Additionally, as the OP is a post grad student, he'd be able to access university services. I've never heard of an Australian uni NOT offering free counselling services (usually with psychologists, sometimes with counsellors/social workers).

 

[D_Scotty Bagpipe]

ladies and gentlemen...let me introduce my good friend Nihilism

 

[davidjh7]

I have Dystemia---basically, a long term, usually life long chronic depression. I have done counseling, tried anti-depressants, etc. I understand the stigma you are feeling, our society treats any kind of mental issue as weakness--which it is not. If you had a broken arm, you would probably get it treated, or you would lose your arm. If you don't treat mental issues, you can lose your life. You sound like you have anxiety as well, which from all my reading sounds like you have some mania in there as well. First, I want you to know you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. It sounds like you have gone through a lot in your life, much of it happening before you were really mature enough to handle that level of crap. I can promise you that trying to bury it only makes it worse. Unfortnately, unless it reaches a level where authority steps in, and you don't want that, YOU have to take the first step. You have made the first effort by reaching out here. If you can't bring yourself to talk to a professional or even a good friend locally, talk to someone here--please message me if you want to talk---but talk to SOMEONE. The problems are ALWAYS worse when they are only in our own heads. Drag them out into the light of day by talking about them. If you just can;t bring yourself to talk to someone, write down, on a piece of paper, everything you are feeling, just to get it in some tangible form. It will make it more concrete and less scary to deal with. Please, talk to someone, let those who care about you help. You are NOT being a burden to people who love you and care about you. I care about you, because I FEEL what you go through all the time. You deserve to feel better. People want to help you, and care about you--believe it! If you don't think your bf can't tell you are suffering, and is suffering, too, think again. Trust me, by closing yourself off, you are not protecting him, you are isolating him, and hurting him. You seem like a wonderful guy, and you have great strength and determination, I can tell. You obviously have high intellegence, you have a man you love who loves you, you are on track in most ways to a better life, you are hung huge There is a LOT to be happy about, and positive about. Things could be worse. I also promise you, things CAN be better, too. Please let someone in--you ae worth it! Please contact me if you'd like to talk about it---I want to be here for you!