Did you "choose" to be gay?

[Smaccoms]

Because choosing to be gay means you're actively pushing away from the social norm, trying to "be a special snowflake" as most put it, for the sake of feeling unique. It's seen as immature, like dyeing your hair a flamboyant color. Also, it means your choosing to commit a sin according to Christians. Not saying I agree with it, but I'm pretty sure that's why it's an issue, it's more complicated than simply people not being ok with the choice.

Because actively choosing to be gay is synonymous with burning all of society down to the ground...surely this could only be a terrible accident of some sort? Kind of like the root cause of a zombie apocalypse being a lab experiment gone wrong. Everyone in that "category" OBVIOUSLY feels an enormous amount of shame and self-hatred because their DISEASE will eventually KILL EVERYONE! Now, people have the NERVE to become infected ON PURPOSE! Seriously!?

#Sarcasm

 

[nickinoo]

Although it's an interesting question, it doesn't matter if some people choose to be gay. It doesn't matter if it is influenced by a person's upbringing either. Because it's fine, it's a good thing that you should be proud of.

The only people it is really important to seems to be homophobic bigots, including a portion of Christians and people of other unpleasant faiths, the people who are trying to prove them wrong in their theories, and scientists. Actually I guess that's a lot of people.

But a scientific discovery that gay people are born gay is not going to silence bigots or stop homophobia. They hate gays because they need something to hate. They are just not nice people.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Because choosing to be gay means you're actively pushing away from the social norm, trying to "be a special snowflake" as most put it, for the sake of feeling unique. It's seen as immature, like dyeing your hair a flamboyant color. Also, it means your choosing to commit a sin according to Christians. Not saying I agree with it, but I'm pretty sure that's why it's an issue, it's more complicated than simply people not being ok with the choice.

That reminds me of "political lesbians": in every case, they were just heterosexual women who couldn't see homosexuality as nothing more than civil disobedience, they were never capable of actually being in a relationship with women and eventually went back to heterosexual relationships because that's who they were. Sexual orientation is a physiological fact, not a bratty choice.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Don't you WANT it to be a choice?

That's pretty much the definition of wishful thinking.
I used to want it to be a choice. Reality proved repeatedly and cruelly it wasn't.

 

[Smaccoms]

@umdoistressilvaquatro More than anything, you sound like a desperate wanabe, an unhappy coward. You should embrace yourself by not trying to be something you are not. But "embracing yourself" does not mean the same thing for everyone. For me, it meant having sex with women even though I generally prefer sex with men. So it wasn't "wishful thinking", it was me trying to piece together how sex with women made my feel, and whether or not I could enjoy it.

I prefer men still, but naked women don't make me fear for my sense of self anymore. It turns out I CAN enjoy sex with women, but only if I remember that it's OKAY to not be straight OR gay! That thought scared me shitless back in high school, and I see a similar block in a lot of people around me as well. They are unaware of how the sex they do not prefer makes them feel, and they take that unresolved tension out on other people, which is unfair.

People are very heterosexist. They expect and assume everyone to be a "gold star" heterosexual, and their behavior/actions reveals that belief whether they admit it or not.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

@umdoistressilvaquatro More than anything, you sound like a desperate wanabe, an unhappy coward.

Yes, do personal attacks, that will definitely increase your credibility, great idea

 

[Hockeytiger]

The only people who have the freedom of choosing are bisexuals.

I have to respectfully disagree. I no more chose my bisexuality than you chose your homosexuality. Were you referring to something other than that?

One's sexuality is not determined by the gender with which one has sex with, but rather to whom one is attracted to.

 

[Brodie888]

I have to respectfully disagree. I no more chose my bisexuality than you chose your homosexuality. Were you referring to something other than that?

One's sexuality is not determined by the gender with which one has sex with, but rather to whom one is attracted to.

What I meant by choice is that a bisexual can choose a homosexual relationship or a heterosexual relationship and feel congruent in themselves. Gender is less important to them.

I am not disputing bisexuality is not a choice.

 

[deleted1023499]

no to be, i am what life and nature made me. the only choice was accept who i am and live my life with as much joy, happiness and pleasure as possible without justifying who i am. straight didn t choose neither or justified neither. be yourself and be happy thats the key

 

[name]

All sexuality is choice except for rape.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

All sexuality is choice except for rape.

You are mistaking the sexual act with sexuality. Being raped has nothing to do with your sexuality.

 

[Titanomachina]

Although it's an interesting question, it doesn't matter if some people choose to be gay. It doesn't matter if it is influenced by a person's upbringing either. Because it's fine, it's a good thing that you should be proud of.

The only people it is really important to seems to be homophobic bigots, including a portion of Christians and people of other unpleasant faiths, the people who are trying to prove them wrong in their theories, and scientists. Actually I guess that's a lot of people.

But a scientific discovery that gay people are born gay is not going to silence bigots or stop homophobia. They hate gays because they need something to hate. They are just not nice people.

It's actually nothing to be ashamed or proud of, it just is. People don't celebrate having brown hair or grey eyes.

As for the born gay, that's not entirely true. You can change later on in life and wind up liking the opposite sex (something more common in homosexuals than heterosexuals). It is also a not so clear area as what influences it.

 

[nickinoo]

It's actually nothing to be ashamed or proud of, it just is. People don't celebrate having brown hair or grey eyes.

It's something I choose to be proud of, as do a lot of people. If you don't want to, that's your choice. And when I say proud, I don't mean I see it as an achievement that I brag about. It's a quality I like about myself and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As for the born gay, that's not entirely true. You can change later on in life and wind up liking the opposite sex (something more common in homosexuals than heterosexuals). It is also a not so clear area as what influences it.

Yes some people have a fluid sexuality. I believe I was born gay, and I know I have been gay since I was a child. Other gay people have different experiences because everybody is different. But as I said, I don't see much importance in finding out the truth of whether there is a gay gene or not. I don't think it matters.

 

[Titanomachina]

It's something I choose to be proud of, as do a lot of people. If you don't want to, that's your choice. And when I say proud, I don't mean I see it as an achievement that I brag about. It's a quality I like about myself and I wouldn't have it any other way.



Yes some people have a fluid sexuality. I believe I was born gay, and I know I have been gay since I was a child. Other gay people have different experiences because everybody is different. But as I said, I don't see much importance in finding out the truth of whether there is a gay gene or not. I don't think it matters.

I disagree about it being something to be proud of. Again it's like benign proud to be straight or a participation trophy, a meaningless trait.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

I disagree about it being something to be proud of. Again it's like benign proud to be straight or a participation trophy, a meaningless trait.

Being alive as a gay or bi person is being:
A) a survivor and
B) in open or concealed rebellion against the heterosexual-supremacist society
Both are reasons to be proud and proof that same-sex attraction it's not meaningless trait, only relevant in the bedroom, etc

 

[Russ311]

I didn't choose. I prayed in church to be straight. I went to Catholic school, played sports and dated girls. But it was all an act. I came out 5 yrs ago at 30 to family and friends. I'm glad I'm true to myself now.

 

[Titanomachina]

Being alive as a gay or bi person is being:
A) a survivor and
B) in open or concealed rebellion against the heterosexual-supremacist society
Both are reasons to be proud and proof that same-sex attraction it's not meaningless trait, only relevant in the bedroom, etc

No it isn't. It just means you are human. It's meaningless. In the end a corpse is no different from any other one. Get over yourself.

 

[nickinoo]

No it isn't. It just means you are human. It's meaningless. In the end a corpse is no different from any other one. Get over yourself.

Now you're just being unpleasant. Many thousands of people across the world feel the need to be proud of being gay or a gay ally by attending Pride events. These events have played a big part in helping the gay rights movement and got us to where we are today. If people weren't proud to be gay these changes would not have happened, and the world for gay people would be a very different place, in a bad way.

I know what you're saying, and I used to have a similar stance. It's like being proud of being British or a man, or a woman, or black, or a twin or having a huge cock. It's something that just is. But as umdoistressilvaquatro put it, we are proud as a rebellion to how many of society thinks we should feel, ashamed.

 

[LeftCoast]

A big part of the Pride movement is demonstrating to those who are struggling with being gay or coming out that it's okay. Gay people come in every size, shape, color, profession, political affiliation, and level of intelligence. We don't choose to be gay; we choose to accept ourselves for who we really are. When I say gay here I'm including the entire rainbow of the alphabet: LGBTQ...

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

No it isn't. It just means you are human. It's meaningless. In the end a corpse is no different from any other one. Get over yourself.

I didn't claimed that gay dead corpses were better than straight dead corpses. And what a retarded argument is that! "Nothing in life matters, since we will all end up dead". Fuck you, I have my values and I don't give them up. I believe being a fighter is a reason to be proud. What I said was merely the obvious: gay and bi people have to fight much more in their lifes because of their sexual orientation than straight people have, and being a fighter is a reason to be proud. Why should I get over that? We don't all have the obligation of being futile nihilists like you.