Dick size and job hunting

[ronin001]

I always interview with a suit, and button at least one button when I stand up. So unless I am meeting with a M/F perv with their eyes only focused only on my crotch there is little to see

 

[desilover]

I had an interview recently and before going to it, I decided to stuff my underwear with two socks so that I had a noticeable bulge in my pants. Lo and behold less than 24 hours later I'm informed that I've got the job. Coincidence? I think not.

Penis size matters when you're looking for a job. A man with a big penis is naturally more competent than a man with a smaller penis and employers know this. If I had not stuffed my pants, I would still be unemployed right now. That interview didn't go any better than my previous interviews, in fact in some ways it went worse, but the interviewer was impressed by my bulge and that got me the job. The only problem is that I'm going to have to keep on stuffing my pants for the rest of the time I work at this company.

Does anyone else have any similar stories of their dick size, or at least the implication of size, getting them a job?

give it up..

 

[wallyj84]

give it up..

Give what up?

 

[rope9839]

I don't think it had much to do with the outcome of the process, but once I was getting ready to walk into a job interview and my wife sent me a text that when I was talking to these guys, remember I "was the one with the giant cock." Seriously, lol. Better yet, turned out I was interviewed by two women. I didn't get hired, so it must not have mattered much.

 

[LilJock]

Better yet, turned out I was interviewed by two women. I didn't get hired.

First "serious" job I applied for, I was interviewed by the head of Human Resources, Dorothy S., a nice-looking, well-dressed, well-coiffed and well made-up brunette. At first glance, she looked about thirty. At second, more like a well-preserved fifty. After a second interview with a department manager, a not so well preserved fifty-five-year-old, dried-up stick of a man who took an inordinate amount of care in shuffling papers and neatly aligning pens and paper clips, I got the job.

I started off in a big department with lots of people my age. I soon noticed that all the guys were good-looking and all the gals above average (dogs!). If this were golf, the chicks would all be quadruple bogeys. A couple weeks later I happened to have lunch in the cafeteria with the HR's secretary. I alluded to the curious divergence in looks between the sexes in my department. She threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, you noticed. . . Dorothy's man crazy. If a guy's really attractive, she'll ring through to the manager and say, 'I've got someone you should see.' She'll skip lunch if there's someone really special in the waiting room. Any good-looking women she sends on their way. Doesn't want any competition."

When I had business down on her floor, I'd occasionally see her in the hallways, groping along the walls to get her bearings because she was too vain to wear her glasses in public. I once said "Hi!" She had to draw near and squint before she recognized who it was.

I have no idea whether Dorothy was a size queen or not, but it certainly had no place in her hiring practices. She was too blind to see anything but a vague shape as I entered her office, and before I was close enough to impress her with a second pair of socks, I was comfortably ensconced before her desk. Dorothy had loftier standards - young, male, and a resemblance to the men on the covers of Gothic Romance novels.

 

[wallyj84]

First "serious" job I applied for, I was interviewed by the head of Human Resources, Dorothy S., a nice-looking, well-dressed, well-coiffed and well made-up brunette. At first glance, she looked about thirty. At second, more like a well-preserved fifty. After a second interview with a department manager, a not so well preserved fifty-five-year-old, dried-up stick of a man who took an inordinate amount of care in shuffling papers and neatly aligning pens and paper clips, I got the job.

I started off in a big department with lots of people my age. I soon noticed that all the guys were good-looking and all the gals above average (dogs!). If this were golf, the chicks would all be quadruple bogeys. A couple weeks later I happened to have lunch in the cafeteria with the HR's secretary. I alluded to the curious divergence in looks between the sexes in my department. She threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, you noticed. . . Dorothy's man crazy. If a guy's really attractive, she'll ring through to the manager and say, 'I've got someone you should see.' She'll skip lunch if there's someone really special in the waiting room. Any good-looking women she sends on their way. Doesn't want any competition."

When I had business down on her floor, I'd occasionally see her in the hallways, groping along the walls to get her bearings because she was too vain to wear her glasses in public. I once said "Hi!" She had to draw near and squint before she recognized who it was.

I have no idea whether Dorothy was a size queen or not, but it certainly had no place in her hiring practices. She was too blind to see anything but a vague shape as I entered her office, and before I was close enough to impress her with a second pair of socks, I was comfortably ensconced before her desk. Dorothy had loftier standards - young, male, and a resemblance to the men on the covers of Gothic Romance novels.

I be even half blind that lady could have seen a bulge.

 

[desilover]

Give what up?

the constant moping..

 

[wallyj84]

the constant moping..

Who's moping? Not me.I'm just stating that big dicks are superior. I don't think that's sad or anything, so I'm not moping.

 

[Hoss]

Just remember Wally, you'd better not go to use the urinals when any of your co-workers are in the men's room or you will be immediately fired.

Yeah and you'd better not take part in the company's annual picnic where there are fun and games and they dunk the new employees with huge bulges in the water....your socks would take on a really weird shape and frighten the crowds.


Better not go to any gym that any co-worker might frequent or they may get a glimpse of the real you and your true size and then too, you'd be out of a job for fibbng.


Essentially Wally, you are screwed.......and not in a good way.

 

[wallyj84]

Just remember Wally, you'd better not go to use the urinals when any of your co-workers are in the men's room or you will be immediately fired.

Yeah and you'd better not take part in the company's annual picnic where there are fun and games and they dunk the new employees with huge bulges in the water....your socks would take on a really weird shape and frighten the crowds.


Better not go to any gym that any co-worker might frequent or they may get a glimpse of the real you and your true size and then too, you'd be out of a job for fibbng.


Essentially Wally, you are screwed.......and not in a good way.

That's a good point. I don't think the middle one is a real concern, but the first and last possibilities are very real. I will stick to using the stall anytime I have to piss and won't head to the gym inside the building.

I know you were being facetious, but good looking out!

 

[Auggiecakes]

I had an interview recently and before going to it, I decided to stuff my underwear with two socks so that I had a noticeable bulge in my pants. Lo and behold less than 24 hours later I'm informed that I've got the job. Coincidence? I think not.

Penis size matters when you're looking for a job. A man with a big penis is naturally more competent than a man with a smaller penis and employers know this. If I had not stuffed my pants, I would still be unemployed right now. That interview didn't go any better than my previous interviews, in fact in some ways it went worse, but the interviewer was impressed by my bulge and that got me the job. The only problem is that I'm going to have to keep on stuffing my pants for the rest of the time I work at this company.

Does anyone else have any similar stories of their dick size, or at least the implication of size, getting them a job?

I get the notion that you steped through the wardrobe one too many times.

 

[wallyj84]

I get the notion that you steped through the wardrobe one too many times.

I don't get the reference.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I don't get the reference.

Google the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Then read C.S. Lewis's classic series, and make up for all you missed in childhood.

 

[AlteredEgo]

LOL

You can't just flash some cleavage and get whatever you want? j/k

Before an interview, I stake the place out, and come to the interview in whatever I have that matches/mimics an outfit I have seen my prospective boss or his or her boss wear. Then, during the interviews, especially when I eventually sit with the person whose outfit I copied, I physically mimic the interviewer. I swear I have gotten jobs I was in no way qualified for by doing this.

 

[326807]

Stupidest thread of the year winner!

 

[wallyj84]

Before an interview, I stake the place out, and come to the interview in whatever I have that matches/mimics an outfit I have seen my prospective boss or his or her boss wear. Then, during the interviews, especially when I eventually sit with the person whose outfit I copied, I physically mimic the interviewer. I swear I have gotten jobs I was in no way qualified for by doing this.

Mimicing the interviewer is a classic tactic. It works because it makes the person you're copying like you. It's a proven strategy.

It's not as good as stuffing your pants, but it's very good.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Mimicing the interviewer is a classic tactic. It works because it makes the person you're copying like you. It's a proven strategy.

It's not as good as stuffing your pants, but it's very good.

LOL!! Congratulations on your new gig.

 

[sangheili90]

LMFAO, is this real life? If so, this might seriously be the funniest thing I have ever heard.

 

[drambone2001]

You naysayers need to plug into the magic of our awesome cocks.

 

[halcyondays]

Complete nonsens. I've conducted hundreds of job interviews and auditions and never ever have I been looking at peoples bulges during the interview. Let alone base a decision on it.

^This.

I've interviewed and hired hundreds as well. Tall, short, fat, slim, young, old, black/white/hispanic/asian--only their professional qualifications and experience matter.

Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously you have.

Ridiculous. Nor have I hired women with the largest tits or supermodel looks over someone more qualified.