Did you "choose" to be gay?

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

100% of the guys here commenting as a "gay who choose to be gay" are openly bisexuals (not "100% gay"), idk why those people don't get why their experience is not appliable to people who are actually gay...

 

[Smaccoms]

100% of the guys here commenting as a "gay who choose to be gay" are openly bisexuals (not "100% gay"), idk why those people don't get why their experience is not appliable to people who are actually gay...

Dude, back off, it's not your decision to make. And you don't know how they identify sexually unless you sit down with them face to face to talk it out.

 

[328982]

100% of the guys here commenting as a "gay who choose to be gay" are openly bisexuals (not "100% gay"), idk why those people don't get why their experience is not appliable to people who are actually gay...

I'm here as a "gay who chose to be straight" at least for a while because I chose not to be scared of the pussy. Your biphobia is a fear of blurring boundaries. It's based on the denial that there can be more than a binary homo/straight division of sexuality. Which plays into the hands of homophobes because it's the same binary construct. Haven't you noticed that your posts get more likes from the 100% straight homophobes than from gays? That's because you're being a good little gay ghetto boy. Your thinking traps you where they want you to be.

 

[bigbull29]

Dude, back off, it's not your decision to make. And you don't know how they identify sexually unless you sit down with them face to face to talk it out.

Everyone has a unique sexuality.

I really don't like people telling me who I am sexually. Only I know that. My sexuality is even hard to put into words.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

I'm here as a "gay who chose to be straight" at least for a while because I chose not to be scared of the pussy. Your biphobia is a fear of blurring boundaries. It's based on the denial that there can be more than a binary homo/straight division of sexuality. Which plays into the hands of homophobes because it's the same binary construct. Haven't you noticed that your posts get more likes from the 100% straight homophobes than from gays? That's because you're being a good little gay ghetto boy. Your thinking traps you where they want you to be.

I don't see things as a gay/straight binary, much by the contrary. The thing is: I recognize the existance of bisexuality and recognize that bisexual people are not gay. You are not a gay men, you can't understand that gay people are not attracted to women and there is no choice on that. I got 1 like from that creepy straight-fetishist guy, that doesn't mean that my opinions are similar to straight homophobes. Much by the contrary, what you homophobic bisexuals are saying is basicaly what NARTH have been defending for decades: "gay men, you can choose to be with women", "gay men are lying when they say homosexuality is a choice", "gay men are afraid of women [or of pussy, as you say]", etc.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Dude, back off, it's not your decision to make. And you don't know how they identify sexually unless you sit down with them face to face to talk it out.

If I, a white man, identify myself as a black men, I should still be able to understand why my imput on black issues are not relevant and might not be realistic. I would be fooling myself if I didn't admit that my experiences differ from people who are actually black. While you can identify as whatever you want, we need to take off this overfocus on self-identification if we want to recognize issues that are specific from one community.
Bisexuals don't have the same experience gay men have of being coerced by society into an impossible attraction, they need to recognize that this is a form of anti-gay oppression and that they might reinforce it if they try, like straight people, to push their attractions as something that gay men could have if they wanted.

 

[Smaccoms]

If I, a white man, identify myself as a black men, I should still be able to understand why my imput on black issues are not relevant and might not be realistic. I would be fooling myself if I didn't admit that my experiences differ from people who are actually black. While you can identify as whatever you want, we need to take off this overfocus on self-identification if we want to recognize issues that are specific from one community.
Bisexuals don't have the same experience gay men have of being coerced by society into an impossible attraction, they need to recognize that this is a form of anti-gay oppression and that they might reinforce it if they try, like straight people, to push their attractions as something that gay men could have if they wanted.

And now you're comparing sexuality to race? Seriously? Not to mention the fact you seem blithely unaware of the fact that biracial people exist.

You still don't get it. Sure, fine, there is a bisexual community and a gay community, but even that is debatable. They don't draw clear cut lines between the two communities, they overlap, and gay people and bisexual people intermingle with one another at various events.

Sexuality is the same. Some gay men realize they are actually more bisexual and some bisexual men realize, after a time they're more gay. Why you insist a person's sexuality fitting your, and only your, interpretation of the world is beyond me. Everything is not about you.

 

[Rex13379]

Knew for a long time. Didn't choose it.

Had plenty of girlfriends when I was younger but always lusted after boys generally. Not only that but when it came down sex it just didn't happen. It was then I was certain

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

And now you're comparing sexuality to race? Seriously? Not to mention the fact you seem blithely unaware of the fact that biracial people exist.

There's really no reason to think sexuality should not be comparable with race. My commen does not say anything about biracial people, I'm just saying someone shouldn't identify as something they are not and expect to have the same experiences of that group.

You still don't get it. Sure, fine, there is a bisexual community and a gay community, but even that is debatable. They don't draw clear cut lines between the two communities, they overlap, and gay people and bisexual people intermingle with one another at various events.

I didn't say that bisexual people don't go to the same events gay people go, I'm just saying they don't have the experience of being coerced by society into an impossible attraction.

Sexuality is the same. Some gay men realize they are actually more bisexual and some bisexual men realize, after a time they're more gay. Why you insist a person's sexuality fitting your, and only your, interpretation of the world is beyond me. Everything is not about you.

The existance of an objective reality implies that some interpretations are correct while others are not. You guys are repeating the same bullshit NARTH used to say for decades. I don't get why you are all so shocked that I won't let bisexuals get away with classical homophobia.

 

[328982]

I don't see things as a gay/straight binary, much by the contrary. The thing is: I recognize the existance of bisexuality and recognize that bisexual people are not gay. You are not a gay men, you can't understand that gay people are not attracted to women and there is no choice on that. I got 1 like from that creepy straight-fetishist guy, that doesn't mean that my opinions are similar to straight homophobes. Much by the contrary, what you homophobic bisexuals are saying is basicaly what NARTH have been defending for decades: "gay men, you can choose to be with women", "gay men are lying when they say homosexuality is a choice", "gay men are afraid of women [or of pussy, as you say]", etc.

It makes no sense that NARTH would say "gay men are lying when they say homosexuality is a choice".

 

[328982]

You guys are repeating the same bullshit NARTH used to say for decades. I don't get why you are all so shocked that I won't let bisexuals get away with classical homophobia.

Nobody is shocked. It's old ground. This does seem to be a trigger for you. Perhaps you had a strict religious upbringing and experienced conversion therapy first hand? If so, I'm sorry. Your b/w take on sexuality certainly seems rooted in religious thinking. Homophobes applaud your posts (not just the one above, many of them) because they are comfortable with the mindset, they recognise their territory. Same boundaries, same worldview.

And actually nobody here has a problem with you saying you could never choose to be with a woman. That's fine and true for you. It's you who insists on imposing your rigid definitions on others. Why is this idea of having a word that describes precisely your sexuality and those sharing exactly your proclivities so important to you?

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

It makes no sense that NARTH would say "gay men are lying when they say homosexuality is a choice".

Sorry, that's a typo. I meant to say that NARTH claim that "gay men are lying when they say they were born homosexual". They claim being gay is a choice.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Nobody is shocked. It's old ground. This does seem to be a trigger for you. Perhaps you had a strict religious upbringing and experienced conversion therapy first hand? If so, I'm sorry. Your b/w take on sexuality certainly seems rooted in religious thinking. Homophobes applaud your posts (not just the one above, many of them) because they are comfortable with the mindset, they recognise their territory. Same boundaries, same worldview.

And actually nobody here has a problem with you saying you could never choose to be with a woman. That's fine and true for you. It's you who insists on imposing your rigid definitions on others. Why is this idea of having a word that describes precisely your sexuality and those sharing exactly your proclivities so important to you?

I did experienced conversion therapy first hand, and my religious upbringing is cristianity, who's holy book demand gay people to be stoned to death. My take on sexuality is not rooted on religion, yours is. The idea that being gay is a choice, that you can get yourself to become attracted to women, is conversion therapy 101. Religion and secular conversion therapists sometimes even ignore the existance of sexual orientation and sexual attraction, rather focusing on sexual behavior to further imply the idea of choice.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

I'm not pushing anyone towards any worldview, I'm just saying that if you are able to choose either genders to fuck because you are attracted to both, don't call yourself gay or you are going to be promoting homophobic lies that fundament conversion therapy. Sure you can identify with anything, but please realize that you have to refrain from this make-believe approach to sexual orientations labels if your identification is going to imply that myths about homosexuality are truth - that it can be wished away if you are motivated, that gay people chose to be gay, that they are just afraid of pussy and would LOVE it like everyone else if they just tried it (if that doesn't stenches homophobia to you, than you all became insensitive to it and I'm losing my time here).

 

[scobla]

You can choose who to hop into bed with (closeted gays still pick a wife) but it's not the same as choosing precisely what gets your dick hard and why. I'm gay. Only men do it for me. Only their dick, ass, smell, chest, eyes, smile and laugh does it for me. And I'm getting hard just thinking about that

 

[Smaccoms]

I'm not pushing anyone towards any worldview, I'm just saying that if you are able to choose either genders to fuck because you are attracted to both, don't call yourself gay or you are going to be promoting homophobic lies that fundament conversion therapy. Sure you can identify with anything, but please realize that you have to refrain from this make-believe approach to sexual orientations labels if your identification is going to imply that myths about homosexuality are truth - that it can be wished away if you are motivated, that gay people chose to be gay, that they are just afraid of pussy and would LOVE it like everyone else if they just tried it (if that doesn't stenches homophobia to you, than you all became insensitive to it and I'm losing my time here).

Why you're so afraid of making choices is beyond me. I suppose that conversion therapy really must have left a mark. I think the entire point of conversion therapy is to steal a person's ability to be confident in their choices and their experiences. Suddenly, you're not allowed to become an adult because everything you do, say, and feel is wrong.

And now you're here trying to insist that everyone accommodate your childhood wound just because you refuse to learn how to take care of yourself without our help.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Why you're so afraid of making choices is beyond me. I suppose that conversion therapy really must have left a mark. I think the entire point of conversion therapy is to steal a person's ability to be confident in their choices and their experiences. Suddenly, you're not allowed to become an adult because everything you do, say, and feel is wrong.

And now you're here trying to insist that everyone accommodate your childhood wound just because you refuse to learn how to take care of yourself without our help.

How my first hand experience with conversion therapy compromises my capacity to see what's conversion therapy rhetoric and what's not?

 

[328982]

I'm not pushing anyone towards any worldview, I'm just saying that if you are able to choose either genders to fuck because you are attracted to both, don't call yourself gay or you are going to be promoting homophobic lies that fundament conversion therapy. Sure you can identify with anything, but please realize that you have to refrain from this make-believe approach to sexual orientations labels if your identification is going to imply that myths about homosexuality are truth - that it can be wished away if you are motivated, that gay people chose to be gay, that they are just afraid of pussy and would LOVE it like everyone else if they just tried it (if that doesn't stenches homophobia to you, than you all became insensitive to it and I'm losing my time here).

Get real. Nobody here is promoting conversion therapy in any form. Plenty - perhaps even most - gay men have had voluntary sexual contact with women at some time in their lives. That doesn't make us crypto homophobes or ct apologists. It just means we've explored a bit. Really, you're trapped in an absurd polemic. Your identity is not being threatened here.

 

[Almost40]

I dont know. I tried the man 2 man stuff first and then went on with my str8 side for couple of years and then again back to basics bla bla. If you consider that my first time ever, was with a dude, when i was younger than you, way younger, then you can tell it was an act of sheer impulse. Not a matter of choice.

 

[Smaccoms]

I feel like people do way bigger deal things out of pure impulse than trying gay or straight sex. Like crashing a car on purpose. Or, well, a million different things.