[quote author=JDAtlanta link=board=health;num=1069684910;start=20#32 date=03/02/04 at 08:10:40] Of the 5 different professionals I met with, only one of them was brave enough to give what I had a name so that I could start to research it. He called it retarded ejaculation..being just about the polar opposite of premature.[/quote]
JD, I suffered for a short but very distressing time from something similar .. the name I think for what I had is "ejaculatory incompetence", or so I discovered later. Maybe it was very different in origin from what you faced, but the result was much the same. I could not come.
It hit in my mid 20s. In my case it was 100% psychological, and it coincided with the peak of my sexual performance and with when I began sexual activity in earnest (marriage). I was so conscious of the force and amount of my ejaculations (easily in proportion to my size, in fact way in excess of what would be in proportion to it) that something deep seated in me held me back from letting go inside, it seemed too gross a thing to do. I got over it in the end by making sure to have come by jacking off not too long before having sex, to reduce the force and amount. Seems crazy, but it worked.
The same stratagem helped with my other problem, which developed as soon as I had got over this one - coming too quickly. You'd think those two problems would be the exact reverse of each other, and I must be crazy to have had them both
But one was a psychological barrier, and when that was dealt with the other purely physical one soon appeared. I think probably more men than might like to admit it have had problems in this area, and you are in good company. Shame your ex hadn't the wisdom to help you work it through.