Desperate call for help..(relationship gone wrong)

[killerb]

I am sorry...It was quite apparent to me from the beginning that this poster either enjoyed being in a submissive, abusive relationship or was inventing the whole thing because he wanted to be in a submissive, abusive relationship. The scenario is rather unlikely and, even if it did happen, would have been easy to avoid the multiple times it was repeated. I never have any problem with giving advice to those in real need, but this seems to me to be something else. The exasperation the wonderful respondents of LPSG who posted in response must feel by this time should be better understood in that light; this poster does not want this scenario (real or not) to end...he simply wants to talk about it.

I may be wrong...but I don't think I am.

I think you're quite right...

ever since July all 23 of his posts have been about this same situation...

I've been amazed at the amount of patience & concern exhibited by so many members...

 

[aztechx]

Look - he already knows you want him, since he woke up to find his dick in your mouth. He lashed out at you for violating him, and he had every right to do so. Consider yourself lucky that things have gotten back to normal, where you can be in eachother's company without all the tension that existed after all this first happened. Unless he's a complete moron, he's well aware that you want him. Therefore, if he wants anything to happen again in the future, the ball is in his court. Anything you do without his express consent at this point will likely result in your ruining the friendship forever. He gave you a second chance, don't expect a third.

does the express consent mean that it has to come verbally?the friendship was ruined because he didnt want me to do it..but at times,hes the one like i said,who 'invites' me to do it..i was looking forward for a relatonship that would allow us to be friends like now without having the sex to affect anything..to make it as casual as possible..but he seems to change so often..i mean change between wanting the sex and not wanting it and its hard for me to predict that..ive mentioned that at ties i do it as a way to please him evenwhen ive just jerked off and not really in the mood to do anything..but when he 'asks' for it..i would give it to him..

I am sorry...It was quite apparent to me from the beginning that this poster either enjoyed being in a submissive, abusive relationship or was inventing the whole thing because he wanted to be in a submissive, abusive relationship. The scenario is rather unlikely and, even if it did happen, would have been easy to avoid the multiple times it was repeated. I never have any problem with giving advice to those in real need, but this seems to me to be something else. The exasperation the wonderful respondents of LPSG who posted in response must feel by this time should be better understood in that light; this poster does not want this scenario (real or not) to end...he simply wants to talk about it.

I may be wrong...but I don't think I am.

to be honest,i myself am feeling stupid as the same thing is repeating itself over and over again and it looks like im bound to go down the same road..this thing started in february this year and ive been through alot..i wont plead for you to believe what i say but i posted here to get second opinions from those who have been through the same experiences..im only 21,i dont know much and im sure my judgements are mostly held back by immaturity..i admit that at times,i dont want this to end..i dont want the problem but i dont want this relationship to end..i dnot know but i wanted the sex to be something that bonded us rather then push us so far apart like before...ive said that i thought he would be ok with the way things went..from his reactions and so..now that uve mentioned it,i think i am in a submmisive and abusive relationship..i dont necessarily like it but im still unsure if i want to get out of it..

and if my posts before offends or even annoys anyone at LPSG..i would like to apologize for that..i dont have anyone to talk to regarding this..i may be stubborn but i need to vent about whats happening somewhere..living in a ckosed minded community like mine,id lose a whole lot of friends and face if people knew...

 

[B_mylipswet]

Why think of suicide when your lover is in obvious denial about his feelings for you?
I see this as "his" problem not yours. Your one up on him. You know what you want. As for him, he won't admit it. He is the weak one and your strong. My guess is he will be back should you leave him. Make him beg on his knees.

 

[nicenycdick]

to be honest,i myself am feeling stupid as the same thing is repeating itself over and over again and it looks like im bound to go down the same road..this thing started in february this year and ive been through alot..i wont plead for you to believe what i say but i posted here to get second opinions from those who have been through the same experiences..im only 21,i dont know much and im sure my judgements are mostly held back by immaturity..i admit that at times,i dont want this to end..i dont want the problem but i dont want this relationship to end..i dnot know but i wanted the sex to be something that bonded us rather then push us so far apart like before...ive said that i thought he would be ok with the way things went..from his reactions and so..now that uve mentioned it,i think i am in a submmisive and abusive relationship..i dont necessarily like it but im still unsure if i want to get out of it..

and if my posts before offends or even annoys anyone at LPSG..i would like to apologize for that..i dont have anyone to talk to regarding this..i may be stubborn but i need to vent about whats happening somewhere..living in a ckosed minded community like mine,id lose a whole lot of friends and face if people knew...

The only point I am making is, if you are in fact really in this kind of a relationship, you are obviously getting something out of it that makes the abuse worthwhile. You know you are being abused, yet you continue the behaviour. I think it is unhealthy, but that is only my opinion and it may satisfy some other, deeper needs that you have. That is true whether the scenario is real or just a story you've made up for us. Nevertheless, you are not really asking for advice...it seems more that you just want to re-live it all by discussing it over and over. Think about it carefully. It is not that you are annoying or offending anyone here...we really are here to help. But I don't think you want that...I think you just want the abuse. Either recognize it and enjoy it without pretense, or get some real help so that you can change.

Either way...good luck.

 

[aztechx]

Why think of suicide when your lover is in obvious denial about his feelings for you?
I see this as "his" problem not yours. Your one up on him. You know what you want. As for him, he won't admit it. He is the weak one and your strong. My guess is he will be back should you leave him. Make him beg on his knees.

the suicide thing was a one off..i was messed up really badly and i dont think it will happen again..

and i dont think 'love' would be the right word to describe him although i would love to call him that..i myself dont know what are we..im not even sure if he 'wants' me the way that i want him..sometimes he gives me the iimpression that he can live well without me..

The only point I am making is, if you are in fact really in this kind of a relationship, you are obviously getting something out of it that makes the abuse worthwhile. You know you are being abused, yet you continue the behaviour. I think it is unhealthy, but that is only my opinion and it may satisfy some other, deeper needs that you have. That is true whether the scenario is real or just a story you've made up for us. Nevertheless, you are not really asking for advice...it seems more that you just want to re-live it all by discussing it over and over. Think about it carefully. It is not that you are annoying or offending anyone here...we really are here to help. But I don't think you want that...I think you just want the abuse. Either recognize it and enjoy it without pretense, or get some real help so that you can change.

Either way...good luck.

i will have to admit to you that yes,it fulfills some things that i want inside me..which is why i choose to stay..and i keep thinking it will work out the way i want it to..but i have to disagree when u say that im discussing it over and over just to 're-live' it..i appreciate the effort and time of all those who have offered advice but does help have to come in the form of making me change only?

for some time ive tried that solution and somehow i finnd myself unable to follow since i do believe that this thing can workout..i didnt want to give up..like i said,i tell everything here to vent all my frustration and at the same time i need help from other people to tell me whats going on..my views are mostly from the wrong angle due to my feelings,emotions etc. and i need people from the outside to tell me what is going on.is the thng real or is whatever happening between billy and i something i set my mind to be real because he would never want to be willingly involved with me??ur claim of me making up the story is way too much..there are people here who knows that this all really happened..go back and read the things i said..those were straight fro my heart..i was struggling back then and u think i made that all up??

things between us are still going on fine...we've had 'sex' once since he started treating me nice again and im sure he was aware this time..just that his reaction when he got up was all calm and still nice..which leads me to me asking questions..was he asleep when it happened??are we finally mature enough to deal with this??who am i to him??this the are only a few qustions that keeps bugging me and it doiesnt make me feel very good..i know what im in is very unhealthy but i want to give it a go..just that i dont know where to start or how..and i cant judge the situation myself..i may be naive and stupid when it comes to that but i CANT judge the situation as i will always come to the conclusion that he wants me..

 

[B_mylipswet]

I don't want to give you false hope but, if he did not want you. He wouldn't be in that situation. He wants you.

 

[amygdala]

things between us are still going on fine...we've had 'sex' once since he started treating me nice again and im sure he was aware this time..just that his reaction when he got up was all calm and still nice..which leads me to me asking questions..was he asleep when it happened??

Can you describe what you mean by "sex?" What were the circumstances? How did it happen? What did you do?

 

[aztechx]

its twice now..you see,we have this large scale project we have been working on all the time..and he comes to my house everyday to do the project and since its our holiday now,theres only the two of us in that house..he is alone as well as he stays nearby while all the other students are back to their hometown..

situation is he sleeps in my room and i end up touching or sucking him..the first time he wrapped his legs around me when he was about to cum but the 2nd time he didnt move much..reaction after it was ok but after the 2nd time.he seemed ok b4 he left but didnt reply to much of my messages although he still jokes a bit..hes with his family on vacation now..

@mylipswet
i know he wants it at some point..but im afraid of what he is capable of doing next..he cud just make life miserable for me like before but the thing is,if he wants it i odnt mind giving it to him..and i know at some point he wants it,the way he drops the small hints..to be honest,what am i doing to him?im scared that i might scar him emotionally etc. as well..

 

[amygdala]

its twice now..you see,we have this large scale project we have been working on all the time..and he comes to my house everyday to do the project and since its our holiday now,theres only the two of us in that house..he is alone as well as he stays nearby while all the other students are back to their hometown..

situation is he sleeps in my room and i end up touching or sucking him..the first time he wrapped his legs around me when he was about to cum but the 2nd time he didnt move much..reaction after it was ok but after the 2nd time.he seemed ok b4 he left but didnt reply to much of my messages although he still jokes a bit..hes with his family on vacation now..

@mylipswet
i know he wants it at some point..but im afraid of what he is capable of doing next..he cud just make life miserable for me like before but the thing is,if he wants it i odnt mind giving it to him..and i know at some point he wants it,the way he drops the small hints..to be honest,what am i doing to him?im scared that i might scar him emotionally etc. as well..

Is there any discussion between the two of you about the sleeping arrangement? Any discussion about sex? Was he awake the last couple of times you started touching or sucking him? Did he cum in your mouth? Make any sounds when you were sucking or when he was cumming? Were his eyes open? Any discussion about the previous night's activities the next day?

 

[aztechx]

Is there any discussion between the two of you about the sleeping arrangement?
at times yes..i do ask him to stay back and stayfor the night..sometimes he accepts and sometimes he doesnt..but sometimes he just falls asleep at my place..

Any discussion about sex?
nope..not at all..

Was he awake the last couple of times you started touching or sucking him?
he will wake up at some point during the touching or sucking,but im not sure when..

Did he cum in your mouth?
yes..all the time..

Make any sounds when you were sucking or when he was cumming?
nope..seldom..there was one time when he slightly raised his head to see where i was before wrapping his leg around me..

Were his eyes open?
no

Any discussion about the previous night's activities the next day?
no..never.

 

[aztechx]

guys..just to update about how things are going on between us..we are still having very good times together..enjoying each others company alot..no sex in the past 8 days or so..i dont mind that but it still worries me alot about what will happen when the situation comes along again..the whole "does he want it or not?" thing will start all over again..a few days back,i tried to touch him,he precummed before sort of rolling over in a way that suggested that he doesnt want it..twice he did it and i stopped..didnt want to make things bad and he was still ok when he got up..but i cant help but feel afraid as i still dont know how to handle this thing..

 

[sexplease]

guys..just to update about how things are going on between us..we are still having very good times together..enjoying each others company alot..no sex in the past 8 days or so..i dont mind that but it still worries me alot about what will happen when the situation comes along again..the whole "does he want it or not?" thing will start all over again..a few days back,i tried to touch him,he precummed before sort of rolling over in a way that suggested that he doesnt want it..twice he did it and i stopped..didnt want to make things bad and he was still ok when he got up..but i cant help but feel afraid as i still dont know how to handle this thing..

Apparently, you love the chase....and he loves being chased. Try reverse psychology.
Or treat 'em like shit, they'll love ya forever. (as the saying goes)

Or I have an idea, go for someone who chases you.

 

[aztechx]

Apparently, you love the chase....and he loves being chased. Try reverse psychology.
Or treat 'em like shit, they'll love ya forever. (as the saying goes)

Or I have an idea, go for someone who chases you.

erm..how exactly do i do that?it would seem 'unnatural' at the moment right?

its funny how we havent spoken once abo8ut what happened..about his treatment to me..and everything..im not complaining but just wondering how htings cud just go by like that..

 

[aztechx]

i thought of putting this matter to rest since things between billy and i has been a whole lot better and it just seems to get better by the day..he treats me well..spending a large chunk of the day with me,having meals,doing our project and simply chatting with each other..i must say it is fun now that things are so good..and it seem that he really enjoy my company too..

but something happen yesterday and today that really jolted me..yesterday he was chatting with an unknown girl in a chatroom,and he went back to his home without logging out..and i just happened to see the word sex and couldn resist reading..just as a reminder,i know billy and i know he hasnt had sex b4 in his life..so heres the conversation..this are all direct translations and might sound odd..

billy:have u ever made love b4?
girl1:no..u?
billy:yeah once..a mistake i guess...
billy:we didnt really make love,just sort of licking and BJs.me licking her and she licking me.
girl1h..how was it?
billy:funny to think about it actually..
billy:what?
girl1:how was the sex?
billy:great!
billy:i loved it actually..
girl1:hmm..i miss my bf alot..sometimes i feel like hugging and kissing him..
billy:sometimes both of u wants it..u just have to ask..
and so on...they chatted about wanting to keep their virginity and he said he didnt mind licking since it wouldnt cost anyone anything..the girl was telling him about how she wanted her bf..

and today..it happened again..he went home not loggin out and i couldnt resist reading..he chatted up with another unknown girl..


blablabla
billy:im a bit crazy for sex at the moment
girl 2: r u serious?
billy: yes
billy: quite
billy: xtau nape
girl 2: u must be watching too much porn
blablabla
billy:i want to tell u something..but im worried u wont be open minded enough..
billy:do u watch porn?
girl 2:no
billy:then maybe u wont understand
billy:i went too far with my friend once..
billy:thats all
billy:no sex,just licking and so..
girl 2nly licking?
billy:yea
girl 2:who did you do it with?
billy:a girl
billyne of my friends
girl 2:it was mutual right?
billy:yeah.
girl 2:so whats the problem now?
billy:im addicted
billy:and i dont know what to do
billy:just wanted to find someone to talk to
billy:hello?
billy:u never tried being licked?
girl 2:u can be addicted to licking? (oral/BJ)
girl 2: why?
billy:feels really good
billy:i like it like that
billy:and i dont really know why.
girl 2:do u always do it?
billy:not really
girl 2:have u done it many times?

and the chat stopped there..i know i shouldnt have intruded his privacy in reading those messages but i just couldnt help myself..so what the hell is happening at the moment?there is no 'girl' in his sex stories and im very sure about that..sighhh...this is really adding up to the already confused mind of mine..

 

[Realslik]

I cant believe i read this whole thread, well skept some parts, your friend seems to have enjoyed what you were doing to him, well you better talk to him about sex, find a way to bring up the topic, and talk, talk about it before you feel that since he liked what you were doing, your free to just go have his cock in your mouth, talk to him, he might be open to you guys actually having fun, reall fun together, just one question though, when you suck him and he cums in your mouth, do you swallow?

 

[aztechx]

I cant believe i read this whole thread, well skept some parts, your friend seems to have enjoyed what you were doing to him, well you better talk to him about sex, find a way to bring up the topic, and talk, talk about it before you feel that since he liked what you were doing, your free to just go have his cock in your mouth, talk to him, he might be open to you guys actually having fun, reall fun together, just one question though, when you suck him and he cums in your mouth, do you swallow?

thanks for the reply..

ive been too afraid to bring up the topic to him since i dont want to make the whole thing awkward for us..i think he is under the impression that the whole time,i thought that he was really asleep as he never opens his eyes or 'say' anything..

and i doubt that he'd be open about it..the two outburst and painful treatment i received after that is enough to prove that right?im just generally still feeling scared about the whole thing..

i dont know whats going on in his mind...what he thinks about the whole thing..and of course,asking him is the easiest way but im afraid that might trigger something else..like him blaming me and being mad all over again..and he really can put me through hell when he wants to..

he confides in me alot nowadays.(maybe its bcos im the only one around) we talk about personal things alot..and he even tells me honestly that he enjoys manipulating people..said it in a joking way but it kinda scared me. as well..

 

[Realslik]

You could always lead him to read this whole thread.. Leave it open for him to read, he will understand how he made you feel and he might talk to you, for you to just stay in a friendship in which you're afraid of talking about certain things then its not real friendship, just take the risk, if he bursts out and yells again, tell him to take his fuken friendship and shave it!! I know i know he means so much to you, and i don want to be all gloom and evil but you can live without him, what if he dies- am sorry am just explaining, you wont let your life stand on hold, cos he is gone? things have to move on, so you can find other people out there, if you really tried searching, but you can only do so if he becomes arrogant and mean towards you, once you tell him how you feel, take the courage to tell him, because from what i have read, i don think you will be able to keep your hands off the forbidden fruit once he starts sleeping over at your place.. . . . you should not allow someone to take your happiness away, and make you feel bad about yourself no matter what, all the time you take being depressed is time you could have gone out and have fun, go to the movies, clubs, the park and just enjoy life really! Time spent in sadness is time you cant take back!

 

[aztechx]

You could always lead him to read this whole thread.. Leave it open for him to read, he will understand how he made you feel and he might talk to you, for you to just stay in a friendship in which you're afraid of talking about certain things then its not real friendship, just take the risk, if he bursts out and yells again, tell him to take his fuken friendship and shave it!! I know i know he means so much to you, and i don want to be all gloom and evil but you can live without him, what if he dies- am sorry am just explaining, you wont let your life stand on hold, cos he is gone? things have to move on, so you can find other people out there, if you really tried searching, but you can only do so if he becomes arrogant and mean towards you, once you tell him how you feel, take the courage to tell him, because from what i have read, i don think you will be able to keep your hands off the forbidden fruit once he starts sleeping over at your place.. . . . you should not allow someone to take your happiness away, and make you feel bad about yourself no matter what, all the time you take being depressed is time you could have gone out and have fun, go to the movies, clubs, the park and just enjoy life really! Time spent in sadness is time you cant take back!

i had to read your post a few times to properly digest everything..took some time to think but when u say i should tell him how i feel..what should i tell him about?and yes everytime he sleeps over id be tempted to touch him which is bad..andn ow that i know he is 'addicted' and longing for it,its messing up with my mind more..

ive been having 2 thoughts in my mind about what is in his head..
1)he is addicted to BJs already since i was his first..and he wants it but not sure if its right to get it from me..

2)he is addicted to BJs,and is trying to find a way to release that tension BUT definitely not with me and if i happen to touch him again when hes not in the mood,hes going to blow up again like he did before..

leading him to this thread and he will find out i read his messages..it was very bad for me to do that in the first place..he knows how i feel alright..i once spoke to him about how depressed i was and funny thing was,he was willing to listen..at that time we still found it hard to talk actually..and im sure he could see how depressed i was at times and so did my friends..and im sure my friends woukd have been talking about it..billy even told one guy that he knew what he was doing to me and he used some really nasty words against me..some of which my friend said its better i do not know..

theres alot of things that ive been keeping inside and until now im still not sure what and if i would speak to him about it..for me,we have had a 'mutual' understanding that this topic shall never be brought up..

 

[aztechx]

i have some updates on some big things happening..

well,billy has been avoiding body contacts with me alot..but he happened to sleep over today..i tried to touch him but he sort of rolled over and when i tried again later he sort of grunted or something..then i thought i could settle by just holding him a bit and you know what?he got up..he looked tense at first..but things were cool soon after..he didnt blow up or anything..

the thing is,im the one who is freaking out really badly at the moment..i feel like im traumatized by what happened in the past and im afraid that i screwed up again..what do u guys think?

oh yea..and happy new year guys!

 

[amygdala]

i have some updates on some big things happening..

well,billy has been avoiding body contacts with me alot..but he happened to sleep over today..i tried to touch him but he sort of rolled over and when i tried again later he sort of grunted or something..then i thought i could settle by just holding him a bit and you know what?he got up..he looked tense at first..but things were cool soon after..he didnt blow up or anything..

the thing is,im the one who is freaking out really badly at the moment..i feel like im traumatized by what happened in the past and im afraid that i screwed up again..what do u guys think?

oh yea..and happy new year guys!

Dude, I've been sympathetic to your plight, but you're teetering on that fine line between admirer and stalker. While he may occasionally "sleep" through a blowjob, more often than not, it seems, you're touching him solely to satisfy your own needs and desires without regard to his feelings on the matter. My STRONG advice is to cut it out before you find yourself jailed for sexual abuse.