Diamond Engagement Rings: The High Price of Vanity

[HiddenLacey]

Would it bother you then if he asked you to be his wife without a ring as long as he asked you from his heart? The ring being part of the proposal is just symbolic, isn't it? On the one hand you say that the ring doesn't matter, but on the other hand you say that you'd be disappointed if he doesn't have a ring when he proposes, which means that the ring does matter to you, you don't want to be asked without one. If the most meaningful part is just him asking you, then shouldn't it not matter if he doesn't have a ring when he does it?

Actually I never said I would be disappointed if I was asked without a ring, your reading to much into what I am saying. The ring is a symbol, its the gesture that makes it worthwhile to me.

 

[petite]

Actually I never said I would be disappointed if I was asked without a ring, your reading to much into what I am saying. The ring is a symbol, its the gesture that makes it worthwhile to me.

Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that you would be disappointed if he didn't buy a ring and do the whole old-fashioned traditional proposal thing.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that you would be disappointed if he didn't buy a ring and do the whole old-fashioned traditional proposal thing.

Nope

ring=symbolism

That is why I said I would prefer if he got it because it's coming from him. Just like I would rather get him a ring myself. It is just being asked that counts. NOT HOW or WHERE either. Just that I'm that special to him.

"my name"= simple

The ring itself is a gift of love and committment to me (it is a symbol of your devotion to one another)

It's like receiving any gift, even if it's something insane that I wouldn't have picked out for myself, it's the thought behind it that counts.

 

[alwaysguessing]

i didn't want a diamond.
i don't like diamonds.
i told him this.
i still got a diamond, because he wanted the world to see how expensive his love for me was.

Or maybe he had trouble believing you.

 

[petite]

Nope

ring=symbolism

That is why I said I would prefer if he got it because it's coming from him. Just like I would rather get him a ring myself. It is just being asked that counts. NOT HOW or WHERE either. Just that I'm that special to him.

"my name"= simple

The ring itself is a gift of love and committment to me (it is a symbol of your devotion to one another)

It's like receiving any gift, even if it's something insane that I wouldn't have picked out for myself, it's the thought behind it that counts.

I understand what you mean, and a lot of women have been exposed to that "magical moment" from movies and TV where he surprises her by bringing out the box and opening it to reveal a ring while it dawns on her that he's asking her to marry him. I love that moment, too! That moment and that memory would be better than whatever ring is in the box.

 

[petite]

Or maybe he had trouble believing you.

On the jewelry forum I visit, there are a lot of men who express that they want a big impressive diamond. It's not just a feminine desire for her to wear one on her hand. There are men who want that, too, for the exact same reasons that women want it.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I understand what you mean, and a lot of women have been exposed to that "magical moment" from movies and TV where he surprises her by bringing out the box and opening it to reveal a ring while it dawns on her that he's asking her to marry him. I love that moment, too! That moment and that memory would be better than whatever ring is in the box.

Now ya get me:biggrin1: Normally there is no underlying thought to be had for most of what I say. The ring comes second, box, no box, empty box:tongue: Just the man and the emotions on his face are what makes the moment, no more, no less.

 

[dolfette]

On the jewelry forum I visit, there are a lot of men who express that they want a big impressive diamond. It's not just a feminine desire for her to wear one on her hand. There are men who want that, too, for the exact same reasons that women want it.

so fucking true!

i picked out a cute, inexpensive flower ring.
he bought me fucking diamonds
looking back i realise it was more about impressing others than pleasing me.

 

[dolfette]

i'm still bitter. does it show?

 

[HiddenLacey]

i'm still bitter. does it show?

Nope, not at all:tongue:

Some people are always more interested in impressing others when none of those people really even matter.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Much to my mother-in-law's horror and embarrassment, my husband presented me with an exquisite Sapphire engagement ring when he proposed in front of his entire family. I was embarrassed that she found it necessary to explain to everyone over and over why her son didn't buy me a diamond. I will always be amazed that she couldn't let the ring's beauty speak for itself. When my husband hinted that he was shopping for engagement jewelry, I told him outright: NO DIAMONDS! I also reminded him that sapphires and tanzanites are my favorite stones. Sapphires are his birthstone, so he chose.

We also opted not to throw a wedding. We had planned a really inexpensive wedding that had everything we wanted. It would have been in Puerto Rico, had 160 guests, and cost about $6,000. We were ready to put the down-payment on the hall, and we were also pricing out the honeymoon we wanted. The honeymoon also came out to $6,000. So did an amazing 9-day cruise. So was the down-payment on a sick condo in downtown Miami...

I just kept asking as I looked at our checking accounts if we could possibly get the same amount of pleasure from feeding a bunch of people we barely see as we could from things which cost as much.

We never did throw the wedding. We never will.