Desperate; don't know what to do!

D_Bubba_Butter

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I am a Nobel prize winning physician, who has just devised a cure for HIV. In my spare time, I have worked out how to solve the world financial crisis by next Tuesday. I would have got the Nobel prize for economics for that, but I'm so extraordinarily modest that I didn't think it was fair to have two in the same year and turned it down. I will take the Fields Medal for the maths that I devised for it, though. But I digress, let me tell you more about me... I am so overwhelmingly soave and sophisticated that Beau Brummell and James Bond would have modelled themselves on me, had they been privileged enough to meet me; I may devise a time machine, so that they can. Anyhow, aside from my genius, my ability to play my Stradivarius in a way that Paganini couldn't have hoped to, my exquisite body that women drop dead at the sight of (because they have nothing else left to see in life), and remarkable wealth ( I recently bought Uranus for a laugh, and am having it swapped with Mars, so I can see it better), I have a tiny penis. It's so small, it can only be seen with an electron microscope. But I wanted to really pleasure a woman, so I went out and bought a used space shuttle and inserted that very slowly. The look on her face... Yada yada yada...

Loosely dedicated to the home planet of an alien living in Boulder, CO.
 

sizequeenNY

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So accomplished at the ripe old age of twenty five and some men wonder why they are only good for cuckholding- it's an easy way to make them shut the fuck up
 

Willifred

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I am a Nobel prize winning physician, who has just devised a cure for HIV. In my spare time, I have worked out how to solve the world financial crisis by next Tuesday. I would have got the Nobel prize for economics for that, but I'm so extraordinarily modest that I didn't think it was fair to have two in the same year and turned it down. I will take the Fields Medal for the maths that I devised for it, though. But I digress, let me tell you more about me... I am so overwhelmingly soave and sophisticated that Beau Brummell and James Bond would have modelled themselves on me, had they been privileged enough to meet me; I may devise a time machine, so that they can. Anyhow, aside from my genius, my ability to play my Stradivarius in a way that Paganini couldn't have hoped to, my exquisite body that women drop dead at the sight of (because they have nothing else left to see in life), and remarkable wealth ( I recently bought Uranus for a laugh, and am having it swapped with Mars, so I can see it better), I have a tiny penis. It's so small, it can only be seen with an electron microscope. But I wanted to really pleasure a woman, so I went out and bought a used space shuttle and inserted that very slowly. The look on her face... Yada yada yada...

Loosely dedicated to the home planet of an alien living in Boulder, CO.

That's nothing, I just won about 20 golds at the Olympics.

And my willy is at least double yours and I own six space shuttles, imagine the look on her face!!!!
 

Hand_Solo

Sexy Member
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My penis is so small that most of it exists in another spatial dimension. My lady is no size queen, but when I slid Sputnik into her choochie, her pupils got so big they exploded.