I'm writing this in order to help, and guide some of the more confused souls of life who visit this site as voyeurs, closet gays, fascinated straight men and the likes. For the people out there that do label them selves as straight, that are married and have children. For people out there that discreetly visit cottages, that actually do enjoy anal stimulation and can't tell the wives, girl friends; for fear of being labeled a Homosexual or Gay or deviant I'm 43 now, and all my life I've watched other people and seen their lives being torn apart by the labels they or others have attached to them. Children committing suicide, college kids dropping out, older men having their children taken away. The abuse, the bullying, and the hurt. Every day there are occasions where I think to my self "I'm glad that's not me". It doesn't happen to every one, but those that are affected by the labeling, seem to lead such tragic, disturbed lives. Their joy and happiness seems to be so limited. For a long time I've given thought to how people react and behave as a result of the labels they or others give to them, and nothing has a more profound affect on individual lives than the tags, of Gay, Homosexual, Poofter, Softy...........and so so many more. I'm a slow learner, I've lived a sheltered existence in a maddening world, I think I've come thru so far with out being marked, and lived in several different countries, all with different laws and attitudes towards Homosexuality, and deviant behavior. In saying that I am at ease with myself. But I'm lying to you and I'm lying to myself, the marks and scars of my life and the emotions I have had in them have made me to be who I am. Like many I've tried to conform my life to the way I have perceived that others perceive what is normal. Its taken this long time for me to realise that all human behavior from the one extreme to the other, is normal. There is no distinction between what is normal and what isn't normal, there are no grey areas. What is normal is a personal perspective, of where you as an individual draw the line for yourself, often that perspective is formed by the society with in which you live and the attitudes of those around you. For me absolute celibacy is not normal, and neither is any act that that causes physical trauma. In other words I think its un healthy not to get any sexual gratification, and I think its unhealthy where the acts of sexual gratification, draws blood or causes physical injury. I've seen countless men being horrified by gays, by being associated by gays, and the like. I have also seen these same men destroy them selves, their careers, their families all because they have committed what they believe to be a gay act, and as a result thinking that they are not normal. I've seen married men coming out, and labeling them selves as gay and then getting it all wrong, just because they have what in their mind is an unusual sexual preference. I cannot possibly take the female perspective on this, but on the whole the majority of women, sensible souls, are less affected by these labels, and being a lesbian has far less been punished as a social, moral or legal crime. That's not to say that Hundreds of South African women weren't locked up under the immorality act for being lesbians. That's changing now. Men and women have been having same sex intimate relation ships across the globe since God was a child. Equally in modern terms, having sex with a man does not make you gay, looking at a mans naked body does not make you gay. It does not make you a poofter it does not make you soft. Having the office clerk give you a blow job does not make you Gay. Experimenting with the office clerk in return does not make you Gay. Being Gay is a life style choice . I'll explain to you married straight men, its something I have learnt for myself, albeit not with out some soul searching confusion. I consider my self, cautiously as being straight. I prefer to live my life with a woman. I'm married, if I could have had children I would have, but that's another storey. It is my life style choice to live with a woman, that's what clicks with me. I can not envisage living, as married, to a man. But I prefer to look at men's bodies to women's, they are more defined, on the whole to me; tidier, more practical. Its the artistic form and functionality that does it for me. In other people it is the same for women. When it comes to sexual preference I prefer women, their bodies can be so more responsive than a mans to sexual arousal. But I don't draw any lines. I do enjoy anal stimulation, and in that regard the ultimate has to be a real life cock, nothing man made feels more enjoyable. In short I get a tremendous amount of satisfaction, by giving sexual satisfaction, as well as being the object of sexual gratification. Sex with men is a homosexual act, and that to me is where the word belongs. In the dictionary as a descriptive word. It is not a label or a word to describe yourself with or others. What is much more important, is being honest with your self, and open with your partner or partners. If you like anal stimulation tell your partner. If your partner finds that that is not something she wants to do, that's their choice and something you may well have to accept, but as with all partnerships there has to be give and take. In that she may well have to accept and she may enjoy watching, that you stimulate your self there. There is no need for any body to wreck their lives, just because they think they are gay, and that they have to conform to being normal in a normal society. I'm lucky I have an exceptionally nice body, I have a fantastic cock, and I have a fantastic sex life, and I have a good social life. I accept that every body and their sexual preferences are normal and I respect them for that. I talk to Gays dance with Gays have sex with Gays, as I do with "straight men and women". My life style choice is to live with my wife, whom I love adore and respect and have a fantastic life with. So Guys don't let the labels fuck with your mind, because at the end of the day its only you fucking with your self, and if you let it eat you then that's where you end up, by your self, or in the mortuary.