Did you "choose" to be gay?

Haggard_Wisdom

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I didn't choose. I remember loving Erik Estrada from CHiPs at an early age. I chose to be in the closet and dated women. Fast forward to my mid 20s, I came out. I used to comment I would have chosen to be straight & "normal"... now I'm just happy being me. And I'm a normal guy. Sexuality is so personal. You have to live a happy life, whether it's gay, straight or bi. At the end of the day, nobody cares, at least not anyone that should be in your life!

Right on!
 
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Smaccoms

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You identify as male in your sexual encounters, right? You currently define yourself as mainstream bi? Are you more into men or women romantically? Or you just like what you like at a given moment?

I discovered that I like trans men (female-to-male transsexuals), but have 0 interest in shemales. I was ashamed of it for a while. But. when you get a bit older, you're like: I don't give a $#$@#$#%^. I like what I like, and it's legal. My sexuality is no one's business but my own.

You always have been one of my fav. posters. Seriously.

My gender is kind of in the neutral zone, leaning toward masculine at the moment. When I have sex, I identify as male because my penis and vast amounts of pubic hair really :p.

I go by bisexual because the most amount of people will understand it. Inside my relationships, I'm more demisexual, pansexual, and sapiosexual than anything else really (i.e., emotional, personality, and intelligence). I'm all about the relationship I've built with a person, as long as there is chemistry and attraction between us.

I have very little experience with my romantic orientation to be honest. I've been single almost my entire life. I'm a bit...complicated, lol!

Thanks bigbull, I always seem to appreciate your posts as well! You own that orientation of yours! I really like transmen too. You know, I actually like fucking vaginas more than fucking asses, with exceptions of course. My dick is very sensitive, it gives me pain over pleasure pretty easily. So vaginas are better for it.

I just love getting fucked by big uncut dick SO much...
 
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alcor972

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My gender is kind of in the neutral zone
neutral zone?...
how is it possible?...
neutral would mean... neither male, neither female...
it seems to me that most of the living beings escape from this statement...
oh... maybe I must make a confusion between gender.... masculine/feminine... and sex... male/female... but are these two notions really different?...
I think they are similar... more precisely... the sex generally and necessarily induces the gender... lol...
 

jirachi96

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I was amazed when I first heard the words coming out from a movie wherein the lead said "being a gay is not a choice, it's a way of life". Stupid people would say you could choose your own asexuality
 

Anton565

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God doesn't make any junk.

It's interesting that I've never heard/read of any anti-gay churches explaining how they reconcile "God doesn't make junk" with "being gay* is a sin". I've also never heard any religious explanation for why anyone would consciously choose to be gay. Another topic I've never heard addressed is why if gay people choose to be gay, straight people do not then choose to be straight.

*For the sake of brevity "gay" can be taken to mean "LGBTQI..."
 
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Smaccoms

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neutral zone?...
how is it possible?...
neutral would mean... neither male, neither female...
it seems to me that most of the living beings escape from this statement...
oh... maybe I must make a confusion between gender.... masculine/feminine... and sex... male/female... but are these two notions really different?...
I think they are similar... more precisely... the sex generally and necessarily induces the gender... lol...


Bingo, they are not the same thing. For some people, this clarification might seem pointless, but to others it is not. That was part of my point. For example, I very much prefer women's jeans over men's jeans. That's a masculine/feminine thing, and has nothing to do with my sex. The two concepts might overlap, but they are DEFINITELY distinct from one another.

Sex does not necessarily induce gender. Maybe it did for you, but it is not such a simple thing for everyone.
 
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Shavemyballs69

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I'm 18 and gay, just came out and I this question has irked me since middle school. Did any of you actually choose to be gay? I'm not asking about whether or not you chose to come out or express youself as gay, I'm asking about whether or not you chose to be attracted to other men. It would boggle me if anyone would. I'm all for pride, but who would want to be a part of a minority struggling to fit in?
Good luck, man. I know what you are going through.
 
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tomjay122

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Thats a tough question that has been pondered for years I guess...I have had relationships with both men and women...early on in my teens and twenties it was mostly girls...although with a few men and boys in between for experimentation I guess....but once I was out on my own I found myself increasingly preferring men...by my mid to late twenties it had gone to all men....so I guess if it comes down to it...yes I chose men over women...
 

tucsonwoody

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Like many others, I knew I was attracted to guys even before I understood what sex was all about. I remember being as young as 12 or 13 and feeling something anytime I saw my older brothers friends, guys on my swim team etc. Once I learned about the sexes I can clearly remember saying out loud to myself "I'm gay" I never doubted I was born this way.
 
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This is an interesting question. Speaking as a gay man, I would say it's half choice, half influence...from my experiences in life. I grew up attracted to and interested in men more than women, in a sexual way for reasons I can't explain. I also, have had bad experiences with women in the past. Not sexually...just that most of the people who have let me down, in my life, have mainly been women. I am not generalizing the female gender!...I am just speaking from past experiences and I think that made me appreciate the male gender that bit more! I also think that society has made me even more interested in being gay, subconsciously, because people used to tell me when I was younger, that being gay was wrong and it was naughty and dirty. Maybe people calling it that, may have put those kinky thoughts into my head? THERE WE GO! I found the answer to homosexuality! People who said it's wrong, subliminally, turned me into a gay way of thinking! Hehe :p Anyway, whatever made me gay, I am thankful because being gay is okay! ;)