determining someones sexuality

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by madman411, Jul 30, 2006.

  1. madman411

    madman411 Member

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    I'm changing the names in this scenario (which is true) just incase one of them is, by chance, a member on this site.

    I can't figure out what my managers sexuality is. "Chris," the manager, has some very feminie attributes. The way he walks. How he says some words. How he talks to people, etc. Anyway, on numerous occasions I've turned around and he'll be looking at me, or sometimes he's staring as though he was checking me out (not to sound too narcissistic, lol.) But as soon as he sees that I've caught his eye he'll look away. He's caught me checking him out many times and he doesn't move out of the way, nor does he pull a face or ask me what the fuck I'm doing. He'll stand there, smile, and look down at whatever he was working on. Sometimes he'll put his arms out and say "what!?" and then grin. I can even go as far to say that I believe he's flirted with me many times by the way he jokes around with me, and "sarcastically" comments at what I'm doing (or should be doing)... He does joke around with other people but I see him doing it alot more with me.

    When he's with other male employees or other male managers they'll spend time pointing out hot girls out around the store, but when he's not with them he doesn't even bring girls up. Today I had the opportunity to take the same break hour as he did. We were by ourselves and he was reading a muscle magazine and as soon as another employee came into the break room he was commenting on how hot some of the girls were that were advertising products in this magazine. I didn't sit and just watch him read because that would've seemed weird. I can't work it out. I don't even know what to look for. I guess it would be easier for me to explain it to you guys if you could be in my shoes for one of my shifts when he's working and watch at how he is.

    For some reason it just doesn't seem real when he's talking about women (if you know what I mean), that he's acting and the fact he's lieing is showing, and when the topic of gay relationships come up he just typically shrugs and ignores it. Since I started working with him over a year ago I haven't once heard him mention a girlfriend or a potential date with anyone in particular. Could he be a "straight acting gay"? Bi? I honestly don't know what to look for because my gaydar is complete shit. For all it's worth, he could be as straight as straight can be and I could be completely wrong about him. I just need to know what to look for or what to 'casually' say to him to hint anything. Any suggestions? Sorry if my description was vague. It was hard to put it into words all these little "incidents" that's led me to believe he has an interest in men. If you want any info just ask and I'll do my best to answer your question.

    Thanks!
     
  2. SomeGuyOverThere

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    Sounds to me like he's useing the manly talk about women as a way to hide the fact that he's oogling over the men in muscle magazine.

    But sexuality is a grey area, and it could be that hes gay or bisexual or a camp strait guy or anything in between or not covered.

    In any case, why do you need to know? He's your boss! If he weirds you out with his looks, make sarcastic comments back at him.
     
  3. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    I agree w/the previous poster....It is going to drive you crazy if you keep trying to figure this guy out....I always say people reveal themselves in time when they want to....I knew an assistant manager at a firm I use to work at and he use to do the same thing especially when it came to talking about the ladies w/us guys....But to me he was trying too hard....Eventually he made his move on a guy who he didn't know was gay but really had a crush on and the guy happened to be a friend of mine so I knew all the macho crap he always did was fake....I give the guy credit - even though he knew I knew he still did the macho thing for awhile....Eventually he started dating a guy who he always introduced as his friend at parties and after awhile he just didn't care what people thought because everyone assumed it anyway....I say let a person reveal themselves....
     
  4. dakota

    dakota New Member

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    I've been trying to figure out if a guy I work with is into guys. At times when we are looking at, say a piece of paper, when he is standing next to me he has his arm pressed up against mine...and quite a firm press. He just keeps it there for a long period of time. Recently we shared a cab together and when he got in he only left enough room for me, which meant we were right next to each other out bodies touching. He didn't make a motion to move over on the seat. Another time standing in line at a fast good place he was leaning to try and read the menu and at the same time his whole body was in contact with mine. I didn't move and neither did he.
    I'm thinking this isn't normal behavior for a guy...What do you think??
     
  5. jfrsndvs

    jfrsndvs Member

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    I wouldn't put a whole lot of thought into it, just joke right back with him, and be sarcastic with him too.

    I can honestly say that there is this good looking guy at work that is in a different department, I honestly think that he could be gay or bi, we have joked around some, he never mentions women at all, and he has touched me on the shoulder a few times (I haven't noticed him doing that to other people), and when he sees me he always has a nice big smile aimed at me when he speaks to me, those are just a few observations, but I not going to put a whole lot of thought or fantacys in to it, if he says something to me, I will be cool with him, I won't do anything with him because of the fact that we are co-workers, and that can cause some problems, now if he want's to be good friends, I am all open for that.
     
  6. husky14620

    husky14620 New Member

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    I have a co-worker, he used to be my field supervisor, now he's just a co-worker. The very second day I was there he comes into the office bragging about the great sex he had with his wife the night before, how he loves it when she sticks her fingers up his ass, almost like getting fucked....

    He would often joke about "wanting" me, as I have been out at work from day one. (The rainbow stickers on the car are a pretty good give-away.) At first, it was annoying. Briefly, I suspected maybe he really was bi. Eventually a manager was present when he said something, and he was gently advised that such behavior COULD be harassment. In some ways, I kind of miss it. But I would NEVER EVER do anything with a co-worker, and would advise you to do the same. Especially if he's your boss! There are just too many things that can (and will) go wrong. If you ever quit, or he does, make your move on the last day of working together. That way it can't screw you over....

    Husky
     
  7. hung9mike

    hung9mike Well-Known Member

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    Hi Madman, you've obviously put a lot of thought into this question. But I'm curious to know why you're interested in his sexuality. What difference does his personal life make in your work environment?
     
  8. NYyankeeboi

    NYyankeeboi New Member

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    Well your thread didn't say straight guys couldn't respond so here goes. You will never know for sure if your co-worker is gay or not, until he decides to come to terms with it or comes out and tells you. I think that everyone has their time to come out and tell their friends and family members at their own pace.

    Each person is also going to be different, some might come out at 14 or 44. Just respect that and don't out them or ask other people, they may be having a difficult time with it.
     
  9. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    Are you a homo?

    ask him that and then look in the mirror and ask yourself that same question
     
  10. Heather LouAnna

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    HAHAHA
     
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