Did you think the wife is lying. Did she have sex with her new friend?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by widenine, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. widenine

    widenine New Member

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    It's damn interesting to hear the female take on this one. I'm dealing with neighbors who separated two months ago for the second time in Five years. On each ocassion, the wife plotted and planned her careful departure over few months. This time she told her husband that she was off to walk the dog and never returned. He tracked her down through her family and found that she had flown to another state to start over.

    Last week, it appeared that amends have been made and she may be returning home to be with him. Then they had a conversation about the first time she left, five years ago, and she confessed that after leaving, she fell into a relationship with a guy that she met while alone at a movie. He walked up to her and asked her out. The relationship lasted, she said, for two months. The whole time she was talking and kind of dating her husband and deciding if she wanted to get back together.

    Now... here is where the help is needed. She swears to her husband that during the two months, the man would come to her new home/condominium and that they were never intimate. She says that they would sit on the sofa and watch movies. They never laid in bed to watch movies, he didn't kiss her accept to say hello and good bye on the cheek, there was no touching private parts directly or indirectly. She says, not everyone thinks that way. But she met her husband long ago and they had intercourse on the second date, on his sofa.

    Personally, her husband and I believe she fucked the guy, probably many times. I believe they had full-out oral and penetrative sex and that the relationship fell apart. She's older than the guy and he got what he wanted and split over time.

    If she had told him this, he would have believed her and still took her back. Now she's coming home and this "lie" is looming over the relationship. He had never cheated on her until she told him about this guy. Then he met a women and fucked her in his bed.

    Note: She told him that she wasn't wrong to see the guy because they were separated.. she had moved out. She believes she was wrong for not telling him during the five year period that they've been back together. And Now that she's planning to come home, she's pissed because he won't say if he's getting laid in her absence. Go figure.


    Ok..women... and men. Is she lying? What is your gut?

    Note also that she and her husband were not having sex for over a year when she left. She wanted it but the husband lost interest. They had intimacy problems and planned to get help.
     
  2. dolfette

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    it really doesn't matter.
     
  3. hung

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    This couple's problems, and note I stated problems are more complex than anyone here needs to consider.

    They both need serious help from a ________________________. You fill in the blank.

    If this happened to me I would be seeking the counsel of a lawyer to eliminate this problem once and for all.

    Life is far to short to keep being recycled.
     
  4. nicettech

    nicettech Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm......Well what one person considers cheating another onedoes not. Most people lie about things like this when confronted. I believe that once people start having relationships of any kind behind their partner's back of the intimate type their is a good chance that the original relationship is doomed. Having sex with someone else that is not mutually agreed on is cheating if you are with someone else. I think that she left found someone she thought she was interested in. Your boy had not hit that shit for a year or more. At first things may have been good for her because she was getting something she wanted that she had not had in a while then the dude split cause he was done with it. The other way to look at it is she had not had attention in a while things were not good so she left. She found someone else giving her attention appealing and enjoyed it. Then after a while she realized lust does not replace love and for whatever reason she came home. As for your boy having sex with another woman it does not matter if it is in his bed her bed or on the hood of a car. He had sex with another woman besides his wie while they were seperated. Going by their action from what you have said, I would think that the relatioship is basicly over and it would serve both of them well to move on. PLus often timmes people choose to be see things the way they want to so they do not get their feelings hurt. The woman in my opionion left got layed decided she missed her husband and came home. When she got home she sort of confessed did not tell the truth they both know it. He is hurt and she feels guilty the problems they used to have are still there and on top of that now they have all the new issues. Tag it bag it and move on.
     
  5. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    Wow, you're neighbor certainly didn't spare any of the details! Personally, if he doesn't believe her then he should just drop it - she says she didnt, he doesnt believe it - there will never be an end to that disagreement. He can either accept it and move on and take her back, or not accept it and end the relationship. Trust is very important in a relationship, if you don't have that, you wont get very far. He's being quite petty by playing the "did I or didn't I?" game.
     
  6. Cobalt Blue

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    A woman... lying about her infidelities?
    Shurely shum mishtake...
    Of course, they sat on the sofa and watched movies....















    :biggrin1:
     
  7. invisibleman

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    :rolleyes: I don't like cheaters who up and leave a relationship abruptly. They should be honest and be upfront. I have had three guys that have done that.
     
  8. dolfette

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    she must've gone to great lengths to leave.
    and then he went to great lengths to track her down.
    i'd be more worried that there was some bullying/control issues behind doors.
    she never came back...so she left most of her clothes? her music? her photos? that sounds more like an escape plan than a break up.

    if that is the case here then her having sex with him really isn't important. she'd left her husband, she was entitled to sex with whoever she chose. he chose to track her down and talk her back so he has to accept that things may have happened.

    i have exes who would help me out & keep me company, in a platonic way, while i sorted myself out. he's no proof she shagged him, she's no proof she didn't.

    but really, it doesn't matter.
     
  9. Viking_UK

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    I must admit I tend to agree with Dolfette on this one. It sounds like she ran scared and wasn't too keen on the idea of coming back. Whether or not she had sex with anyone while she was away is irrelevant. What surprises me is that she came back either time.

    Why is the OP so interested in someone else's relationship?
     
  10. dolfette

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    the whole story makes me shudder.

    i hope she's ok.
     
  11. Pitbull

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    What about the dog she was walking when she left?
     
  12. invisibleman

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    The dog ran away. :biggrin1:
     
  13. denton85

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    The story she is telling (or perhaps the details in your telling) is just too odd/ off, and just doesn't add up to me.

    Was this a plot to leave him out of the blue with no plan whatsoever other than just being gone? highly unlikely. What's more likely and happens MUCH more often (women and men)

    That she was having an affair with a man she probably met before hand. Had fallen in love with him, and they planned to "run away" with each other. So she did ...

    However on top of this more probable tale, is a story of an abused woman. Women who are being abused for a long time feel as if they are trapped and can't leave. Some will come up with elaborate plans of just disappearing, and will usually be just too scared to go through with it. But when they do leave, it's sudden and dramatic because they fear for their safety. Many times women will need a helping hand and support before they actually go through with it.

    The help may have come in the form of this new man. They meet and have a great friendship and possible affair. And he encourages her to leave her abusive husband. This is all it usually takes for an abused women to leave... support from someone else so they don't feel so alone and trapped.

    There are too many variables and possibility in this story to really get down to the facts... however one thing is for sure ... they shouldn't get back together...
     
  14. Incocknito

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    Why do you have such an interest in your neighbour's personal life? Or are you this "neighbour"?

    To be honest, its obvious they fuck. Any time I'm alone with a woman especially when sleeping over (which I assume he would have done) - sex happens.
     
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