You would be surprised how little consideration they can have even with a LGBT relative. Check out Sarah Schulman book "Ties That Bind: Familial Homophobia and Its Consequences". Here's a short video that pretty much sums it up:
I agree with what Schulman says. However, I'd expand it to include other kinds of inherent difference. I've seen (presumably) straight family members respond to gay members much as they would to a family member who has autism. Whether gay or autistic, the difference is a burden the "normal" members need to "carry", "tolerate", "make allowances for", "handle", etc. I think this behaviour is simply a socially acceptable way of making oneself feel superior by putting another person down. I.e. It's a more polished and polite version of the aggression Schulman discussed. It's just as angry and aggressive; it's just softer and at a lower volume.
In some ways I was lucky in the way things turned out. When "he" fell into my lap I was already financially secure, newly single, and had already made a decision to live my life for me and try new things. If I hadn't already had all that in place, I don't think I'd've come up with the idea of kissing "him" when I was asking myself, "How can I shut him up, shock the shit out of him, AND wipe that smirk off his face?"
The funniest thing about it was that I had no notion of anything "gay" going through my head when I kissed him. Obviously, that changed in about 5 seconds when I realized I was having BY FAR the best kiss of my life. My next thought was something like, "If this is kissing while fully clothed, what's actual sex like?"
It wasn't until a couple of weeks (and much experimenting) later that it occurred to me I was supposed to be having some kind of crisis or panic over being gay....... but it never happened, lol.
