Diamond Engagement Rings: The High Price of Vanity

[Chantal_Kyrie]

My mistake...silly me. You're right, to the best of my knowledge, there's no such thing as a bezel cut. My brain was just thinking of a flatter cut stone with the setting either even with or raised around it, instead of prongs, so that it's protected from the sides. I can't handle high settings for everyday wear, as I hit them on everything. The only one I own is a MASSIVE mystic topaz cocktail ring, which I pretty much just bought because it's unbelievable ostentatious.

And I do agree with you...cleavage, inclusions, etc. are all things to look for. I actually didn't know emerald had so many problems...I'll freely admit precious gems are not my specialty.

Hardness isn't the only consideration. A hard stone is resistant to scratches but it may still fracture with a hard blow or be too brittle for daily wear.

As this page explains:

Durability

The two most familiar qualities of durability -- hardness and toughness -- are often misunderstood. Hardness is resistance to scratching or piercing. Toughness is resistance to breakage. The combination of the two largely defines the durability of a gemstone.



This guide explains the durability of gems.

This site is excellent for looking up the toughness of any particular stone.

This page does a good job of explaining the factors that make up a stone's durability: hardness, cleavage, partness, brittleness/toughness, thermal shock, inclusions. It explains why an emerald has a toughness rating of fair to poor, even though it has a hardness of MOHS 7.5-8 because it is susceptible to thermal shock and it is heavily included, which causes it to chip easily. You can look up any stone on this site and see both it's hardness and toughness rating.

I've never seen a bezel cut before. Is it a special cut for a bezel setting? I think they can put any cut of stone into a bezel setting. I was actually thinking of a concave cut myself, either round or oval or cushion. I fell in love with the concave cut when it was brand spanking new way to cut gemstones about 10 years ago, so I think that's what I want! I'm Richard Homer's first fan. :tongue:

 

[Bbucko]

I'm not really sure what I was expecting when I started this thread. On the one hand, IRL I've met very few women who'd be less than satisfied without some huge, vulgar rock on her hand, if for no other reason than a wish to show off how "well" she'd married. But then again I seem to meet an awful lot of materialistic and shallow people (especially here in SoFla).

On the other hand, I now enough about the female membership of LPSG to know that they are a practical bunch who are outspoken and frank as regards what's really important to them as opposed to what the media, both print and broadcast, spoon-feeds them as what is necessary in life and how best to conform to "ideals" (whatever they happen to be at any given moment).

Thanks, again, for the great responses.

 

[alwaysguessing]

To clarify, you're saying that most women you have met would not be happy without an expensive ring?

 

[petite]

I'm not really sure what I was expecting when I started this thread. On the one hand, IRL I've met very few women who'd be less than satisfied without some huge, vulgar rock on her hand, if for no other reason than a wish to show off how "well" she'd married. But then again I seem to meet an awful lot of materialistic and shallow people (especially here in SoFla).

On the other hand, I now enough about the female membership of LPSG to know that they are a practical bunch who are outspoken and frank as regards what's really important to them as opposed to what the media, both print and broadcast, spoon-feeds them as what is necessary in life and how best to conform to "ideals" (whatever they happen to be at any given moment).

Thanks, again, for the great responses.

:lmao: I don't need a ring to show how well I'm marrying. TheBoyfriend is obviously a "catch" and he's proof enough just being himself. :smile:

I have no problem with bucking tradition. A lot of my friends have also chosen modest rings or decided not to buy diamonds and chose precious gems instead.

I am a sucker for pretty things and I am a sentimental person, but many pretty things are not expensive. I think cut gemstones are more unique than diamonds anyway. I am a fan of gemstones and I have been aware of the blood diamond issue for a very very long time.

I especially love concave faceting. Wink Jones is a great jeweler. I must recommend him. Here are some before and after examples of Richard Homer's work off Wink Jones' site, where Richard Homer re-cut a precious gem without much sparkle to make it much more beautiful using his concave faceting technique.

Richard Homer Recut

 

[Bbucko]

To clarify, you're saying that most women you have met would not be happy without an expensive ring?

That's exactly what I'm saying. In the 25+ years that I worked in the furniture industry (mostly retail sales management), I had the pleasure of working with hundreds of professional women. The quality and size of diamonds was a very frequent subject of conversation with observations of vulgarity being exceptionally rare.

Also notice that in the OP I hardly let men off the hook, either. Diamonds are all about perceived status and and display, as the majority of posts here concur, they ultimately have little to do with the expression of commitment.

 

[Bbucko]

I have no problem with bucking tradition. A lot of my friends have also chosen modest rings or decided not to buy diamonds and chose precious gems instead.

One of the reasons for my continued respect for the female membership here is their non-traditional mindsets.

You're a fascinating bunch.

 

[petite]

I forgot to mention that Wink Jones only carries diamonds from the best diamond cutters that use conflict free diamonds. You can have "hearts and arrows" and a guilt free diamond at the same time. If you are concerned about conflict diamonds, one of the ways you can fight it is by using a jeweler like Wink Jones who refuses to sell them. I don't buy diamonds, but the fact that Wink Jones won't sell a conflict diamond matters a lot to me. I'd rather support a business with ethics like that, and the fact that Wink is also a brilliantly talented craftsman makes him perfect.

Winfield's Jewelers

He's not only an amazing craftsman, he's an incredibly nice man. He'll work with you because he cares about making his customers happy.

 

[a_sus]

When I met the girl that I wanted to be with for all my days, I knew that I wanted to make statement of my love for her. So I bought her a diamond ring as a token of this. I am not one for weddings and never really believed this concept before, but it's nice knowing my beautiful girl has a beautiful ring that she wears everyday which symbolises my feelings for her. Yes it's materialistic and vane, but it's very sexy to see the girl I love with something on her sexy fingers that sparkles almost as magnificently as she does..
Just my 2 cents.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I think diamond rings are more for other women to impress other women with the size of the diamond. It's a status symbol that shows up all the other ladies at the salon. Not just an "Im married" but "I might actually be wealthy also" status.

 

[dolfette]

i didn't want a diamond.
i don't like diamonds.
i told him this.
i still got a diamond, because he wanted the world to see how expensive his love for me was.

 

[wallyj84]

First off, I would never get married. Second, even if I was to get married (as if any woman would be so desperate) I would never buy that woman a diamond ring.

I might buy her a replica Green Lantern ring, that we would share, but not a diamond ring.

 

[hung_proper1978]

I think it's really disgusting how some women lose their minds with the whole bridezilla trend. The idea of being a "fairy princess" on your wedding day is kind of absurd and sets women back a few hundred years. The focus really should be on the marriage not the ceremony. No wonder half of all marriages end in divorce. I wonder how many women say "yes" because they want a rock on their finger.

GOD YES.

I have been saying this for years. Women just look at me like I am an idiot. But I have know a couple women who have admitted to me the last statement......and surprise surprise they are divorced!

 

[curious_angel]

The most beautiful engagement ring I have ever seen wasn't for its aesthetic value alone. My friend worked with a Jeweller to design the ring, making it unique and very personal. It was expensive, but the expense was because it was bespoke rather than being just for show. I thought it was such a romantic thing to do and I'm still very jealous of his, now, wife!

 

[petite]

First off, I would never get married. Second, even if I was to get married (as if any woman would be so desperate) I would never buy that woman a diamond ring.

I might buy her a replica Green Lantern ring, that we would share, but not a diamond ring.

That is adorable!

I have to admit, whenever I see an emerald, I think of Krytonite.

The most beautiful engagement ring I have ever seen wasn't for its aesthetic value alone. My friend worked with a Jeweller to design the ring, making it unique and very personal. It was expensive, but the expense was because it was bespoke rather than being just for show. I thought it was such a romantic thing to do and I'm still very jealous of his, now, wife!

I agree with this. Working with a jewelry designer to create a unique design makes such a sentimental piece much more meaningful.

 

[HiddenLacey]

What is up with the someone taking you to pick out a ring? Doesn't it mean more when they put the thought into it themselves? I just don't understand why someone would reject a ring because it wasn't what they wanted. One of my best friends was asked by her boyfriend (now their engaged) if she would wear his grandmothers ring, which his mother had also worn, she told him she thought the ring was ugly and she hated yellow gold. I understand it maybe was not what she had dreamed of but why not accept the sentimental value behind it, he loves you that much that he's going to make you a third generation gift of that ring. Anyway he bought her another ring. But when she asked me about it I told her in my I love you girl way that there's more to it than just the way it looks. I think the ring was a ruby and yellow gold, it was very pretty and antique.

 

[petite]

What is up with the someone taking you to pick out a ring? Doesn't it mean more when they put the thought into it themselves? I just don't understand why someone would reject a ring because it wasn't what they wanted. One of my best friends was asked by her boyfriend (now their engaged) if she would wear his grandmothers ring, which his mother had also worn, she told him she thought the ring was ugly and she hated yellow gold. I understand it maybe was not what she had dreamed of but why not accept the sentimental value behind it, he loves you that much that he's going to make you a third generation gift of that ring. Anyway he bought her another ring. But when she asked me about it I told her in my I love you girl way that there's more to it than just the way it looks. I think the ring was a ruby and yellow gold, it was very pretty and antique.

No, not necessarily.

It is meaningful to have your partner choose your engagement ring for you, and I couldn't imagine rejecting any ring someone else picked out for me either, how petty!

I agree with you that asking her to marry him with his grandmother's ring was extremely romantic and meaningful. I don't think I would have asked for another ring either!

I also wouldn't be bothered if he wanted my input on the engagement ring. A lot of my male friends have proposed without a ring. I think there's a lot of fear that he'll spent so much money and it wasn't exactly what you wanted. He knows that you're going to be wearing it for the rest of your life, or at least he hopes so, so I can imagine that there's a fear that he spent so much money and for the rest of your life you might look at it and think, I wanted something more ornate, or I wanted something more modern... I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that myself! I empathise with that feeling, and depending on the woman and the situation, creating a bespoke ring together might be more meaningful, or the process of shopping and choosing a ring together might be such a marvelous memory in itself that it makes it worth it.

I really don't believe in "rules" when it comes to romance. There are many ways to create happy and meaningful memories.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Ah thats true Petite. I wasn't thinking of it as being a romantic experience to pick it out together. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. I would rather he ask me what I like, or for him to notice the style's that I have now, than to take me to pick it out. I guess I like that old fashioned proposal with the ring you've never seen being placed in front of you by the man you love more than the world. To me thats what would make for a special moment and a special ring. I would do it the other way if thats what he wanted. But as I said I'm old fashioned.

 

[petite]

Ah thats true Petite. I wasn't thinking of it as being a romantic experience to pick it out together. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. I would rather he ask me what I like, or for him to notice the style's that I have now, than to take me to pick it out. I guess I like that old fashioned proposal with the ring you've never seen being placed in front of you by the man you love more than the world. To me thats what would make for a special moment and a special ring. I would do it the other way if thats what he wanted. But as I said I'm old fashioned.

Having gone to some jewelry stores and tried a bunch of rings on together, let me tell you, it is fun!

I understand the idea of the old fashioned proposal where the man makes all the choices and creates the scene and the memory for both of you, but I also sympathise with men placed in the position of making one of the largest purchases in their lives and being insecure that they'll make the wrong choices. They both come from a place of wanting to please you, so that makes it as equally meaningful to me.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Having gone to some jewelry stores and tried a bunch of rings on together, let me tell you, it is fun!

I understand the idea of the old fashioned proposal where the man makes all the choices and creates the scene and the memory for both of you, but I also sympathise with men placed in the position of making one of the largest purchases in their lives and being insecure that they'll make the wrong choices. They both come from a place of wanting to please you, so that makes it as equally meaningful to me.

Yep, we are definitely different in that aspect, because I would fully expect the man that I loved to know I would be happy with whatever he gave me because I love him, not the ring. No reason to sweat or be insecure about a ring. I'm not saying that to be a jerk by any means I know guys get nervous too, I don't expect superman, just someone that already knows that being asked to be his wife is way more important than anything else. And honestly I would be more interested in his face at that moment than whatever ring he has. And later it would be wonderfully important to me because I knew it came straight from his heart! I'm super mushy!

 

[petite]

Yep, we are definitely different in that aspect, because I would fully expect the man that I loved to know I would be happy with whatever he gave me because I love him, not the ring. No reason to sweat or be insecure about a ring. I'm not saying that to be a jerk by any means I know guys get nervous too, I don't expect superman, just someone that already knows that being asked to be his wife is way more important than anything else. And honestly I would be more interested in his face at that moment than whatever ring he has. And later it would be wonderfully important to me because I knew it came straight from his heart! I'm super mushy!

Would it bother you then if he asked you to be his wife without a ring as long as he asked you from his heart? On the one hand you say that the ring doesn't matter, but on the other hand you say that you'd be disappointed if he doesn't have a ring when he proposes, which means that the ring does matter to you. If the most meaningful part is just him asking you, then shouldn't it not matter if he doesn't have a ring when he does it? To me it doesn't make it less romantic.