Desperate Times=Desperate Measures

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by bigdude, Dec 24, 2005.

  1. bigdude

    bigdude New Member

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    Let's face it-everybody has their lonely nights when they're stuck at home, nothing to do, and sex is on your mind. Of course there's only one way to relieve one's sexual tension during these times- masturbation. Of course most masturbate by fisting their cocks and stroking, but why not try something a bit more realistic?

    For those of you who are too cheap/embarassed/whatever to buy a sex toy, try making your own

    What you'll need:
    -2 sponges
    -a pair or 2 of socks
    -plastic wrap
    -a large cup/glass
    -desired lube

    Instructions:
    1. wrap the plastic wrap around each sponge tightly, and place both sponges together.
    2. now wrap 2 socks around the sponges tightly, and place the wrapped sponges (which are wrapped in the sox) into the cup, so that it sticks out of the end slightly
    3. pour some lube in the slit/hole between the 2 sponges, stick your meat inside, and pump away

    add/remove layers of sox wrapped around the sponges to vary the tightness. The texture of the sponges will adjust to the size of your cock, and the smooth/slippery sensation will resemble that of a female's fleshy vagina

    enjoy!
     
  2. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    excuse me if i don't?
     
  3. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

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    My fist fits just fine. With all the trouble you are going to, wouldn't it be just as easy to go out and hook up?
     
  4. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    well i guess if you have to do that then you most likely havent had sex in a long time nor will you be having sex for a long time.

    if you want sometihng easier try this

    1.log onto internet
    2.go to somekind of porn site
    3.beat your dick like it owes you money.
     
  5. mehgah

    mehgah New Member

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    Next thing you know, he'll be able to turn anything, anywhere into a sex toy:

    You've got 3 matches, a tube of hair gel and a VHS tape.

    Have at it.
     
  6. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    I agree with this.
    If you want something even easier than that, skip steps 1 and 2.
     
  7. bigdude

    bigdude New Member

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    maybe im just a very sexual person, and sex isn't at anybody's beckoning call whenever they want it, whether u wanna admit it or not. Why is it ok for girls to have dildos but the mere thought of a sex toy for a guy puts him in a different light? Jeez I thought u guys were a bit more open than that
     
  8. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    because what you said is going way to far to get yourself off, when you could easily do what i sad. if you want to get off why would you want to spend an hour building some toy, by the time your done building it you wont want to get off.
     
  9. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    I have nothing further, your honor.
     
  10. GoneA

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    what a perfect waste of time.
     
  11. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    UUUMMMMM I disagree!! I can have sex anytime I want!! It's always readily available to me!!

    So sorry for YOUR luck, must suck to be you!!
     
  12. AlobarFLL

    AlobarFLL New Member

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    I have to give some credibility to Bigdude's idea. The thought of repeatedly thrusting my cock into something that did not immediately say "ow,ow, ow, stop for a minute" sounds like a nice change of pace!
     
  13. tritonal

    tritonal Member

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    Since when did MacGuyver start doing porn?
     
  14. steve319

    Gold Member

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    Ah, c'mon guys. What's the deal with jumping someone who has found a way that works for him? I don't care if someone builds an elaborate apparatus that simultaneously stimulates the cock, pinches the nipples, and flosses the teeth---if it helps him get off in an enjoyable, safe, and responsible manner, I'm happy for him.:)

    Since when did we forget the "support" part of the title here?

    So relax, bigdude, and thanks for sharing.
     
  15. Onslow

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    I got worn out just reading the instructions--and if I need instructions I am in bigger trouble than I thought possible.
     
  16. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Okay, okay, dammit.

    But what worked for me when I was young and desperate was to put some lotion in a plastic shopping bag and place it between the mattress and foundation. My cousin even used that method: after he found me in my bedroom on my knees humping my bed. :rolleyes:
     
  17. bigdude

    bigdude New Member

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    there's the spirit hahaha

    and to everybody who's all like "what a hassle, i'm not gonna spend my time putting that together, u must never get sex, blah blah" did you see how many supplies you need? It's veerrry quick and easy, but ehh..
     
  18. Rikter8

    Gold Member

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    No Really! It works!

    I saw this in a Martha Stewart Living book!

    She's so resourceful......
     
  19. panthera

    panthera New Member

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    thanks big dude, i'll give it a try. have been quiet lately, life's been kinda rough again. was thinkin' of askin for some advice, but after reading the posts over the last few weeks, i gotta say: the support part is not real prevalent right now, seems like lots of folks are out to outrock dr. rock...maybe there just is no more interest in support?
     
  20. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

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    All you gotta do is find a cliff and a sheep. Put the sheep by the edge of the cliff and rail away. It'll push back because it's scared of plunging to it's death.

    Come on, that's what normal people do, not build sex toys. Where the fuck have you been living, under a rock?

    For real though, since when does an invention merit insults? Especially if it works for the guy.....
     
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